Oh…so sad! It is my last two months now in Serbia. Actually two months from today! I have been so happy here – I have really come to love it! And I am really sad to have to say goodbye to my life here and especially to my friends.
In my remaining time here I will be teaching two classes, one in Women’s Studies and one in American Studies (on the Civil Rights Movement). I will also be completing two book chapters for publication and continuing my volunteer work. I need to make a trip to Sarajevo still, and hope to get back to Crvenka at least once (preferably twice).
Since I’ve been back (mid-August) I’ve done some traveling, have spent some time with good friends, and have generally been trying to enjoy everything about Belgrade – savoring it bite by bite!
The Serbo-summer was long and lovely, but sometime last week it went from 70 - 80 degrees everyday to barely 40 degrees! I am hoping Fall comes back here next week! It just slipped by in the night!
I’ve been working, of course, but have really also been trying to find time to appreciate my wonderful friends and the last few moments of this amazing experience.
So much has changed! I mean when I got here I was so confused and things were so difficult – my daily life I mean. Now all those little things are so easy! I mean there are still days that suck, and times that things are hard, but my language skills have improved, I have a perfect number of friends that I like very much, I have a routine, and places I like to go…I am settled! I even joined a really beautiful gym recently. I had been walking for exercise on the path near the river, and I had passed this gorgeous gym every day. I finally decided to join and while it was not cheap, it is really cool! The work-out space overlooks the Danube and Sava rivers so you watch the world go by while you do your cardio! GREAT!
It’s funny to me that as the new American Fulbright grantees arrive, their frustrations are so similar to mine when I first arrived, and yet those things seem so far away for me now! I’ve adjusted to and come to love the loose conception of time, the multiple daily coffee breaks, and the culture in general.
Of course I am not blind to all of the things that need to change politically, and I am not blind to the poverty and daily problems people face here. I will continue to write about and work on these issues of course. It’s just that, all those things aside, I have become really happy with my daily life here.
A small example of this – last night me and some friends went to see local pop-star Severina in concert. We met up at my place first, had drinks and snacks and watched hilarious videos of horrible local turbo-folk pop stars. We then went to the show. Severina is like a Balkan Madonna, and her show was a sold-out arena spectacular! I had seen Severina before when I was in Dubrovnik, Croatia, but that was a much smaller venue – maybe 1,000 people at most. This was sooo different!
Sadly our seats were pretty bad. We had bought tickets in the standing section so we could dance, but there was no way to see the stage, and that was a shame b/c she had dancers and glitter cannons and disco balls and video footage behind her and props and special guest stars and all kinds of things! If only she had like 2 video screens mounted on the sides so that those of us in the “cheap seats” could see her, it would have been perfect!
Still, we danced and sang and really had a great time. Most of the audience knew every single song, and there was a group of high school girls in front of us who sang and danced and cried and hugged and really were enthused by every single song. I know a lot of her songs, having purchased her “greatest hits” CD about 7 years ago after seeing her shopping in a music shop in Zagreb. I then used her music to help with language study, and as such I do know a few of her songs by heart. I even translated a few of them for language study, so I actually understand the words! But for most of them, I know many of the words, but don’t fully understand the songs – I guess like when most non-native English speakers learn American pop-songs when they’re young!
Still the concert was fantastic! She played for nearly 3 hours with no intermission, and changed costume like 5 times! It was great!!
The way that people enjoy life here – the way they cherish their relationships more than money – this is something I am really going to miss. Not to idealize it. But just to stress that I have come to a point where I really love it here – the culture, the people and my life here.
I’ll try to write more again when I can. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Istanbul - Super Cool!
So, when I knew I was coming to Serbia for the year I vowed that I would try to see a few countries that I had never been to. Having a Turkish friend, “M” who I had known from my time in Holland I had planned to take a trip to Istanbul for a visit. As usual, although I had thought I would go in spring, I had become quite busy, and the plan was pushed back. But, finally, in September, I was able to make that trip to Istanbul along with my friend “A” (my Serbian friend who lives now in Holland) who was very good friends with “M” during their university study.
I am not sure what I expected Istanbul to be like really. I think my impressions were shaped in part by American Islamophobia, in part by my experiences in Holland (where many of the sketchy drug dealers are Turkish men and many of the Turkish women you see are very traditional), and in large part by the stereotypes of Turks that are so prevalent in the Balkans. With all of this I had imagined a somewhat wild frontier, with no road rules, covered women, dark mustachioed men, “Turkish toilets,” and goodness knows what else. This impression was only exaggerated by the fact that the day before we arrived in Istanbul there was a torrential rain that led to a huge flood that killed numerous people.
Well, I must say that am a little ashamed that I had such a negative idea of what Istanbul would be like – and idea formed by stereotypes I did not even know I held. And I am so happy that I went to Istanbul and am so glad to change my opinions because Istanbul was nothing like anything I had pictured in my head!
First of all, it is so so so cosmopolitan! When I first arrived, “A” was already there, and she and “M” came to meet me at the airport. We took the exceptionally clean, safe and well-maintained metro to the neighborhood where our friend lives. He runs a bakery and sweets shop, and his apartment is just above the shop. We first dropped off our things in his apartment, said hello to his two adorable Dalmatians and his equally awesome cat, and headed off to the local grocery store to get some supplies. As soon as we walked into the store I was pleasantly overwhelmed with color and selection! So many beautiful fruits and veggies, isles and isles of choices of everything! “M” laughed at me because he said I acted like I had never been in a grocery store before, but having been in Serbia for so long, and having had an idea that Turkey was like some far-flung outpost, I was both thrilled and impressed!
So, our friend “M” is a great cook and a great host and we went back to his place for dinner. We spent the first night catching up, playing with his pets and hanging out. The next morning, after breakfast, we headed out for our first day of exploring.
We took the metro to the main shopping area and again I was pleasantly overwhelmed by all the choices! Every store that you could imagine from all over Europe and the USA was there – plus about 100 Starbucks! Further, it was soon quickly clear that Turkish people come in every color and are of many different ethnic groups and, contrary to my ill-informed assumption, despite being Ramadan, there were very few covered women. On top of that, there were so many tourists from all over the world, and it seemed totally normal to smile in the street, and to speak English (unlike in Belgrade where I feel a bit stupid doing either!)
We wandered the streets and “M” showed us all the sites in this modern part of Istanbul. But, like Athens or Rome, Istanbul has thousands of years of history and there are many parts of the city from all different eras! We walked from the modern shopping street to the river where you are standing at the edge of Europe, looking over into Asia! COOL!
I am not sure what I expected Istanbul to be like really. I think my impressions were shaped in part by American Islamophobia, in part by my experiences in Holland (where many of the sketchy drug dealers are Turkish men and many of the Turkish women you see are very traditional), and in large part by the stereotypes of Turks that are so prevalent in the Balkans. With all of this I had imagined a somewhat wild frontier, with no road rules, covered women, dark mustachioed men, “Turkish toilets,” and goodness knows what else. This impression was only exaggerated by the fact that the day before we arrived in Istanbul there was a torrential rain that led to a huge flood that killed numerous people.
Well, I must say that am a little ashamed that I had such a negative idea of what Istanbul would be like – and idea formed by stereotypes I did not even know I held. And I am so happy that I went to Istanbul and am so glad to change my opinions because Istanbul was nothing like anything I had pictured in my head!
First of all, it is so so so cosmopolitan! When I first arrived, “A” was already there, and she and “M” came to meet me at the airport. We took the exceptionally clean, safe and well-maintained metro to the neighborhood where our friend lives. He runs a bakery and sweets shop, and his apartment is just above the shop. We first dropped off our things in his apartment, said hello to his two adorable Dalmatians and his equally awesome cat, and headed off to the local grocery store to get some supplies. As soon as we walked into the store I was pleasantly overwhelmed with color and selection! So many beautiful fruits and veggies, isles and isles of choices of everything! “M” laughed at me because he said I acted like I had never been in a grocery store before, but having been in Serbia for so long, and having had an idea that Turkey was like some far-flung outpost, I was both thrilled and impressed!
So, our friend “M” is a great cook and a great host and we went back to his place for dinner. We spent the first night catching up, playing with his pets and hanging out. The next morning, after breakfast, we headed out for our first day of exploring.
We took the metro to the main shopping area and again I was pleasantly overwhelmed by all the choices! Every store that you could imagine from all over Europe and the USA was there – plus about 100 Starbucks! Further, it was soon quickly clear that Turkish people come in every color and are of many different ethnic groups and, contrary to my ill-informed assumption, despite being Ramadan, there were very few covered women. On top of that, there were so many tourists from all over the world, and it seemed totally normal to smile in the street, and to speak English (unlike in Belgrade where I feel a bit stupid doing either!)
We wandered the streets and “M” showed us all the sites in this modern part of Istanbul. But, like Athens or Rome, Istanbul has thousands of years of history and there are many parts of the city from all different eras! We walked from the modern shopping street to the river where you are standing at the edge of Europe, looking over into Asia! COOL!
Modern Istanbul shopping street
A view of Asia from the edge of Europe!We then proceeded to what is known as the Spice Market. Unlike the Grande Bazaar – which is so widely known – the Spice Market is still actually frequented by locals. It was so amazing! So beautiful! And we were really lucky to be with a local because I think we got the most authentic experience. We spent ages walking around, looking at everything, tasting local cheeses and sweets, and looking at local crafts, textiles, etc.
Spice Bazzar
Spice Bazzar
Spice Baazar 
Spice Baazar
Spice Bazaar In the late afternoon that day, the local government put out a warning of another potential flood and so we went home early, made dinner together, and “A” helped “M” make his cookie order for the next day while I read to them from various websites.
Some of the cookies from our host's bakery shop
Our Host's bakery and sweets shopThe next day I wanted to see the famed Grande Bazaar. We spent a few hours there, wandering, haggling, watching in awe! It is really interesting and HUGE! It spans maybe 12 city blocks or more!
Grand Baazar
Grande Baazar
We then went on to see the famous Aya Sofia (an old Christian church that then became a mosque and is now a museum) and finished the day at the Blue Mosque (the largest mosque outside of Mecca). We spent hours inside of Aya Sofia and “M” was an amazing guide as he had led tour groups there before, so it was like a private tour! As we worked our way over to the Blue Mosque, “A” and I put on our head-scarves which were required in the mosque out of respect. We then spent about 20 minutes taking pictures of ourselves in the scarves, whereby we actually missed the last entry time to the Blue Mosque! (yes, we felt like idiots!). We made our way home, had dinner together and crashed.
Inside Aya Sofia
Inside Aya Sofia - where they are excavating the Christian Icons from under the Islamic Art
Inside Aya Sofia - the alter space
Inside Aya Sofia
Aya Sofia from the outside
Blue Mosque
Courtyard of Blue Mosque
Blue Mosque as seen from Aya Sofia
Blue Mosque
The next day we were to go to Asia! We took the boat to the Asian continent and explored the city on that side for a while. We then met up with a friend of “M” and walked around a bit, enjoying the natural beauty of the place. Afterward we went back to “M”’s house for our meal and played with the pets again. It was so great to be around these pets! They all loved me and all wanted to touch me constantly and it made me miss having a pet around sooo much!
Coming back from Asia
One of our host's Dalmations and the cat
The other Dalmatian
On my last day I went to try to see the Blue Mosque again, and was closed out for a funeral. I met “M” at one of the city’s huge mega-malls, and in the evening I caught my flight back to Belgrade.
I am thrilled to have had the chance to go to Istanbul and really had a great time. “M” was an amazing host and guide, and the three of us thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. I can’t wait to go back to Istanbul. I could easily live there and will certainly go back for a visit. It is an amazing place and I feel like I have a fuller worldview because of my time there!
Inside Aya Sofia
Inside Aya Sofia - where they are excavating the Christian Icons from under the Islamic Art
Inside Aya Sofia - the alter space
Inside Aya Sofia 
Aya Sofia from the outside
Blue Mosque 
Courtyard of Blue Mosque
Blue Mosque as seen from Aya Sofia 
Blue MosqueThe next day we were to go to Asia! We took the boat to the Asian continent and explored the city on that side for a while. We then met up with a friend of “M” and walked around a bit, enjoying the natural beauty of the place. Afterward we went back to “M”’s house for our meal and played with the pets again. It was so great to be around these pets! They all loved me and all wanted to touch me constantly and it made me miss having a pet around sooo much!
Coming back from Asia
One of our host's Dalmations and the cat
The other DalmatianOn my last day I went to try to see the Blue Mosque again, and was closed out for a funeral. I met “M” at one of the city’s huge mega-malls, and in the evening I caught my flight back to Belgrade.
I am thrilled to have had the chance to go to Istanbul and really had a great time. “M” was an amazing host and guide, and the three of us thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. I can’t wait to go back to Istanbul. I could easily live there and will certainly go back for a visit. It is an amazing place and I feel like I have a fuller worldview because of my time there!
I wish I could say so much more in so much more detail, but I'm afraid that is all I can manage for now. Just wanted to share a few things and some pics.
As Always...thanks for reading!
My Serbo-Family in Crvenka
In the last few months I have been travelling to Crvenka (in Vojvodina – north Serbia) to visit my landlord’s family every few weeks. I love it so much and have adopted them as my Serbian family! I feel I have really gotten an authentic perspective on Serbian culture from my time there. Although the Vojvodina region is unique in Serbia due to its largely multi-ethnic make-up (somewhere around 50% of Vojvodina is not of Serb ethnicity with many ethnic-Hungarians, ethnic-Germans, ethnic-Romanians, etc.) there are still important aspects of the every-day culture there that are fantastically representative of the best aspects of traditional Serbian culture. Foremost among these things is the hospitality!
In Belgrade, being a big city, I had not really been able to see this part of Serbian culture, though I had heard and read much about it. In fact, I had begun to think of it as a myth! But with my Serbian family in Crvenka I have felt so welcome and so at home that every time I visit it is hard to leave!
So let me back up and explain a little bit… The parents, Aci & Caca, are in their 40s. Aci is an ethnically German Serb, descended from a group of protestant Germans that settled in Vojvodina in the 17th and 18th century. After the Second World War, many of these ethnic Germans were imprisoned and/or driven out of the region (regardless of whether they were aligned with the Nazis or not – and most of them were not), and those that remained were stripped of their land and possessions under communism. Their land and possessions were re-distributed, mostly to settlers from Montenegro. There are all kinds of mythic stories in the area about the ways the Montenegrin settlers reacted to the technological advancements they found in the ethnically-German homes in which they were resettled, including utter confusion about indoor plumbing, tiled floors and stone fireplaces, but it’s hard to tell what is stereotype and what is true. The stories claim that the Montenegrins that came to Vojvodina were mainly peasants who had lived in earthen homes with dirt floors and without plumbing, but again I cannot attest to that with certainty.
Anyhow, Aci, my Serbo-family patriarch, comes from the ethnic-Germans, and identifies somewhat as such, but really seems to have a much larger allegiance to Yugoslavia. Aci moved to Belgrade with his family (his mother a professor and his father a veterinarian) when he was beginning high-school, and his mentality is quite cosmopolitan. He then went to university here in Belgrade and then worked on movie sets through the 1980s as many international films were shot here during that time. He and I spend hours talking about current events, history, local and global politics…quiet certainly we have solved all the world’s problems over a bottle of whiskey about 30 times over ;-)
The matriarch, Caca, is from a Serbian-Montenegrin family. She also studied in Belgrade and went to university for Travel and Tourism. She now runs a lovely resort/hotel in the town that neighbors Crvenka – Kula. She and I have become very close friends. We talk on the phone several times a week and I feel so much more comfortable here in Serbia knowing that she is there for me. Like for example, I know if I got sick, she would come to the doctor with me. Or if I needed to talk, or when I have questions about language or culture or whatever…she is there for me. We both feel we can talk to each other about anything! This is a great feeling here as a foreigner!
The couple met in Belgrade, and fell in love. Had it not been for the war, they would have likely stayed here, but with a new baby and the streets growing increasingly dangerous and the city increasingly expensive, the couple and their baby boy returned in Crvenka in the 1990s.
Their son, now 19, is named Julius and he is definitely one of the coolest kids I’ve met here in Serbia. When I met him he was in high-school, had hair down to his waist and was the guitar player for a locally popular punk-band. At the same time, he’s smart, funny and really globally aware. He has just started university here in Belgrade a couple weeks ago, and now lives across the street from me so he and I get together for coffee a couple times a week.
OK, so that is a quick orientation of who they are. So, how I know them…
When I arrived last January, they were here waiting for me (as they are my landlords). We instantly liked each other and they were a huge help for me in getting settled. Each month when they would come to collect the rent, we would sit for a couple of hours, drink coffee and chat. Sometimes the whole family would come, sometimes just two of them. Their stories were so interesting and we came to find that we shared a similar worldview and held the same opinions and sympathies in a lot of areas. Soon they invited me to come and spent a weekend at their place in the village – Crvenka.
Well, as you might imagine, I saw myself as far too busy to take the time to go there and I was worried that I would feel uncomfortable in someone else’s house, etc. I had intended to go in spring, but things got really busy for me here in Belgrade, so before I left for my vacation in the USA, we made a plan for me to come for a visit the weekend immediately after my return to Belgrade…and so I did.
I had intended to stay for 2 nights and enjoyed myself so much that I stayed for 5 days! They are so laid back and so cool and we just sit for hours and talk and laugh! Meanwhile, all of their friends from the village come and go throughout the day and there are some really interesting characters!
Anyhow, after my first stay in Crvenka, I was surprised by how much I missed this family, and they missed me! I decided that I would go back for my birthday weekend. I had promised to make them an American meal. As the son had asked specifically for Sloppy Joes I made that with guacamole…and I was thrilled that it was such a hit! Since then I have been back every few weeks! Also, at Julius’s request I had a package sent to him from the USA with all sorts of American junkfood (cheese whiz, mac n cheese, pop tarts, Doritos, etc.). I also included in the package, since he and his friends love to play board games, a few good games – Uno, Phase 10, Othello and Settlers of Cattan.
So, when I am there in the village I really enjoy myself! One time we spent the weekend making rakia – the local home made brandy. The family has several types of pear trees in their yard and so twice a year they make rakia from the pears. It was sooo cool! One of the villagers brings over a huge distillery and the cooking of the pears begins about 7am. All the day the men work on making the rakia (and finishing off the last batch) as well as tending to the grill while the women make coffee and other such things. The air smelled so wonderful with the scent of these cooking pears! The next day the local expert comes over and tests the batch to be sure it is of the correct balance, and then it is ready for drinking! The funny thing about rakia in Serbia is that most families make some kind of rakia, every rakia maker thinks his is the very best, and everyone in the country thinks rakia is the cure for everything! A sore throat, a broken bone, you name it! Many older people have one shot of rakia in the morning and another before lunch! It can be made of all different kinds of fruit, but the ones from pears are my favorite. That is not to say that the flavor does not take some getting used to! The first taste is like gasoline! But you get used to it. And again, while people drink this stuff and all hours of the day, you rarely see anyone drunk!
Making Rakia
Another amazing thing about my visiting my adopted Serbo-family is the grandmother’s house. She has this amazing home, behind which is a huge vegetable garden. Behind that lies what is called a “summer kitchen,” which is like a second kitchen for cooking in hot weather so your home does not get too hot. Behind the summer kitchen is a sprawling and beautiful backyard. In this beautifully maintained yard is a series of small enclosures, each containing dozens of works of art as the family hosts a sort of artists’ retreat there several times of year. It is amazing! I immediately thought it would be an amazing place for a party, and last time I visited, as it was Caca’s birthday, we were able to do just that! A wonderful, fun party with friends and neighbors and a man with a guitar and another with some sort of Serbian banjo thingy, and amazing homemade food and beautiful cakes…such a warm and wonderful place!
Fountain in Backyard of Grandma's house
Sculpture in back garden of Grandma's house
View from back garden of Grandma's house
Path from Grandma's house to the "summer kitchen"
Family party in backyard of Grandma's house
Cakes from birthday party in backyard
Man with guitar and Serbian banjo at party
It’s hard to describe why I love going to spend time there so much. Part of it is that I love this family so much and we really get along wonderfully. Part of it is that I love the chance to see some of the traditions in this place. Part of it is the consistently wholesome, organic homemade meals! But I think a lot of why I love it so much is that I really love the values and community that underlie this family and their friends. It is so clear that relationships are so much more important than money, and people live simply. They care about their neighbors and friends and take time to enjoy life. This, more than anything else I have experienced here in Serbia, makes it very hard to leave.
Of all the things I love about Serbia and all the things I will miss, it is this family I will miss the most!
In Belgrade, being a big city, I had not really been able to see this part of Serbian culture, though I had heard and read much about it. In fact, I had begun to think of it as a myth! But with my Serbian family in Crvenka I have felt so welcome and so at home that every time I visit it is hard to leave!
So let me back up and explain a little bit… The parents, Aci & Caca, are in their 40s. Aci is an ethnically German Serb, descended from a group of protestant Germans that settled in Vojvodina in the 17th and 18th century. After the Second World War, many of these ethnic Germans were imprisoned and/or driven out of the region (regardless of whether they were aligned with the Nazis or not – and most of them were not), and those that remained were stripped of their land and possessions under communism. Their land and possessions were re-distributed, mostly to settlers from Montenegro. There are all kinds of mythic stories in the area about the ways the Montenegrin settlers reacted to the technological advancements they found in the ethnically-German homes in which they were resettled, including utter confusion about indoor plumbing, tiled floors and stone fireplaces, but it’s hard to tell what is stereotype and what is true. The stories claim that the Montenegrins that came to Vojvodina were mainly peasants who had lived in earthen homes with dirt floors and without plumbing, but again I cannot attest to that with certainty.
Anyhow, Aci, my Serbo-family patriarch, comes from the ethnic-Germans, and identifies somewhat as such, but really seems to have a much larger allegiance to Yugoslavia. Aci moved to Belgrade with his family (his mother a professor and his father a veterinarian) when he was beginning high-school, and his mentality is quite cosmopolitan. He then went to university here in Belgrade and then worked on movie sets through the 1980s as many international films were shot here during that time. He and I spend hours talking about current events, history, local and global politics…quiet certainly we have solved all the world’s problems over a bottle of whiskey about 30 times over ;-)
The matriarch, Caca, is from a Serbian-Montenegrin family. She also studied in Belgrade and went to university for Travel and Tourism. She now runs a lovely resort/hotel in the town that neighbors Crvenka – Kula. She and I have become very close friends. We talk on the phone several times a week and I feel so much more comfortable here in Serbia knowing that she is there for me. Like for example, I know if I got sick, she would come to the doctor with me. Or if I needed to talk, or when I have questions about language or culture or whatever…she is there for me. We both feel we can talk to each other about anything! This is a great feeling here as a foreigner!
The couple met in Belgrade, and fell in love. Had it not been for the war, they would have likely stayed here, but with a new baby and the streets growing increasingly dangerous and the city increasingly expensive, the couple and their baby boy returned in Crvenka in the 1990s.
Their son, now 19, is named Julius and he is definitely one of the coolest kids I’ve met here in Serbia. When I met him he was in high-school, had hair down to his waist and was the guitar player for a locally popular punk-band. At the same time, he’s smart, funny and really globally aware. He has just started university here in Belgrade a couple weeks ago, and now lives across the street from me so he and I get together for coffee a couple times a week.
OK, so that is a quick orientation of who they are. So, how I know them…
When I arrived last January, they were here waiting for me (as they are my landlords). We instantly liked each other and they were a huge help for me in getting settled. Each month when they would come to collect the rent, we would sit for a couple of hours, drink coffee and chat. Sometimes the whole family would come, sometimes just two of them. Their stories were so interesting and we came to find that we shared a similar worldview and held the same opinions and sympathies in a lot of areas. Soon they invited me to come and spent a weekend at their place in the village – Crvenka.
Well, as you might imagine, I saw myself as far too busy to take the time to go there and I was worried that I would feel uncomfortable in someone else’s house, etc. I had intended to go in spring, but things got really busy for me here in Belgrade, so before I left for my vacation in the USA, we made a plan for me to come for a visit the weekend immediately after my return to Belgrade…and so I did.
I had intended to stay for 2 nights and enjoyed myself so much that I stayed for 5 days! They are so laid back and so cool and we just sit for hours and talk and laugh! Meanwhile, all of their friends from the village come and go throughout the day and there are some really interesting characters!
Anyhow, after my first stay in Crvenka, I was surprised by how much I missed this family, and they missed me! I decided that I would go back for my birthday weekend. I had promised to make them an American meal. As the son had asked specifically for Sloppy Joes I made that with guacamole…and I was thrilled that it was such a hit! Since then I have been back every few weeks! Also, at Julius’s request I had a package sent to him from the USA with all sorts of American junkfood (cheese whiz, mac n cheese, pop tarts, Doritos, etc.). I also included in the package, since he and his friends love to play board games, a few good games – Uno, Phase 10, Othello and Settlers of Cattan.
So, when I am there in the village I really enjoy myself! One time we spent the weekend making rakia – the local home made brandy. The family has several types of pear trees in their yard and so twice a year they make rakia from the pears. It was sooo cool! One of the villagers brings over a huge distillery and the cooking of the pears begins about 7am. All the day the men work on making the rakia (and finishing off the last batch) as well as tending to the grill while the women make coffee and other such things. The air smelled so wonderful with the scent of these cooking pears! The next day the local expert comes over and tests the batch to be sure it is of the correct balance, and then it is ready for drinking! The funny thing about rakia in Serbia is that most families make some kind of rakia, every rakia maker thinks his is the very best, and everyone in the country thinks rakia is the cure for everything! A sore throat, a broken bone, you name it! Many older people have one shot of rakia in the morning and another before lunch! It can be made of all different kinds of fruit, but the ones from pears are my favorite. That is not to say that the flavor does not take some getting used to! The first taste is like gasoline! But you get used to it. And again, while people drink this stuff and all hours of the day, you rarely see anyone drunk!
Making Rakia
Another amazing thing about my visiting my adopted Serbo-family is the grandmother’s house. She has this amazing home, behind which is a huge vegetable garden. Behind that lies what is called a “summer kitchen,” which is like a second kitchen for cooking in hot weather so your home does not get too hot. Behind the summer kitchen is a sprawling and beautiful backyard. In this beautifully maintained yard is a series of small enclosures, each containing dozens of works of art as the family hosts a sort of artists’ retreat there several times of year. It is amazing! I immediately thought it would be an amazing place for a party, and last time I visited, as it was Caca’s birthday, we were able to do just that! A wonderful, fun party with friends and neighbors and a man with a guitar and another with some sort of Serbian banjo thingy, and amazing homemade food and beautiful cakes…such a warm and wonderful place!
Fountain in Backyard of Grandma's house
Sculpture in back garden of Grandma's house
View from back garden of Grandma's house 
Path from Grandma's house to the "summer kitchen"
Family party in backyard of Grandma's house
Cakes from birthday party in backyard
Man with guitar and Serbian banjo at partyIt’s hard to describe why I love going to spend time there so much. Part of it is that I love this family so much and we really get along wonderfully. Part of it is that I love the chance to see some of the traditions in this place. Part of it is the consistently wholesome, organic homemade meals! But I think a lot of why I love it so much is that I really love the values and community that underlie this family and their friends. It is so clear that relationships are so much more important than money, and people live simply. They care about their neighbors and friends and take time to enjoy life. This, more than anything else I have experienced here in Serbia, makes it very hard to leave.
Of all the things I love about Serbia and all the things I will miss, it is this family I will miss the most!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The terrorists have won: A Sad commentary on the state of freedom and human rights in Serbia...
Even more troubling than my own inner conflict on whether to attend tomorrow's PRIDE event in Belgrade, as of today the event was cancelled b/c of the extreme threat of violence and the fact that not even the police could guarantee the saftey of the participants.
It is a sad fucked-up thing that the Serbian government and general population would rather allow a few right wing extremists dictate the direction of the entire nation.
Everyone...every individual is responsible for creating the community and world they want to live in.
Yes...I was scared to participate, but I thought it was such an important moment. A moment so much larger than a commentary on gay rights. A moment where Serbian people had a chance to stand up and say that they wanted to live in a world with more possibilities...a world with a broader future. A world where civil discourse and debate creates civil society, not half-wit football hooligans and criminals with baseball bats and alcohol infused group-mentality machismo. Instead it seems that he who hath the bigger gun has won.
Here are a few articles about the opposition to the PRIDE.
http://sofiaecho.com/2009/09/17/786427_belgrade-pride-parade-is-sodom-and-gomorrah-says-serbian-orthodox-church
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2009/09/18/belgrades-pride-in-its-superheroes-here-they-come-to-save-the-gay/
http://www.b92.net/eng/news/politics-article.php?yyyy=2009&mm=09&dd=19&nav_id=61848
It is a sad fucked-up thing that the Serbian government and general population would rather allow a few right wing extremists dictate the direction of the entire nation.
Everyone...every individual is responsible for creating the community and world they want to live in.
Yes...I was scared to participate, but I thought it was such an important moment. A moment so much larger than a commentary on gay rights. A moment where Serbian people had a chance to stand up and say that they wanted to live in a world with more possibilities...a world with a broader future. A world where civil discourse and debate creates civil society, not half-wit football hooligans and criminals with baseball bats and alcohol infused group-mentality machismo. Instead it seems that he who hath the bigger gun has won.
Here are a few articles about the opposition to the PRIDE.
http://sofiaecho.com/2009/09/17/786427_belgrade-pride-parade-is-sodom-and-gomorrah-says-serbian-orthodox-church
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2009/09/18/belgrades-pride-in-its-superheroes-here-they-come-to-save-the-gay/
http://www.b92.net/eng/news/politics-article.php?yyyy=2009&mm=09&dd=19&nav_id=61848
Friday, September 18, 2009
PRIDE vs. "Nerf Life"... "Sittin' on your biscuit, never havin' to risk it": My quest to do the right thing...
Ugh! I have a consuming dilemma. So consuming that I have had a constant nagging headache for 3 days and I can’t sleep and every moment I am still I am ruminating. I am not sure I have ever felt so morally conflicted!
So Sunday is the Pride parade here in Belgrade. Now I have been an active gay rights activist in the USA for nearly 20 years, so on the surface it is a “no brainer” right? But here’s where it gets complicated…
The last time they tried to hold a Pride event in Belgrade it became horribly violent with the right-wing nut-jobs beating the demonstrators with bats, etc. Many ended up in the hospital and one nearly died. Fast forward to now…one would think from our own lifetime of experience that cultures progress, but that does not seem to be the reality of things in the world today.
Even in Budapest, where on several occasions in the last 10 years I have attended and enjoyed fun and festive Pride parades, this year’s event was marred by violence and several people I know personally were beaten bad enough to be put in the hospital.
But that is there…as far from me in Belgrade as Chicago is from New York.
OK, but much if not all of Europe (and maybe the world) seems to have an increasingly loud and violent far-right neo-Nazi-esque movement. And honestly, Serbia is the rule rather than the exception…I would even argue the “trend setters” in this capacity.
Here you have a country dripping with machismo, which a largely snickers at if not glorifies organized crime, where residual post-war travel restrictions in conjunction with post-war poverty have made it nearly impossible for Serbs to travel. Add to that a strange mytho-historical dominant discourse that is propagated unchallenged from kindergarten through adulthood and reinforced in media an pop-culture and as a result you have younger generations who seem increasingly myopic and small-minded.
People are getting ever more religious, girls are getting pregnant younger, young people are not finishing school, etc. All of these factors make for a certain population of angry, despondent, hopeless, uneducated youth who, while not truly ideological, are happy to unleash their anger on whatever they are pointed toward.
Now within this mish-mash you have a loud and prevalent national attitude toward homosexuality that at best views gay-ness as an illness and at worst a sub-human perversity against nature which should be wiped off the planet. All of this makes for a pretty scary and aggressive right-wing movement – to say the least. One that makes O’Reilly and Glen Beck look like banal toothless kittens, Ann Coulter & Sarah Palin look like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Clever, and Dick Cheney look like a doddering old fool!
So….like I said, I have actively worked for gay rights in the USA since I was like 17 or 18. Naturally it would make sense that I would support the Pride activities here in Belgrade. After all most people I know who are progressively minded are participating, and the cause is something I totally believe in. And quite honestly, most people here, even if they believe homosexuality to be a sin or an illness, they still do not want to kill gay people. But the problem is that loud, vocal and violent minority – which is not actually a small number!
As the Pride events draw closer, these groups have organized an equally public campaign for a counter-protest and have openly promised to be violent and aggressive toward both the Pride demonstrators and the police. I have heard promises of baseball bats, oranges stuffed with razor blades, gang rape, tear gas and other unspeakable horrors. They are advertising in the newspapers, on the internet and through graffiti in the streets.
Now, the president here has promised thousands of police and most politicians, even if not in open support of the GLBT community, have voiced support of their right to demonstrate. Further, a large community of artists, journalists, actors and other public personalities have been very public and open about their support.
Still, this violent opposition seems very well organized, and who knows what the police will actually do when it comes down to it.
Will they protect the GLBT supportive demonstrators? Will they use live ammunition if necessary? (In that case I can only think of Kent State in the 60s – who knows who will get hit). Will they step aside and let the right wingers attack?
At the same time, how can I even question my participation? I mean it is easy to sit home in the USA and state that I support (or don’t support) something when the worst I can expect is some harshly wounding words. But when it really counts, when it really matters, when there is a real risk, shouldn’t it be more important to stand up for my beliefs? Shouldn’t it be more important to turn-out when there is a real threat to the values I hold dear – people’s right to live free from the physical fear of violent death? It is reminiscent of the US Civil Rights Movement when people really took their lives into their hands to advocate for justice and equality. And if it wasn’t for those people, just imagine what our country would look like now.
Still there is the argument that this is not actually my country. And then there is the fact that I actually need my full brain for my living. And honestly I am really scared…maybe more scared than I have ever been. I can’t sleep. My head aches for 3 days now…like a mouse is in my skull eating away at my brain. My conscience tells me that to demonstrate is the right thing. It is a human rights issue. It is dear to my heart. And quite honestly, with no kids and no husband, I am actually exactly the person who should be out there. But the fear is like nothing I have ever felt.
I also believe that each individual is responsible for creating the society that s/he wants to live in…that we are all responsible for what our communities and by extension our world looks like. You can pick up your feet and go with the current, but then you are really just a cog in the machine. A leaf on the wind. If not you, then who? If not now, then when?
ARGH! I am so conflicted! I keep going back and forth between deciding that I am going no matter what and hoping I come down with a horrible fever. This may seriously be the most conflicted I have ever felt. I know what the right thing to do is, but I am selfishly afraid to do it. Afraid to risk my one stupid precious self for the greater good. A braver person would not be in conflict! A braver person would be able to commit to the fact that no individual is greater than the collective good.
You know, I talk to my students about this a lot. Each of us imagines that we would have been the one to have saved our Jewish neighbor during the Holocaust. Or that we would be the one to have stood up against Apartheid in South Africa. In fact, if you are American and you are old enough, you may have even taken part in anti-Apartheid actions in the USA. Oh how easy and black-and-white things seem from far away. From far away the RIGHT and WRONG choices are so easy to see, and we all imagine that we would have been able to see it, and would easily have been strong enough to do the right thing.
Well…sorry to burst your bubble, but the truth is, 99% of us would not have stood up and risked ourselves to save the Jewish neighbor. Genocide is not made possible by the tiny percentage of people who actually engage in violence - it is made possible by the majority of people who look the other way...the bystanders who are too afraid or too selfish to or too stupid to think for themselves!
And while for most of us, the betrayal of our Jewish neighbor would have been simply self preservation, many would even have bought into Nazi ideology to rationalize their ugly choice! (We would have bought into the argument that Sadaam had Weapons of Mass Destruction for example, and that our government always has our best interest in mind).
I mean think of the Stanley Milgram experiments people! (If you don't know about it...look it up!) I think like only one person refused…and he was a Dutch guy that learned certain lessons from WWII.
Seriously…our self-preservation mechanism is sooo strong! Ever tried to wax your own bikini area or pluck out your nose hairs? Some people can do it no problem. Most…well after the first few strips their arms will no longer obey their brain…they just cannot inflict any more pain on themselves.
So at this point my thinking is that I am going to go to the demonstration…but I am going to wear running shoes! I wish I had a helmet and pepper spray, but I don’t. I want to bring a sock full of rocks to swing just in case or a mini-hair-spray with a lighter to fashion a blow-torch, but since I am going as part of an anti-militarist peace organization, I am not sure that would go over very well.
But here’s the naked truth…it is Friday night and I cannot guarantee that I won’t change my mind by Sunday morning. I also cannot guarantee that I won’t pee my pants and run away in fear once I get there.
On the other hand…they cannot possibly beat all of us down, and how can I pursue the things I care about and write about if I am not willing to live it – to live what I believe. How can I live a “nerf life” just “sittin’ on your biscuit, never having to risk it” and still advocate for larger global social justice if I am not willing to put myself out there for something I believe in?
Why should I be safe and fat and happy and live in my little McDonalds/Walmart bubble while others are suffering just b/c I had the fortune of being born in a certain place? Why should my life and safety (or any one person’s life or safety) matter more than anyone else’s? “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or the one”… right? “No one is free until all are free”…right? It may not be my country, but we are all human and I am living here…I am alive here…and I owe a debt to my principles if not to my host nation, right?
So that is the dilemma – risk my biscuit for what I believe in and perhaps get hurt…or stay safe at home and hate myself for being weak…for basically being the person who turned my Jewish neighbor over to the Nazis.
What would you do?
So Sunday is the Pride parade here in Belgrade. Now I have been an active gay rights activist in the USA for nearly 20 years, so on the surface it is a “no brainer” right? But here’s where it gets complicated…
The last time they tried to hold a Pride event in Belgrade it became horribly violent with the right-wing nut-jobs beating the demonstrators with bats, etc. Many ended up in the hospital and one nearly died. Fast forward to now…one would think from our own lifetime of experience that cultures progress, but that does not seem to be the reality of things in the world today.
Even in Budapest, where on several occasions in the last 10 years I have attended and enjoyed fun and festive Pride parades, this year’s event was marred by violence and several people I know personally were beaten bad enough to be put in the hospital.
But that is there…as far from me in Belgrade as Chicago is from New York.
OK, but much if not all of Europe (and maybe the world) seems to have an increasingly loud and violent far-right neo-Nazi-esque movement. And honestly, Serbia is the rule rather than the exception…I would even argue the “trend setters” in this capacity.
Here you have a country dripping with machismo, which a largely snickers at if not glorifies organized crime, where residual post-war travel restrictions in conjunction with post-war poverty have made it nearly impossible for Serbs to travel. Add to that a strange mytho-historical dominant discourse that is propagated unchallenged from kindergarten through adulthood and reinforced in media an pop-culture and as a result you have younger generations who seem increasingly myopic and small-minded.
People are getting ever more religious, girls are getting pregnant younger, young people are not finishing school, etc. All of these factors make for a certain population of angry, despondent, hopeless, uneducated youth who, while not truly ideological, are happy to unleash their anger on whatever they are pointed toward.
Now within this mish-mash you have a loud and prevalent national attitude toward homosexuality that at best views gay-ness as an illness and at worst a sub-human perversity against nature which should be wiped off the planet. All of this makes for a pretty scary and aggressive right-wing movement – to say the least. One that makes O’Reilly and Glen Beck look like banal toothless kittens, Ann Coulter & Sarah Palin look like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Clever, and Dick Cheney look like a doddering old fool!
So….like I said, I have actively worked for gay rights in the USA since I was like 17 or 18. Naturally it would make sense that I would support the Pride activities here in Belgrade. After all most people I know who are progressively minded are participating, and the cause is something I totally believe in. And quite honestly, most people here, even if they believe homosexuality to be a sin or an illness, they still do not want to kill gay people. But the problem is that loud, vocal and violent minority – which is not actually a small number!
As the Pride events draw closer, these groups have organized an equally public campaign for a counter-protest and have openly promised to be violent and aggressive toward both the Pride demonstrators and the police. I have heard promises of baseball bats, oranges stuffed with razor blades, gang rape, tear gas and other unspeakable horrors. They are advertising in the newspapers, on the internet and through graffiti in the streets.
Now, the president here has promised thousands of police and most politicians, even if not in open support of the GLBT community, have voiced support of their right to demonstrate. Further, a large community of artists, journalists, actors and other public personalities have been very public and open about their support.
Still, this violent opposition seems very well organized, and who knows what the police will actually do when it comes down to it.
Will they protect the GLBT supportive demonstrators? Will they use live ammunition if necessary? (In that case I can only think of Kent State in the 60s – who knows who will get hit). Will they step aside and let the right wingers attack?
At the same time, how can I even question my participation? I mean it is easy to sit home in the USA and state that I support (or don’t support) something when the worst I can expect is some harshly wounding words. But when it really counts, when it really matters, when there is a real risk, shouldn’t it be more important to stand up for my beliefs? Shouldn’t it be more important to turn-out when there is a real threat to the values I hold dear – people’s right to live free from the physical fear of violent death? It is reminiscent of the US Civil Rights Movement when people really took their lives into their hands to advocate for justice and equality. And if it wasn’t for those people, just imagine what our country would look like now.
Still there is the argument that this is not actually my country. And then there is the fact that I actually need my full brain for my living. And honestly I am really scared…maybe more scared than I have ever been. I can’t sleep. My head aches for 3 days now…like a mouse is in my skull eating away at my brain. My conscience tells me that to demonstrate is the right thing. It is a human rights issue. It is dear to my heart. And quite honestly, with no kids and no husband, I am actually exactly the person who should be out there. But the fear is like nothing I have ever felt.
I also believe that each individual is responsible for creating the society that s/he wants to live in…that we are all responsible for what our communities and by extension our world looks like. You can pick up your feet and go with the current, but then you are really just a cog in the machine. A leaf on the wind. If not you, then who? If not now, then when?
ARGH! I am so conflicted! I keep going back and forth between deciding that I am going no matter what and hoping I come down with a horrible fever. This may seriously be the most conflicted I have ever felt. I know what the right thing to do is, but I am selfishly afraid to do it. Afraid to risk my one stupid precious self for the greater good. A braver person would not be in conflict! A braver person would be able to commit to the fact that no individual is greater than the collective good.
You know, I talk to my students about this a lot. Each of us imagines that we would have been the one to have saved our Jewish neighbor during the Holocaust. Or that we would be the one to have stood up against Apartheid in South Africa. In fact, if you are American and you are old enough, you may have even taken part in anti-Apartheid actions in the USA. Oh how easy and black-and-white things seem from far away. From far away the RIGHT and WRONG choices are so easy to see, and we all imagine that we would have been able to see it, and would easily have been strong enough to do the right thing.
Well…sorry to burst your bubble, but the truth is, 99% of us would not have stood up and risked ourselves to save the Jewish neighbor. Genocide is not made possible by the tiny percentage of people who actually engage in violence - it is made possible by the majority of people who look the other way...the bystanders who are too afraid or too selfish to or too stupid to think for themselves!
And while for most of us, the betrayal of our Jewish neighbor would have been simply self preservation, many would even have bought into Nazi ideology to rationalize their ugly choice! (We would have bought into the argument that Sadaam had Weapons of Mass Destruction for example, and that our government always has our best interest in mind).
I mean think of the Stanley Milgram experiments people! (If you don't know about it...look it up!) I think like only one person refused…and he was a Dutch guy that learned certain lessons from WWII.
Seriously…our self-preservation mechanism is sooo strong! Ever tried to wax your own bikini area or pluck out your nose hairs? Some people can do it no problem. Most…well after the first few strips their arms will no longer obey their brain…they just cannot inflict any more pain on themselves.
So at this point my thinking is that I am going to go to the demonstration…but I am going to wear running shoes! I wish I had a helmet and pepper spray, but I don’t. I want to bring a sock full of rocks to swing just in case or a mini-hair-spray with a lighter to fashion a blow-torch, but since I am going as part of an anti-militarist peace organization, I am not sure that would go over very well.
But here’s the naked truth…it is Friday night and I cannot guarantee that I won’t change my mind by Sunday morning. I also cannot guarantee that I won’t pee my pants and run away in fear once I get there.
On the other hand…they cannot possibly beat all of us down, and how can I pursue the things I care about and write about if I am not willing to live it – to live what I believe. How can I live a “nerf life” just “sittin’ on your biscuit, never having to risk it” and still advocate for larger global social justice if I am not willing to put myself out there for something I believe in?
Why should I be safe and fat and happy and live in my little McDonalds/Walmart bubble while others are suffering just b/c I had the fortune of being born in a certain place? Why should my life and safety (or any one person’s life or safety) matter more than anyone else’s? “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or the one”… right? “No one is free until all are free”…right? It may not be my country, but we are all human and I am living here…I am alive here…and I owe a debt to my principles if not to my host nation, right?
So that is the dilemma – risk my biscuit for what I believe in and perhaps get hurt…or stay safe at home and hate myself for being weak…for basically being the person who turned my Jewish neighbor over to the Nazis.
What would you do?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Back in Serbia...
So…this is it! I have arrived back in Serbia and am here until late December. While here I will teach a graduate course in American Studies (on the Civil Rights Movement), will teach in the Women’s Studies Center and will continue my work with WiB. I will also work on the book.
Then, I go back to the US for Spring semester. Teach at my university there in NJ for the term. And plan to then return to Serbia for the 15th anniversary of the Srebrenica massacre – so I hope to be here from mid-May through mid-July. Then I will feel like I have really completed what I started here.
After that – I will come back to USA, teach in NJ for another year and then take stock again. Will I stay at this job? Will I apply for another academic job in a place I’d rather live? Or will I try to get a job with the UN or some other international organization? It all remains to be seen!
But for the short-term – well, I finally went to the north of Serbia, in the province of Vojvodina to visit the family of my landlords in a small town called Crvenka (pop. 10,000). I had been invited since I first got here in January, but had been putting it off b/c I thought I had too much to do here in Belgrade. Well, the truth is that this trip was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time!
They are a perfectly wonderful family first of all! After the first day I felt completely at home! The husband and wife are in their late 40s and their son in a teenager – about to start university in fall. Mostly we hung out at their place, out on their porch, and all the day long friends would stop by for a coffee and a chat. It was so cozy and warm and wonderful! It was great to have healthy home cooked meals. It was great to hang out and debate politics and ideas. It was a great chance to practice my language as many of their friends do not speak English. And I felt so welcomed that when I left I actually felt sad and missed them!
Their home is modest, but full of warmth. In their backyard are tons of fruit trees so there is always fresh peaches, pears and plums on the table (and he uses the rest to make rakia – the local liquor). Then, as neighbors stop by, they all bring other things from their gardens! Wonderful!
When I first arrived I planned to stay only 3 days, but I ended up staying 5 days, partly b/c they were having a BBQ for me on day 4. It was so awesome! Such fresh meat and veggies and so many wonderful people.
The whole experience reminded me that I really love living in a place with community. I prefer smaller towns to big cities and I love being able to walk everywhere and to know so many people in your community.
They are coming here at the end of this week, and I am having them over to dinner for my b-day. I might then go back to Crvenka with them for a few days…we’ll see.
Then, next weekend, I am going to Istanbul! I have never been before. I am excited! Going with my old friend “A” and we are staying with another friend of hers from university. Woo-Hoo!
OK…that is all I can manage to write today. I have made many posts today…all in the interest of catching up and I can hardly think now. Hope to keep up blog better now that I am back again in Serbia.
Thanks for reading…
Xina
Then, I go back to the US for Spring semester. Teach at my university there in NJ for the term. And plan to then return to Serbia for the 15th anniversary of the Srebrenica massacre – so I hope to be here from mid-May through mid-July. Then I will feel like I have really completed what I started here.
After that – I will come back to USA, teach in NJ for another year and then take stock again. Will I stay at this job? Will I apply for another academic job in a place I’d rather live? Or will I try to get a job with the UN or some other international organization? It all remains to be seen!
But for the short-term – well, I finally went to the north of Serbia, in the province of Vojvodina to visit the family of my landlords in a small town called Crvenka (pop. 10,000). I had been invited since I first got here in January, but had been putting it off b/c I thought I had too much to do here in Belgrade. Well, the truth is that this trip was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time!
They are a perfectly wonderful family first of all! After the first day I felt completely at home! The husband and wife are in their late 40s and their son in a teenager – about to start university in fall. Mostly we hung out at their place, out on their porch, and all the day long friends would stop by for a coffee and a chat. It was so cozy and warm and wonderful! It was great to have healthy home cooked meals. It was great to hang out and debate politics and ideas. It was a great chance to practice my language as many of their friends do not speak English. And I felt so welcomed that when I left I actually felt sad and missed them!
Their home is modest, but full of warmth. In their backyard are tons of fruit trees so there is always fresh peaches, pears and plums on the table (and he uses the rest to make rakia – the local liquor). Then, as neighbors stop by, they all bring other things from their gardens! Wonderful!
When I first arrived I planned to stay only 3 days, but I ended up staying 5 days, partly b/c they were having a BBQ for me on day 4. It was so awesome! Such fresh meat and veggies and so many wonderful people.
The whole experience reminded me that I really love living in a place with community. I prefer smaller towns to big cities and I love being able to walk everywhere and to know so many people in your community.
They are coming here at the end of this week, and I am having them over to dinner for my b-day. I might then go back to Crvenka with them for a few days…we’ll see.
Then, next weekend, I am going to Istanbul! I have never been before. I am excited! Going with my old friend “A” and we are staying with another friend of hers from university. Woo-Hoo!
OK…that is all I can manage to write today. I have made many posts today…all in the interest of catching up and I can hardly think now. Hope to keep up blog better now that I am back again in Serbia.
Thanks for reading…
Xina
taking stock as my next birthday approaches...
So living a somewhat multi-national life has made me feel like I am in the show “Quantum Leap.” I jump from one existence to the next at a moment’s notice and feel disoriented and imbalanced for the first little bit! But all of this has given me some time to think about some things…
So I am turning 36 next week. YUCK! It is hard to even write it down! What does it mean? How do I measure up? What do I still want to do? Just generally taking stock.
I have realized that there are a lot of things about my life that I am very happy about. I have really great friends all over the world! I have a career that I love and that I am truly passionate about. I am an independent thinker who may be financially solvent for the first time ever! I have travelled to many places in the US and abroad. Basically, when I look back over my life I have to say that I have largely done what I have wanted when I have wanted.
Now this does not mean I have been able to do everything I want – often I have been faced with choices and taking one path means abandoning the other. But it does mean that largely I have made this life my own – sometimes inside and sometimes outside the boundaries of societal expectations. And while this has also meant that I have made many mistakes in my life, I think that I am not one of those “old soul” people who are inherently wise and make well-considered choices. I am impulsive and have often had to learn things the hard way! This also means I am tenacious, and rarely hear the word “NO” as a definitive roadblock. I embrace challenges and look for solutions. I speak my mind and am not afraid to argue a point. I stick up for people who may be “weak” when I see they are in unfair situations. I am generally adventurous and adaptable.
All things I am happy with.
Now…as I take stock of my 36 years, there are also things that I am not so happy with. I find it hard to say “no” to people, or to hurt people’s feelings so I often practice avoidance. I am easily influenced to indulge my proclivities (drinking, smoking, eating crap, skipping exercise). I am overly critical of myself and sometimes of others. I often think emotionally rather than rationally. I let other people’s opinions sway my decisions too much. I am not always as sensitive to others as I should be, and am a bit self-centered.
And as I look at my turning 36 I realize that there are some things I still want out of life and some things I want to work to change in the coming year…
1st – I think it would be great to be able to buy a house or a condo! (I think this will happen either in a year or so if I decide to stay at my current job or will happen whenever/wherever I take my next job)
2nd – I would really like to get a dog – and I think I want a foxy little Pomeranian! (will happen when I get a house)
3rd – I vow to get back in shape! This is not such a far fetched task. It was only 3 years ago that I was actually quite fit and healthy. So really I just need to get back in control of my exercise and eating habits. (already starting now! Began vegan detox diet and daily exercise. This is Phase 1. Really trying to stick with it. I hate feeling unhealthy and flabby! But they say “muscle never forgets” so I am hoping that some healthy eating and exercise now and then some concentrated gym time when I get back to USA should get me where I need to be by next summer!)
4th – I want to live somewhere that I really WANT to live! I have put this off over and over again. If I stay at my current job, I think I need to move to Phillie – I need human contact and community! Otherwise, if I seek a different job, I WILL live somewhere I really want to live – either somewhere warm, somewhere in Europe OR at least somewhere with a sense of community.
5th – When I get back to the US, I want to make all the numerous doctor appointments I have been putting off – allergist, dermatologist, and therapist! Especially therapist. I think a few months of therapy could be a good thing for any adult.
SO I guess this is all rambling, but I feel like if I write it down I am somewhat committed to it. Self improvement! Being a better ME.
Thanks for reading.
Until next time…
Xina
So I am turning 36 next week. YUCK! It is hard to even write it down! What does it mean? How do I measure up? What do I still want to do? Just generally taking stock.
I have realized that there are a lot of things about my life that I am very happy about. I have really great friends all over the world! I have a career that I love and that I am truly passionate about. I am an independent thinker who may be financially solvent for the first time ever! I have travelled to many places in the US and abroad. Basically, when I look back over my life I have to say that I have largely done what I have wanted when I have wanted.
Now this does not mean I have been able to do everything I want – often I have been faced with choices and taking one path means abandoning the other. But it does mean that largely I have made this life my own – sometimes inside and sometimes outside the boundaries of societal expectations. And while this has also meant that I have made many mistakes in my life, I think that I am not one of those “old soul” people who are inherently wise and make well-considered choices. I am impulsive and have often had to learn things the hard way! This also means I am tenacious, and rarely hear the word “NO” as a definitive roadblock. I embrace challenges and look for solutions. I speak my mind and am not afraid to argue a point. I stick up for people who may be “weak” when I see they are in unfair situations. I am generally adventurous and adaptable.
All things I am happy with.
Now…as I take stock of my 36 years, there are also things that I am not so happy with. I find it hard to say “no” to people, or to hurt people’s feelings so I often practice avoidance. I am easily influenced to indulge my proclivities (drinking, smoking, eating crap, skipping exercise). I am overly critical of myself and sometimes of others. I often think emotionally rather than rationally. I let other people’s opinions sway my decisions too much. I am not always as sensitive to others as I should be, and am a bit self-centered.
And as I look at my turning 36 I realize that there are some things I still want out of life and some things I want to work to change in the coming year…
1st – I think it would be great to be able to buy a house or a condo! (I think this will happen either in a year or so if I decide to stay at my current job or will happen whenever/wherever I take my next job)
2nd – I would really like to get a dog – and I think I want a foxy little Pomeranian! (will happen when I get a house)
3rd – I vow to get back in shape! This is not such a far fetched task. It was only 3 years ago that I was actually quite fit and healthy. So really I just need to get back in control of my exercise and eating habits. (already starting now! Began vegan detox diet and daily exercise. This is Phase 1. Really trying to stick with it. I hate feeling unhealthy and flabby! But they say “muscle never forgets” so I am hoping that some healthy eating and exercise now and then some concentrated gym time when I get back to USA should get me where I need to be by next summer!)
4th – I want to live somewhere that I really WANT to live! I have put this off over and over again. If I stay at my current job, I think I need to move to Phillie – I need human contact and community! Otherwise, if I seek a different job, I WILL live somewhere I really want to live – either somewhere warm, somewhere in Europe OR at least somewhere with a sense of community.
5th – When I get back to the US, I want to make all the numerous doctor appointments I have been putting off – allergist, dermatologist, and therapist! Especially therapist. I think a few months of therapy could be a good thing for any adult.
SO I guess this is all rambling, but I feel like if I write it down I am somewhat committed to it. Self improvement! Being a better ME.
Thanks for reading.
Until next time…
Xina
My summer holiday at the Jersey Shore...
After the trip to Eastern Serbia I had two days to pack and clean my house. I was scheduled to leave for a month holiday in the USA right away. The last 6 weeks here in Serbia had been an intense whirlwind, but I loved every minute of it and had gotten so involved in my work here that I almost didn’t want to go home! Still, the thought of being at the beach for a month did sound enticing!
When in the US I live on an island near Atlantic City, so in the summer it is something of a genuine pleasure! I ride my bike around the island, jog on the beach and swim in the ocean. Now you may have heard a lot of things about the Jersey Shore, and some may be exaggerations, some may be truth. Not being from the region originally myself I feel like I get an outsiders view of things here!
So, I have no idea what the North Jersey Shore towns are like. Basically the island I live on is sort of like the first point on the South Jersey Shore. Each of the shore towns has its own personality. The place where I live is more like a nature beach and is family oriented. No boardwalk. Only a couple bars (though 2 of them are open 24 hrs!) Just a few restaurants. A golf course. A huge marshland that is a protected bird sanctuary. And while there are a lot of families and summer folks, during the year the island is mostly populated by fisherman, casino workers and families that have lived on the island for generations. In winter the place is a ghost town – which has its benefits and drawbacks!
Then you have Atlantic City, which is lots of fun when you have guests but is not really like a cultural center or anything. The beach there is kind of trashy. You see a lot of sad people – drug addicts, gambling addicts, and the like. But, all that said, AC is not as trashy as people think. The boardwalk is pretty cool. Rides, games, shops, bars, restaurants and “massage parlors.” You also have a beautiful elitist mega-mall, and really a lot of shows and attractions in general. Like I said – it is a great place when you have guests. Very entertaining! But not such a fun city on your own. It’s not as if they have a 1st Friday gallery hop or anything!
After AC you have Margate & Ventor. From what I can tell, these are the spots where very wealthy people live. Amazing houses. Clean beaches. Some good restaurants. But it also seems that Ventnor has a somewhat significant year-round population. Margate is famous for this huge plaster elephant that is like 100 years old or something called “Lucy the Elephant.”
Now after this I get a little confused about the order, and I may leave a few out here, but I think next you have Somer’s Point. I have not spent a lot of time here, but I get the impression that it is a place that is fun for people in their 30s and 40s – like Yuppies perhaps? I could be wrong.
Then Ocean City. This is the kid-oriented beach town. Huge boardwalk with put-put, games, junk food, rides, etc. This is a dry town and there are no bars. Instead, there is a lot of activities throughout the community planned for kids each day and it seems to be quite safe.
Then you have Avalon and Stone Harbor which seem to be for those people who are too old for the wild “spring break” kind of party, but still like to have fun – maybe late 20s and 30s maybe even into 40s.
Next is Wildwood. Now this place is the PARTY Spring Break style type of place. It caters to the barely legal. The boardwalk here, aside from games, rides and junkfood, seems to be a cruising place for picking up people of the opposite sex. From what I can tell, this place would have been awesome to be when I was between 18 – 25, but now I think it is kind of gross. It’s OK during the day, and in North Wildwood there are some good places to eat and drink.
Finally, there is the crowning jewel of the south Jersey Shore – Cape May! This is known for its beautiful old Victorian homes, its sophisticated beauty and its old money residents. It is also known to be a favorite spot of sophisticated gay couples and has further become THE place for straight couples from throughout the region to hold their weddings.
OK…so there is your shore orientation. From the perspective of an outsider.
Now, when I moved there it was to be close to my NJ job, and I am close. In the summer it is a great place to live, but in the winter there is, if you will pardon my language, exactly fuck-all to do there! BUT – since I pay rent for the place and had a month off of work here in Serbia, I was anxious to get some summer use out of the place.
So, what was my trip like?
Week 1 was spent largely at the beach. I had lent my car to PC, so I was biking and walking everywhere and was generally re-orienting myself. One really fun thing for this vacation was that PC had recently inherited a 1980s red convertible corvette – complete with HUGE orange and white flames all over the hood! This was a fun car to have at the shore. PC came down basically every time he had days off and we would pick a shore destination and drive. The car is fun. Little kids look and point and think it is “bad ass” while I am pretty sure that adults look at us in that car and think “What an asshole!” But whatever! I’ve always wanted a convertible and what better place to have one than at the beach for the summer!
Other than lots of fun days driving, eating and drinking with PC, I had several other visitors including my good friend “A.” We had a wonderful time! Riding bikes, walking on the beach, sitting in the sun on my back deck and playing games. It was a really special time in fact b/c “A” and I are celebrating our 10 yr. friendship anniversary! And while we regularly see each other while both in the country, it had been a while since we had some one-on-one time – so AWESOME!
My cousin “AB” also came for a visit. She had come last year as well and we had such a great time that we decided to try to make it an annual thing. She and I were best of friends when we were growing up, but since we are adults – she with a family and me with a travel intensive job – we do not get as much time together as we would like these days so it is super fun to hang out! We spent some time in AC, did some light gambling (in fact, she won like $300 on penny slots from a mere $10!). We went to see a rip-off of Cirque de Soleil (which was still pretty cool), and one afternoon we rented a boat with PC and went crabbing in the bay.
Now a boat on the bay and a day crabbing sounds awesome in theory, but in practice…well for me it was a somewhat difficult day. Oh, don’t get me wrong…I loved the boat and the crabbing. The problem was the greenhead flies! These huge nasty biting flies breed most aggressively in the salty marshland of my island. They feed on the blood of humans and warm blooded animals. Their bites are painful, like a cigarette burn, because they have a crude slicing implement similar to tiny scissors. I am allergic to their bites and one will swell to the size of a quarter, itch like mad, and last for 2 weeks. Well, for some reason, on that boat on that day, these stupid flies made a meal out of me! By the time we got home I had easily 40+ bites and was intensely uncomfortable for the next few days! YUCK!
But overall I had a really fantastic time with my cousin’s visit and I am excited for her visit next year! As I drove her to the airport on that last day, we stopped in Phillie for lunch as I had been craving tex-mex and guacamole for like 6 months! This was the perfect ending to a wonderful time together.
Also while home in NJ I went to visit my family in Cleveland for a long weekend. The time was action packed! We went to a comedy show, had a BBQ party, did some shopping and visiting and then it was pretty much time for me to go home. It was great to see everyone and we had a lot of fun. I do regret I could not spend more time there and especially that I was too busy with family to actually see any friends. Maybe over xmas!
After getting back from the CLE I went and spent 4 days in Phillie – hanging out with “A” and “Em” and helping “Em” move – again! This time a permanent move to North Carolina. Sad for me, but great for her!
The last few days of my visit I spent at the beach and with PC.
In all it just flew by! And now I am back in Belgrade and I am glad to be back. I am trying to make the most of it b/c I know it will be over before I know it!
Well anyhow…thanks for reading…
Until next time…
Xina
When in the US I live on an island near Atlantic City, so in the summer it is something of a genuine pleasure! I ride my bike around the island, jog on the beach and swim in the ocean. Now you may have heard a lot of things about the Jersey Shore, and some may be exaggerations, some may be truth. Not being from the region originally myself I feel like I get an outsiders view of things here!
So, I have no idea what the North Jersey Shore towns are like. Basically the island I live on is sort of like the first point on the South Jersey Shore. Each of the shore towns has its own personality. The place where I live is more like a nature beach and is family oriented. No boardwalk. Only a couple bars (though 2 of them are open 24 hrs!) Just a few restaurants. A golf course. A huge marshland that is a protected bird sanctuary. And while there are a lot of families and summer folks, during the year the island is mostly populated by fisherman, casino workers and families that have lived on the island for generations. In winter the place is a ghost town – which has its benefits and drawbacks!
Then you have Atlantic City, which is lots of fun when you have guests but is not really like a cultural center or anything. The beach there is kind of trashy. You see a lot of sad people – drug addicts, gambling addicts, and the like. But, all that said, AC is not as trashy as people think. The boardwalk is pretty cool. Rides, games, shops, bars, restaurants and “massage parlors.” You also have a beautiful elitist mega-mall, and really a lot of shows and attractions in general. Like I said – it is a great place when you have guests. Very entertaining! But not such a fun city on your own. It’s not as if they have a 1st Friday gallery hop or anything!
After AC you have Margate & Ventor. From what I can tell, these are the spots where very wealthy people live. Amazing houses. Clean beaches. Some good restaurants. But it also seems that Ventnor has a somewhat significant year-round population. Margate is famous for this huge plaster elephant that is like 100 years old or something called “Lucy the Elephant.”
Now after this I get a little confused about the order, and I may leave a few out here, but I think next you have Somer’s Point. I have not spent a lot of time here, but I get the impression that it is a place that is fun for people in their 30s and 40s – like Yuppies perhaps? I could be wrong.
Then Ocean City. This is the kid-oriented beach town. Huge boardwalk with put-put, games, junk food, rides, etc. This is a dry town and there are no bars. Instead, there is a lot of activities throughout the community planned for kids each day and it seems to be quite safe.
Then you have Avalon and Stone Harbor which seem to be for those people who are too old for the wild “spring break” kind of party, but still like to have fun – maybe late 20s and 30s maybe even into 40s.
Next is Wildwood. Now this place is the PARTY Spring Break style type of place. It caters to the barely legal. The boardwalk here, aside from games, rides and junkfood, seems to be a cruising place for picking up people of the opposite sex. From what I can tell, this place would have been awesome to be when I was between 18 – 25, but now I think it is kind of gross. It’s OK during the day, and in North Wildwood there are some good places to eat and drink.
Finally, there is the crowning jewel of the south Jersey Shore – Cape May! This is known for its beautiful old Victorian homes, its sophisticated beauty and its old money residents. It is also known to be a favorite spot of sophisticated gay couples and has further become THE place for straight couples from throughout the region to hold their weddings.
OK…so there is your shore orientation. From the perspective of an outsider.
Now, when I moved there it was to be close to my NJ job, and I am close. In the summer it is a great place to live, but in the winter there is, if you will pardon my language, exactly fuck-all to do there! BUT – since I pay rent for the place and had a month off of work here in Serbia, I was anxious to get some summer use out of the place.
So, what was my trip like?
Week 1 was spent largely at the beach. I had lent my car to PC, so I was biking and walking everywhere and was generally re-orienting myself. One really fun thing for this vacation was that PC had recently inherited a 1980s red convertible corvette – complete with HUGE orange and white flames all over the hood! This was a fun car to have at the shore. PC came down basically every time he had days off and we would pick a shore destination and drive. The car is fun. Little kids look and point and think it is “bad ass” while I am pretty sure that adults look at us in that car and think “What an asshole!” But whatever! I’ve always wanted a convertible and what better place to have one than at the beach for the summer!
Other than lots of fun days driving, eating and drinking with PC, I had several other visitors including my good friend “A.” We had a wonderful time! Riding bikes, walking on the beach, sitting in the sun on my back deck and playing games. It was a really special time in fact b/c “A” and I are celebrating our 10 yr. friendship anniversary! And while we regularly see each other while both in the country, it had been a while since we had some one-on-one time – so AWESOME!
My cousin “AB” also came for a visit. She had come last year as well and we had such a great time that we decided to try to make it an annual thing. She and I were best of friends when we were growing up, but since we are adults – she with a family and me with a travel intensive job – we do not get as much time together as we would like these days so it is super fun to hang out! We spent some time in AC, did some light gambling (in fact, she won like $300 on penny slots from a mere $10!). We went to see a rip-off of Cirque de Soleil (which was still pretty cool), and one afternoon we rented a boat with PC and went crabbing in the bay.
Now a boat on the bay and a day crabbing sounds awesome in theory, but in practice…well for me it was a somewhat difficult day. Oh, don’t get me wrong…I loved the boat and the crabbing. The problem was the greenhead flies! These huge nasty biting flies breed most aggressively in the salty marshland of my island. They feed on the blood of humans and warm blooded animals. Their bites are painful, like a cigarette burn, because they have a crude slicing implement similar to tiny scissors. I am allergic to their bites and one will swell to the size of a quarter, itch like mad, and last for 2 weeks. Well, for some reason, on that boat on that day, these stupid flies made a meal out of me! By the time we got home I had easily 40+ bites and was intensely uncomfortable for the next few days! YUCK!
But overall I had a really fantastic time with my cousin’s visit and I am excited for her visit next year! As I drove her to the airport on that last day, we stopped in Phillie for lunch as I had been craving tex-mex and guacamole for like 6 months! This was the perfect ending to a wonderful time together.
Also while home in NJ I went to visit my family in Cleveland for a long weekend. The time was action packed! We went to a comedy show, had a BBQ party, did some shopping and visiting and then it was pretty much time for me to go home. It was great to see everyone and we had a lot of fun. I do regret I could not spend more time there and especially that I was too busy with family to actually see any friends. Maybe over xmas!
After getting back from the CLE I went and spent 4 days in Phillie – hanging out with “A” and “Em” and helping “Em” move – again! This time a permanent move to North Carolina. Sad for me, but great for her!
The last few days of my visit I spent at the beach and with PC.
In all it just flew by! And now I am back in Belgrade and I am glad to be back. I am trying to make the most of it b/c I know it will be over before I know it!
Well anyhow…thanks for reading…
Until next time…
Xina
My wonderful trip to Eastern Serbia
OK, well, after the intense experience of the Srebrenica commemoration week the leader of WiB felt that we needed a little break and since there were still a handful of international visitors left in Belgrade she organized a trip to Eastern Serbia for us foreigners.
We had a small bus and somewhere around 18 passengers from Serbia, Croatia, USA, Italy, Spain, Israel, Iran (and maybe others). We headed out with a loosely planned 2 day itinerary. All-and-all the trip was awesome! The weather was great. It was a really fantastic group. I felt like, after the activities of the Srebrenica week and this trip my Serbian language had improved immensely. And we saw so much of the Serbian countryside and so many little towns. I really loved it.
Throughout the nearly 10 years I have been coming to this region I have seen much of Croatia, and Bosnia and have even travelled a bit in Macedonia. Yet in Serbia, other than the trip to Leskovac, I had not seen much. So this trip was something special for me…
DAY 1
Pozarevac – Our first stop was a museum in the town of Pozarevac, which is also incidentally the town where Slobodan Milosevic was born and is now buried. The museum we visited is essentially a quick orientation guide to all of the treasures from Roman times and before that have been unearthed in Serbia. To my surprise there is an amazing amount of Roman ruins in Serbia! I am not sure why they do not capitalize on it more, as I think it would attract many tourists. But for whatever reason, even many Serbian people I talk to do not realize the treasures that are here!
So, after the museum, in true Serbian style, we walked to a nearby café for strong Turkish coffees and a cigarette break. We were then off to our next destination, though we would return to Pozarevac for lunch as a local taverna had offered to make a traditional meal for us.
Viminacium – From Pozarevac we drove about 45 minutes to the site of an old Roman town known as Viminacium. Incidentally, this is also the spot where, just a few months ago, archaeologists excavated the largest and best preserved mastodon (or possibly mammoth, I don’t remember) known in the world (according to the JAT airlines in flight magazine). We had a super cheerful guide who took us to three different excavation sites, two of which were really impressive! In the first we could see many tombs that had been unearthed, several still with bones, as well as works of art and architecture.
I actually cannot remember the second site, but the third was really great. Here you had a bath house that had been excavated and was really well preserved. We spent a good 2 ½ hrs in total at Viminacium and I think we were the only tourists there during that time. Can you believe it? After being in Rome just a few months ago among throngs of people at every ancient site it was amazing to have this to ourselves!
After the bath house we prepared to get back in the bus, but not before I had some time for playing with the most beautiful St. Bernard dogs I have ever seen (one with blue eyes even) who belonged to the owners.
Preserveed skeleton found in tombs at Viminacium
Part of excavated ruins of Roman town at Viminacium
Bath house excavated at Viminacium
Lunch in Pozarevac – So we returned to Pozarevac for lunch and I was really happy that all of the foreign visitors got to have such a delicious and well prepared Serbian lunch. (You see, even though I am also a foreigner, because I live here I felt like the others were our guests and I really wanted to show them the best of Serbia.)
Now, I know I have mentioned this, but the staple of the Serbian diet is MEAT!! So the traditional lunch (usually around 2 or 3pm) is really more like dinner, and everything is served family style. They first bring some assorted appetizers – roasted peppers with garlic, assorted salads, white beans, sautéed mushrooms, other things I can’t recall, and always served with delicious, still hot home made bread!!
Then for the main course they bring out several huge platters overflowing with grilled meats of every imaginable variety! Roasted pork, lamb sausages, huge thick bacon, chicken, beef…I mean you name it. Some is even some kind of meat with some other meat in the middle wrapped in yet another kind of meat!
And with all of this meat it is most delicious to have a very cold domestic draft beer!
You finish it all off with a strong Turkish coffee and assorted sweets that resemble various Greek baklavas.
As you might imagine, after all of that one needs a nap! And that is just what I did. While the passing countryside was beautiful as we went on to our next stop, I leaned against the window and fell fast asleep for a good hour or more!
Petrovac Cemetery – Our next stop was a couple hours down the road. We stopped in a small town known as Petrovac, but we didn’t really stop in the town so much as in the town’s cemetery. You see, apparently this town has long been known for a rather interesting tradition. Now all over Serbia, and especially in Eastern Bosnia, at Serb-Orthodox graves there is a tradition of leaving the favorite things of the dead person at the gravesite. So like if the person liked Jack Daniels, you might leave a glass of Jack. If s/he liked twinkies, you would leave twinkies. Same with cigarettes, apples, etc. They also light these yellow waxy candles at the graves when they visit.
So, this much I knew was a sort of standard thing. But what makes this cemetery special is the enactment of their belief that the dead and the living actually live among one another. Because of this, at many of the grave sites there are tiny houses, or sheds, or porches built. The most opulent of these has curtains, a TV, a sofa, a dining room, etc. (Clearly the more wealthy one is the better their grave site house.) Loved ones visit the graves, have a meal, and often sleep there. In fact we were told that there is at least one person sleeping there every night!
We spent an hour or so hiking around the cemetery, which all and all was pretty cool. We then loaded back up for our sort of sunset destination – Zagubica.
Grave stone inside porch-like structure - Petrovac Cemetery
Peeking inside the chiffon curtains of one of the more opulent cemetery houses. You can see a set table and even a TV in this one.
Another one that is more like a porch - Petrovac Cemetary
This one was like a huge living room with a picture window. Behind the grave stones here there was a table and chairs as well.
In this one you can see a more wide angle of the cemetery - Petrovac
Zagubica – We wound our way through beautiful countryside, mountains and valleys for a couple hours or so finally stopping at an exceptionally charming, rustic little site. The first thing I noticed was that there was again a looming grave yard on a hill that again had something distinctive about it…most of the graves had very colorful images depicting the things that the person loved most in life, and/or what they did for a profession and sometimes even how they died. Again this was super-cool!
I hiked around this spot for a bit, taking some photos, when I suddenly realized that most of the group had departed, except my roommate “J.” So “J” and I made our way down the hill toward the road to find the path where everyone else went. As we got to the road I suddenly see a group of big brown cows walking in nearly single file down the road. When they saw us they sped up and I got a little nervous – like they were chasing me! I soon noticed the herder following behind them, laughing at my reaction!
As we started to catch up with the rest of the group we took pause. I started to take notice of the stunning natural beauty of the place we were. A river about 15 ft. wide ran lazily cascading down rocks and under 2 wooden bridges. A weeping willow that would rival any described in Mark Twain’s tales poured its generous branches toward the river. To the right, the sky had begun to turn pink and two goats meandered on the bank across. To the left three dogs stood at the very edge of the stream – intermittently playing and lapping the cool water. And then, smack in the middle, two of the stream of cows stood, letting the water reach nearly to their huge bellies as they drank. I was so tickled! It all seemed so perfect!
We caught our group as we walked along the path near the river. In no hurry. Really loving the sounds and smells. We all sat at a café near the water for another round of strong Turkish coffee and cigarettes. (seriously – I have no idea how anyone sleeps here! They must drink 10+ coffees a day! Even at 10pm! Little wonder I am a crazy insomniac here! Well, I am insomniac everywhere, I always have been, but here I have many nights of just 1 hour of sleep!)
We then made our way back to the bus at a leisurely pace, pausing to admire the changes in the sky. The setting sun continued to put on a dazzling show as we made our winding way through the mountains, up up up – 15,000 feet – then winding down down down and around the valley and back up again.
Gravesite in Zagubica - note the red sports car - both what he loved and how he died
Gravesite in Zagubica - Man on motorcycle - again what he loved and how he died.
Natural beauty of Zagubica - river with Weeping Willow
Cows bathing in river in Zagubica - perhaps tired from chasing me!
More natural beauty of Zagubica
Bor – We stopped at the edge of the town of Bor, and it was already dark. Apparently we had expected to get there earlier because when I asked “What is here in Bor?” I was told “Serbia’s most shameful ecological disaster.” But clearly it was too late to see it.
Now in the moments before we reached Bor I had made it known that I really really had to pee. I am not one of those “squirrel bladder” types who goes every 15 minutes, and can usually hold it patiently for hours, but after so much coffee, beer and water that day, I was desperate. When I could not take it anymore I told the driver and navigator that I really had to go. Only, I couldn’t think of the polite way to say it in Serbian so instead I announced something akin to
“Pardon me, I must take a piss. I must piss very much. I need to take a piss now.”
All Serbian speaker in the bus laughed, a lot, but no one seemed to take my request seriously and we drove on. A few minutes of wiggling later I pleaded with the driver,
“Please – I badly need to take a piss. I take a piss in the grass or flowers near road. I don’t care.”
Again – laughter, but no indication of slowing down. When we finally stopped on the outskirts of Bor I jumped out of the bus without even saying a word and ran for the lights of an open café about 400 meters away. I did not greet anyone inside, I did not ask anyone’s permission, I just made a bee-line for the bathroom and was so so happy!
When I returned to the bus our guide for Bor had arrived and we proceeded to the city center. As in most European countries, all towns and cities in Serbian have a sort of designated pedestrian zone. In the Balkans it seems that every night that weather permits people of all ages can be seen looking their loveliest and walking up and down these pedestrian streets, stopping for a chat now and then or an ice cream, or a coffee or a beer. It is lively and pleasurable and I wish we had more towns like this in the US.
Well, in this tradition, Bor did seem to have a pedestrian zone. Yet as we parked and walked toward this area it looked more like a scene from a zombie movie or Michael Jackson’s Thriller video than a lively town gathering place. Under the orange glow of streetlights a smattering of shabbily dressed people walked ever so slowly toward us. Intermingled with these zombie townsfolk a mass of decrepit stray dogs weaved in and out, their ribs protruding like a xylophone.
Not wanting to be rude, but certainly freaked out by the freak show I whispered to “J” and the other American girl “D” about the zombies and they admitted they were thinking the same thing. Giggling sporadically as we made our way through the zombies, our guide took us to several important historical sites there in Bor – important because the mine in Bor made the town very wealthy for something like 100 years – particularly during the Communist period and during the Milosevic years when Bor was the only town making money and all its profits fed the war effort. Now the mine barely works and Bor is desperately poor. Young people who can leave Bor do so, and those who stick around are often victims of drug addiction and poverty.
Obviously we could not see the mine that night, but we walked to its edge – followed by so many starving dogs – and while the town itself was one of the most depressing places I’ve seen in a long time, one thing that was particularly striking was the stars. Because of the lack of light pollution the night sky looked like someone had smeared glitter all over the sky.
We would return to Bor the next day for a look at the mine. Like the guide said, it truly was an ecological disaster. Across from where we viewed the mine was what appeared to be a factory. We were told that this factory had twice served as a concentration camp – once in WWII and again in the 1990s.
Bor mine with view of factory building twice used as concentration camp
Another view of the ecological disaster known as the Bor mine.
Our Spa Hotel – As we left Bor that first night, exhausted and a little sad, we proceeded about ½ hour to the place we were to spend the night. We had been told we were staying at a spa, which in the American mind conjures images of opulent luxury – massages, pedicures, facials, etc. Well, this is not quite what a spa means in this region of the world. Many of the mountain towns in Serbia, Bosnia and Croatia have hot springs and various mineral pools. Around these things have sprung hotels and resorts, but not in the American sense – more in a rustic, in-tune with nature sense.
So, while this “spa” was not exactly what my mind had conjured, it was still an amazing and impressive thing. Set in the woods with various cabins, places to walk, a stream, wild life, and a pretty decent breakfast – it is a place to relax and recharge for sure!
Upon arrival we went straight to sleep! But when I woke the next morning, I had my breakfast and then decided to take a walk around the grounds to see what I could see. The first thing I came upon was an adorable set of puppies. Being an idiot and an animal lover I immediately went over to pet and cuddle these playful balls of fur. MISTAKE! Just when I got close enough to touch a puppy an angry snarling mother came at me with teeth that looked as vicious as a shark and a growling bark that was not playing around! I may have let out a little scream, I can’t remember, time was suddenly in slow motion as I pictured being mauled by this dog and I quickly backed away avoiding eye contact. Thank god the dog retreated – LESSON LEARNED!
The rest of my walk was lovely though. The woods were so nice and there were various mineral springs at various points in the path. I felt amazing (once I settled down from the near death by dog experience) and really charged with the energy of the natural surroundings. I could’ve stayed for days…or at least a few hours more…but after about an hour’s walk I could see the others rounding up to get into the bus, so I went back. Saying goodbye to this beautiful place we were bound for day 2!
View of the breakfast area at our spa hotel
A nice wooded spot at our spa hotel
We had a small bus and somewhere around 18 passengers from Serbia, Croatia, USA, Italy, Spain, Israel, Iran (and maybe others). We headed out with a loosely planned 2 day itinerary. All-and-all the trip was awesome! The weather was great. It was a really fantastic group. I felt like, after the activities of the Srebrenica week and this trip my Serbian language had improved immensely. And we saw so much of the Serbian countryside and so many little towns. I really loved it.
Throughout the nearly 10 years I have been coming to this region I have seen much of Croatia, and Bosnia and have even travelled a bit in Macedonia. Yet in Serbia, other than the trip to Leskovac, I had not seen much. So this trip was something special for me…
DAY 1
Pozarevac – Our first stop was a museum in the town of Pozarevac, which is also incidentally the town where Slobodan Milosevic was born and is now buried. The museum we visited is essentially a quick orientation guide to all of the treasures from Roman times and before that have been unearthed in Serbia. To my surprise there is an amazing amount of Roman ruins in Serbia! I am not sure why they do not capitalize on it more, as I think it would attract many tourists. But for whatever reason, even many Serbian people I talk to do not realize the treasures that are here!
So, after the museum, in true Serbian style, we walked to a nearby café for strong Turkish coffees and a cigarette break. We were then off to our next destination, though we would return to Pozarevac for lunch as a local taverna had offered to make a traditional meal for us.
Viminacium – From Pozarevac we drove about 45 minutes to the site of an old Roman town known as Viminacium. Incidentally, this is also the spot where, just a few months ago, archaeologists excavated the largest and best preserved mastodon (or possibly mammoth, I don’t remember) known in the world (according to the JAT airlines in flight magazine). We had a super cheerful guide who took us to three different excavation sites, two of which were really impressive! In the first we could see many tombs that had been unearthed, several still with bones, as well as works of art and architecture.
I actually cannot remember the second site, but the third was really great. Here you had a bath house that had been excavated and was really well preserved. We spent a good 2 ½ hrs in total at Viminacium and I think we were the only tourists there during that time. Can you believe it? After being in Rome just a few months ago among throngs of people at every ancient site it was amazing to have this to ourselves!
After the bath house we prepared to get back in the bus, but not before I had some time for playing with the most beautiful St. Bernard dogs I have ever seen (one with blue eyes even) who belonged to the owners.
Preserveed skeleton found in tombs at Viminacium
Part of excavated ruins of Roman town at Viminacium
Bath house excavated at ViminaciumLunch in Pozarevac – So we returned to Pozarevac for lunch and I was really happy that all of the foreign visitors got to have such a delicious and well prepared Serbian lunch. (You see, even though I am also a foreigner, because I live here I felt like the others were our guests and I really wanted to show them the best of Serbia.)
Now, I know I have mentioned this, but the staple of the Serbian diet is MEAT!! So the traditional lunch (usually around 2 or 3pm) is really more like dinner, and everything is served family style. They first bring some assorted appetizers – roasted peppers with garlic, assorted salads, white beans, sautéed mushrooms, other things I can’t recall, and always served with delicious, still hot home made bread!!
Then for the main course they bring out several huge platters overflowing with grilled meats of every imaginable variety! Roasted pork, lamb sausages, huge thick bacon, chicken, beef…I mean you name it. Some is even some kind of meat with some other meat in the middle wrapped in yet another kind of meat!
And with all of this meat it is most delicious to have a very cold domestic draft beer!
You finish it all off with a strong Turkish coffee and assorted sweets that resemble various Greek baklavas.
As you might imagine, after all of that one needs a nap! And that is just what I did. While the passing countryside was beautiful as we went on to our next stop, I leaned against the window and fell fast asleep for a good hour or more!
Petrovac Cemetery – Our next stop was a couple hours down the road. We stopped in a small town known as Petrovac, but we didn’t really stop in the town so much as in the town’s cemetery. You see, apparently this town has long been known for a rather interesting tradition. Now all over Serbia, and especially in Eastern Bosnia, at Serb-Orthodox graves there is a tradition of leaving the favorite things of the dead person at the gravesite. So like if the person liked Jack Daniels, you might leave a glass of Jack. If s/he liked twinkies, you would leave twinkies. Same with cigarettes, apples, etc. They also light these yellow waxy candles at the graves when they visit.
So, this much I knew was a sort of standard thing. But what makes this cemetery special is the enactment of their belief that the dead and the living actually live among one another. Because of this, at many of the grave sites there are tiny houses, or sheds, or porches built. The most opulent of these has curtains, a TV, a sofa, a dining room, etc. (Clearly the more wealthy one is the better their grave site house.) Loved ones visit the graves, have a meal, and often sleep there. In fact we were told that there is at least one person sleeping there every night!
We spent an hour or so hiking around the cemetery, which all and all was pretty cool. We then loaded back up for our sort of sunset destination – Zagubica.
Grave stone inside porch-like structure - Petrovac Cemetery
Peeking inside the chiffon curtains of one of the more opulent cemetery houses. You can see a set table and even a TV in this one.
Another one that is more like a porch - Petrovac Cemetary
This one was like a huge living room with a picture window. Behind the grave stones here there was a table and chairs as well.
In this one you can see a more wide angle of the cemetery - PetrovacZagubica – We wound our way through beautiful countryside, mountains and valleys for a couple hours or so finally stopping at an exceptionally charming, rustic little site. The first thing I noticed was that there was again a looming grave yard on a hill that again had something distinctive about it…most of the graves had very colorful images depicting the things that the person loved most in life, and/or what they did for a profession and sometimes even how they died. Again this was super-cool!
I hiked around this spot for a bit, taking some photos, when I suddenly realized that most of the group had departed, except my roommate “J.” So “J” and I made our way down the hill toward the road to find the path where everyone else went. As we got to the road I suddenly see a group of big brown cows walking in nearly single file down the road. When they saw us they sped up and I got a little nervous – like they were chasing me! I soon noticed the herder following behind them, laughing at my reaction!
As we started to catch up with the rest of the group we took pause. I started to take notice of the stunning natural beauty of the place we were. A river about 15 ft. wide ran lazily cascading down rocks and under 2 wooden bridges. A weeping willow that would rival any described in Mark Twain’s tales poured its generous branches toward the river. To the right, the sky had begun to turn pink and two goats meandered on the bank across. To the left three dogs stood at the very edge of the stream – intermittently playing and lapping the cool water. And then, smack in the middle, two of the stream of cows stood, letting the water reach nearly to their huge bellies as they drank. I was so tickled! It all seemed so perfect!
We caught our group as we walked along the path near the river. In no hurry. Really loving the sounds and smells. We all sat at a café near the water for another round of strong Turkish coffee and cigarettes. (seriously – I have no idea how anyone sleeps here! They must drink 10+ coffees a day! Even at 10pm! Little wonder I am a crazy insomniac here! Well, I am insomniac everywhere, I always have been, but here I have many nights of just 1 hour of sleep!)
We then made our way back to the bus at a leisurely pace, pausing to admire the changes in the sky. The setting sun continued to put on a dazzling show as we made our winding way through the mountains, up up up – 15,000 feet – then winding down down down and around the valley and back up again.
Gravesite in Zagubica - note the red sports car - both what he loved and how he died
Gravesite in Zagubica - Man on motorcycle - again what he loved and how he died.
Natural beauty of Zagubica - river with Weeping Willow
Cows bathing in river in Zagubica - perhaps tired from chasing me!
More natural beauty of ZagubicaBor – We stopped at the edge of the town of Bor, and it was already dark. Apparently we had expected to get there earlier because when I asked “What is here in Bor?” I was told “Serbia’s most shameful ecological disaster.” But clearly it was too late to see it.
Now in the moments before we reached Bor I had made it known that I really really had to pee. I am not one of those “squirrel bladder” types who goes every 15 minutes, and can usually hold it patiently for hours, but after so much coffee, beer and water that day, I was desperate. When I could not take it anymore I told the driver and navigator that I really had to go. Only, I couldn’t think of the polite way to say it in Serbian so instead I announced something akin to
“Pardon me, I must take a piss. I must piss very much. I need to take a piss now.”
All Serbian speaker in the bus laughed, a lot, but no one seemed to take my request seriously and we drove on. A few minutes of wiggling later I pleaded with the driver,
“Please – I badly need to take a piss. I take a piss in the grass or flowers near road. I don’t care.”
Again – laughter, but no indication of slowing down. When we finally stopped on the outskirts of Bor I jumped out of the bus without even saying a word and ran for the lights of an open café about 400 meters away. I did not greet anyone inside, I did not ask anyone’s permission, I just made a bee-line for the bathroom and was so so happy!
When I returned to the bus our guide for Bor had arrived and we proceeded to the city center. As in most European countries, all towns and cities in Serbian have a sort of designated pedestrian zone. In the Balkans it seems that every night that weather permits people of all ages can be seen looking their loveliest and walking up and down these pedestrian streets, stopping for a chat now and then or an ice cream, or a coffee or a beer. It is lively and pleasurable and I wish we had more towns like this in the US.
Well, in this tradition, Bor did seem to have a pedestrian zone. Yet as we parked and walked toward this area it looked more like a scene from a zombie movie or Michael Jackson’s Thriller video than a lively town gathering place. Under the orange glow of streetlights a smattering of shabbily dressed people walked ever so slowly toward us. Intermingled with these zombie townsfolk a mass of decrepit stray dogs weaved in and out, their ribs protruding like a xylophone.
Not wanting to be rude, but certainly freaked out by the freak show I whispered to “J” and the other American girl “D” about the zombies and they admitted they were thinking the same thing. Giggling sporadically as we made our way through the zombies, our guide took us to several important historical sites there in Bor – important because the mine in Bor made the town very wealthy for something like 100 years – particularly during the Communist period and during the Milosevic years when Bor was the only town making money and all its profits fed the war effort. Now the mine barely works and Bor is desperately poor. Young people who can leave Bor do so, and those who stick around are often victims of drug addiction and poverty.
Obviously we could not see the mine that night, but we walked to its edge – followed by so many starving dogs – and while the town itself was one of the most depressing places I’ve seen in a long time, one thing that was particularly striking was the stars. Because of the lack of light pollution the night sky looked like someone had smeared glitter all over the sky.
We would return to Bor the next day for a look at the mine. Like the guide said, it truly was an ecological disaster. Across from where we viewed the mine was what appeared to be a factory. We were told that this factory had twice served as a concentration camp – once in WWII and again in the 1990s.
Bor mine with view of factory building twice used as concentration camp
Another view of the ecological disaster known as the Bor mine.Our Spa Hotel – As we left Bor that first night, exhausted and a little sad, we proceeded about ½ hour to the place we were to spend the night. We had been told we were staying at a spa, which in the American mind conjures images of opulent luxury – massages, pedicures, facials, etc. Well, this is not quite what a spa means in this region of the world. Many of the mountain towns in Serbia, Bosnia and Croatia have hot springs and various mineral pools. Around these things have sprung hotels and resorts, but not in the American sense – more in a rustic, in-tune with nature sense.
So, while this “spa” was not exactly what my mind had conjured, it was still an amazing and impressive thing. Set in the woods with various cabins, places to walk, a stream, wild life, and a pretty decent breakfast – it is a place to relax and recharge for sure!
Upon arrival we went straight to sleep! But when I woke the next morning, I had my breakfast and then decided to take a walk around the grounds to see what I could see. The first thing I came upon was an adorable set of puppies. Being an idiot and an animal lover I immediately went over to pet and cuddle these playful balls of fur. MISTAKE! Just when I got close enough to touch a puppy an angry snarling mother came at me with teeth that looked as vicious as a shark and a growling bark that was not playing around! I may have let out a little scream, I can’t remember, time was suddenly in slow motion as I pictured being mauled by this dog and I quickly backed away avoiding eye contact. Thank god the dog retreated – LESSON LEARNED!
The rest of my walk was lovely though. The woods were so nice and there were various mineral springs at various points in the path. I felt amazing (once I settled down from the near death by dog experience) and really charged with the energy of the natural surroundings. I could’ve stayed for days…or at least a few hours more…but after about an hour’s walk I could see the others rounding up to get into the bus, so I went back. Saying goodbye to this beautiful place we were bound for day 2!
View of the breakfast area at our spa hotel 
A nice wooded spot at our spa hotelDay 2
Romuliana – Now, as I mentioned earlier, day 2 began with a trip to the Bor mine. After that we were off to the 2nd of our amazing Roman ruins sites – an old Roman army encampment called Romuliana.
This place was again super cool! I mean it was such a huge site with so many excavated areas, and again hardly any people! There were a few others besides our group, but still not more than 10 others! And you were free to wander all around the site at will! Seeing columns and perfectly preserved mosaic and marble walk ways! This place was truly a wonder!
At the beginning of the tour we saw a diorama of what they presume the town looked like in Roman times, but after that part of the tour I sort of tuned out b/c he was speaking Serbian and Spanish, then the Spanish people were translating into Italian and French and I couldn’t concentrate on all of that Babylonian mish-mash. Besides, I had to pee again and since I did not want to get into the same situation as the day before, I decided to seek out the toilet immediately.
It was difficult to find. “To the left and then straight” people kept saying. But even when I went as far as the back building, which seemed ½ kilometer from the ticket office where I had asked to begin with, still I could not find it. Again someone at the back building said “To the left and straight.” I kept going, around the back building, searching for a door.
I asked one last time, and somehow this time I understood a bit better. I needed to go down one more path. I assumed I couldn’t see the building with the bathrooms because of the trees that were blocking it. So imagine my shock and horror when I saw a tiny outhouse hidden in the trees – looking like it was ready to fall at any moment.
I held my breath and went in, only to be further horrified…this was not just an outhouse (which I can handle – due to many an outhouse situation in my youth - but hate as I have always imagined something coming up from the hole to bite me) but was instead an amalgamation of my two most hated toilet scenarios! Not only an outhouse, but what we call a “Turkish toilet” to boot!
If you don’t know what this is, a Turkish toilet is a small hole in the floor, usually surrounded by some kind of porcelain, and if you are lucky, a handrail of some sort to balance yourself. If you are a man, this type of toilet should pose no problem. If you are a female in a skirt, you can make it work for yourself. But I have to say that when I have encountered these while wearing pants I have peed on myself more than once, so that now I just take off my pants to avoid this situation all together.
Peeing into this tiny hole without getting wet is a challenge in and of itself. I have no doubt that people who use these regularly are totally accustomed to them, and they claim “it is the more natural way” and “it is better for you.” But if I can be totally candid here… I once stayed in a town in rural Bosnia that had only Turkish toilets and I did not defecate for a week! Mostly b/c I could not figure out how! And you can imagine that with 10+ coffees a day this was no easy feat!
Anyhow, finding the combo outhouse/Turkish toilet was a little overwhelming, but I managed. When I returned to the group and we were wandering and exploring the ruins on our own, several other women asked me where was the toilet. I explained it to them, and warned them about what they might expect. Not another woman used this toilet while we were there. They all said they could wait for our next stop. And I got a bit of teasing for using this toilet, but the joke was on them in the end because our next stop did not come for at least 3hrs!
Restored gates of ancient Roman site - Romuliana
Part of ruins at Romuliana
A restoration using excavated materials and ancient city plans
More Roman ruins at Romuliana
Partially restored section using excavated materials and ancient plans
Restored city gates leaving ancient city of Romuliana
Romuliana – Now, as I mentioned earlier, day 2 began with a trip to the Bor mine. After that we were off to the 2nd of our amazing Roman ruins sites – an old Roman army encampment called Romuliana.
This place was again super cool! I mean it was such a huge site with so many excavated areas, and again hardly any people! There were a few others besides our group, but still not more than 10 others! And you were free to wander all around the site at will! Seeing columns and perfectly preserved mosaic and marble walk ways! This place was truly a wonder!
At the beginning of the tour we saw a diorama of what they presume the town looked like in Roman times, but after that part of the tour I sort of tuned out b/c he was speaking Serbian and Spanish, then the Spanish people were translating into Italian and French and I couldn’t concentrate on all of that Babylonian mish-mash. Besides, I had to pee again and since I did not want to get into the same situation as the day before, I decided to seek out the toilet immediately.
It was difficult to find. “To the left and then straight” people kept saying. But even when I went as far as the back building, which seemed ½ kilometer from the ticket office where I had asked to begin with, still I could not find it. Again someone at the back building said “To the left and straight.” I kept going, around the back building, searching for a door.
I asked one last time, and somehow this time I understood a bit better. I needed to go down one more path. I assumed I couldn’t see the building with the bathrooms because of the trees that were blocking it. So imagine my shock and horror when I saw a tiny outhouse hidden in the trees – looking like it was ready to fall at any moment.
I held my breath and went in, only to be further horrified…this was not just an outhouse (which I can handle – due to many an outhouse situation in my youth - but hate as I have always imagined something coming up from the hole to bite me) but was instead an amalgamation of my two most hated toilet scenarios! Not only an outhouse, but what we call a “Turkish toilet” to boot!
If you don’t know what this is, a Turkish toilet is a small hole in the floor, usually surrounded by some kind of porcelain, and if you are lucky, a handrail of some sort to balance yourself. If you are a man, this type of toilet should pose no problem. If you are a female in a skirt, you can make it work for yourself. But I have to say that when I have encountered these while wearing pants I have peed on myself more than once, so that now I just take off my pants to avoid this situation all together.
Peeing into this tiny hole without getting wet is a challenge in and of itself. I have no doubt that people who use these regularly are totally accustomed to them, and they claim “it is the more natural way” and “it is better for you.” But if I can be totally candid here… I once stayed in a town in rural Bosnia that had only Turkish toilets and I did not defecate for a week! Mostly b/c I could not figure out how! And you can imagine that with 10+ coffees a day this was no easy feat!
Anyhow, finding the combo outhouse/Turkish toilet was a little overwhelming, but I managed. When I returned to the group and we were wandering and exploring the ruins on our own, several other women asked me where was the toilet. I explained it to them, and warned them about what they might expect. Not another woman used this toilet while we were there. They all said they could wait for our next stop. And I got a bit of teasing for using this toilet, but the joke was on them in the end because our next stop did not come for at least 3hrs!
Restored gates of ancient Roman site - Romuliana
Part of ruins at Romuliana
A restoration using excavated materials and ancient city plans
More Roman ruins at Romuliana 
Partially restored section using excavated materials and ancient plans
Restored city gates leaving ancient city of RomulianaCuprija – Our next major stop was in the town of Cuprija where there is an amazingly old monastery (really more like a convent b/c nuns live there, not priests). The fortress surrounding the church is as old as 12th century and the church itself, though largely restored, must not be any older than 16th century (judging by the damage to the internal frescoes that could still be seen in spots still being restored. It is typical in Christian areas that were dominated by Ottoman Turks to find religious icons with their eyes or sometimes entire faces gouged out. I was told that this has to do with the Muslim belief that God should never be depicted.)
Now, I have seen my share of Catholic churches all over Europe, and a few mosques in Bosnia. I have even been in plenty of Orthodox churches in Greece, Macedonia and Serbia. But this place was particularly special. While I was not allowed to take picture inside, the ornate designs all the way up to the details in the ceiling rivaled many of the best I’d seen. Most amazing, on the fortress outside at one point you could still see the original frescoes that had not been restored yet!
But these are not the only things that make this monastery special…oh no! If you think back to the story of the 1389 battle of Kosovo – a foundational myth for Serbian identity throughout history and again in the present moment – that I detailed in a previous post on the brief history of the region, you will remember that one of the stories two heroes was a Serbian prince (or Knez) named Knez Lazar. Well, in this monastery lies the desiccated remains of Knez Lazar – like so many Catholic church relics in Italy. But this one is particularly special…
Every Sunday the church opens the casket to believers who need some kind of miracle. They pray and touch the hands of Knez Lazar and God answers their prayers. Or…to put it more cynically, they ask the magical rotting corpse of Knez Lazar to grant them a wish – kind of like a genie. (And you can buy postcards depicting his rotten hands in the lobby as a souvenir. God I wish I’d bought some!) Now I am not trying to denigrate the religious beliefs of others, but it does seem a little crazy from the outside, you have to admit.
Anyhow – all and all this was an awesome place to visit. Really lovely.
View of Cuprija monastary housing the bones of Knez Lazar - the stone part is the more ancient fortress
A better view of the monastary and fortress walls from head-on
Lunch Day 2 – So Day 2 we had lunch at a roadside Taverna. It was good. Pretty similar in variety to what we had the day before but not quite as high in quality. The price was right though! I think for 20 people to eat themselves stuffed and each have 2 beers we still got out for less than $80 US.
Vodapada – At this point we were actually supposed to go to see one more monastery and hike some caves, but we had actually run out of time and would run out of daylight before we got there so we instead decided to find this cool little spot with waterfalls that the Serbs on the bus had remembered.
After some amount of driving around in confusion, we finally reached the spot. Again – fantastic! Cute café where we sat for coffee and cigarettes, a lovely river running by, etc.
When some people had finished their coffee they decided to make the hike to the waterfall. I had intended to join them, but was engaged in a conversation, so I said I’d catch-up.
Well, I didn’t quite catch up to them, and I did fear several times that I was lost and was going to have to live there forever, but I did have quite an adventure finding it. On the way I saw so many sheep, goats, the hugest pig ever, horses, wonderfully quaint houses and lovely nature. When I finally found the waterfall and the group, they were already done enjoying the nature and were headed back down, but I wanted to explore some more, and I’m glad I did. I found the most adorable restaurant tucked back into the woods, only accessible if you knew what path to take. I wished we had not eaten and had held out for this place!
So, while there was still a third part of the larger group who had not come to the waterfall yet, I hiked around a bit and jumped in with them to go back down the mountain when that third group was ready.
Cafe on bridge where we had coffee before finding the waterfall
Definately the biggest, pinkest pig I've ever seen - on way to waterfall
Finally! The waterfall - It's no Niagra Falls, but it sure was pretty!
Charming restaurant I found in the woods near the waterfall.
Now, I have seen my share of Catholic churches all over Europe, and a few mosques in Bosnia. I have even been in plenty of Orthodox churches in Greece, Macedonia and Serbia. But this place was particularly special. While I was not allowed to take picture inside, the ornate designs all the way up to the details in the ceiling rivaled many of the best I’d seen. Most amazing, on the fortress outside at one point you could still see the original frescoes that had not been restored yet!
But these are not the only things that make this monastery special…oh no! If you think back to the story of the 1389 battle of Kosovo – a foundational myth for Serbian identity throughout history and again in the present moment – that I detailed in a previous post on the brief history of the region, you will remember that one of the stories two heroes was a Serbian prince (or Knez) named Knez Lazar. Well, in this monastery lies the desiccated remains of Knez Lazar – like so many Catholic church relics in Italy. But this one is particularly special…
Every Sunday the church opens the casket to believers who need some kind of miracle. They pray and touch the hands of Knez Lazar and God answers their prayers. Or…to put it more cynically, they ask the magical rotting corpse of Knez Lazar to grant them a wish – kind of like a genie. (And you can buy postcards depicting his rotten hands in the lobby as a souvenir. God I wish I’d bought some!) Now I am not trying to denigrate the religious beliefs of others, but it does seem a little crazy from the outside, you have to admit.
Anyhow – all and all this was an awesome place to visit. Really lovely.
View of Cuprija monastary housing the bones of Knez Lazar - the stone part is the more ancient fortress 
A better view of the monastary and fortress walls from head-onLunch Day 2 – So Day 2 we had lunch at a roadside Taverna. It was good. Pretty similar in variety to what we had the day before but not quite as high in quality. The price was right though! I think for 20 people to eat themselves stuffed and each have 2 beers we still got out for less than $80 US.
Vodapada – At this point we were actually supposed to go to see one more monastery and hike some caves, but we had actually run out of time and would run out of daylight before we got there so we instead decided to find this cool little spot with waterfalls that the Serbs on the bus had remembered.
After some amount of driving around in confusion, we finally reached the spot. Again – fantastic! Cute café where we sat for coffee and cigarettes, a lovely river running by, etc.
When some people had finished their coffee they decided to make the hike to the waterfall. I had intended to join them, but was engaged in a conversation, so I said I’d catch-up.
Well, I didn’t quite catch up to them, and I did fear several times that I was lost and was going to have to live there forever, but I did have quite an adventure finding it. On the way I saw so many sheep, goats, the hugest pig ever, horses, wonderfully quaint houses and lovely nature. When I finally found the waterfall and the group, they were already done enjoying the nature and were headed back down, but I wanted to explore some more, and I’m glad I did. I found the most adorable restaurant tucked back into the woods, only accessible if you knew what path to take. I wished we had not eaten and had held out for this place!
So, while there was still a third part of the larger group who had not come to the waterfall yet, I hiked around a bit and jumped in with them to go back down the mountain when that third group was ready.
Cafe on bridge where we had coffee before finding the waterfall
Definately the biggest, pinkest pig I've ever seen - on way to waterfall
Finally! The waterfall - It's no Niagra Falls, but it sure was pretty!
Charming restaurant I found in the woods near the waterfall.The end
In all – a truly fantastic trip! We got home near midnight and were all exhausted, but we had seen so many things and really had a great time. I could not have asked for a better experience.
Thanks for reading…
Until next time…
Xina
In all – a truly fantastic trip! We got home near midnight and were all exhausted, but we had seen so many things and really had a great time. I could not have asked for a better experience.
Thanks for reading…
Until next time…
Xina
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