My Serbo-Family in Crvenka

In the last few months I have been travelling to Crvenka (in Vojvodina – north Serbia) to visit my landlord’s family every few weeks. I love it so much and have adopted them as my Serbian family! I feel I have really gotten an authentic perspective on Serbian culture from my time there. Although the Vojvodina region is unique in Serbia due to its largely multi-ethnic make-up (somewhere around 50% of Vojvodina is not of Serb ethnicity with many ethnic-Hungarians, ethnic-Germans, ethnic-Romanians, etc.) there are still important aspects of the every-day culture there that are fantastically representative of the best aspects of traditional Serbian culture. Foremost among these things is the hospitality!

In Belgrade, being a big city, I had not really been able to see this part of Serbian culture, though I had heard and read much about it. In fact, I had begun to think of it as a myth! But with my Serbian family in Crvenka I have felt so welcome and so at home that every time I visit it is hard to leave!

So let me back up and explain a little bit… The parents, Aci & Caca, are in their 40s. Aci is an ethnically German Serb, descended from a group of protestant Germans that settled in Vojvodina in the 17th and 18th century. After the Second World War, many of these ethnic Germans were imprisoned and/or driven out of the region (regardless of whether they were aligned with the Nazis or not – and most of them were not), and those that remained were stripped of their land and possessions under communism. Their land and possessions were re-distributed, mostly to settlers from Montenegro. There are all kinds of mythic stories in the area about the ways the Montenegrin settlers reacted to the technological advancements they found in the ethnically-German homes in which they were resettled, including utter confusion about indoor plumbing, tiled floors and stone fireplaces, but it’s hard to tell what is stereotype and what is true. The stories claim that the Montenegrins that came to Vojvodina were mainly peasants who had lived in earthen homes with dirt floors and without plumbing, but again I cannot attest to that with certainty.

Anyhow, Aci, my Serbo-family patriarch, comes from the ethnic-Germans, and identifies somewhat as such, but really seems to have a much larger allegiance to Yugoslavia. Aci moved to Belgrade with his family (his mother a professor and his father a veterinarian) when he was beginning high-school, and his mentality is quite cosmopolitan. He then went to university here in Belgrade and then worked on movie sets through the 1980s as many international films were shot here during that time. He and I spend hours talking about current events, history, local and global politics…quiet certainly we have solved all the world’s problems over a bottle of whiskey about 30 times over ;-)

The matriarch, Caca, is from a Serbian-Montenegrin family. She also studied in Belgrade and went to university for Travel and Tourism. She now runs a lovely resort/hotel in the town that neighbors Crvenka – Kula. She and I have become very close friends. We talk on the phone several times a week and I feel so much more comfortable here in Serbia knowing that she is there for me. Like for example, I know if I got sick, she would come to the doctor with me. Or if I needed to talk, or when I have questions about language or culture or whatever…she is there for me. We both feel we can talk to each other about anything! This is a great feeling here as a foreigner!

The couple met in Belgrade, and fell in love. Had it not been for the war, they would have likely stayed here, but with a new baby and the streets growing increasingly dangerous and the city increasingly expensive, the couple and their baby boy returned in Crvenka in the 1990s.

Their son, now 19, is named Julius and he is definitely one of the coolest kids I’ve met here in Serbia. When I met him he was in high-school, had hair down to his waist and was the guitar player for a locally popular punk-band. At the same time, he’s smart, funny and really globally aware. He has just started university here in Belgrade a couple weeks ago, and now lives across the street from me so he and I get together for coffee a couple times a week.

OK, so that is a quick orientation of who they are. So, how I know them…

When I arrived last January, they were here waiting for me (as they are my landlords). We instantly liked each other and they were a huge help for me in getting settled. Each month when they would come to collect the rent, we would sit for a couple of hours, drink coffee and chat. Sometimes the whole family would come, sometimes just two of them. Their stories were so interesting and we came to find that we shared a similar worldview and held the same opinions and sympathies in a lot of areas. Soon they invited me to come and spent a weekend at their place in the village – Crvenka.

Well, as you might imagine, I saw myself as far too busy to take the time to go there and I was worried that I would feel uncomfortable in someone else’s house, etc. I had intended to go in spring, but things got really busy for me here in Belgrade, so before I left for my vacation in the USA, we made a plan for me to come for a visit the weekend immediately after my return to Belgrade…and so I did.

I had intended to stay for 2 nights and enjoyed myself so much that I stayed for 5 days! They are so laid back and so cool and we just sit for hours and talk and laugh! Meanwhile, all of their friends from the village come and go throughout the day and there are some really interesting characters!

Anyhow, after my first stay in Crvenka, I was surprised by how much I missed this family, and they missed me! I decided that I would go back for my birthday weekend. I had promised to make them an American meal. As the son had asked specifically for Sloppy Joes I made that with guacamole…and I was thrilled that it was such a hit! Since then I have been back every few weeks! Also, at Julius’s request I had a package sent to him from the USA with all sorts of American junkfood (cheese whiz, mac n cheese, pop tarts, Doritos, etc.). I also included in the package, since he and his friends love to play board games, a few good games – Uno, Phase 10, Othello and Settlers of Cattan.

So, when I am there in the village I really enjoy myself! One time we spent the weekend making rakia – the local home made brandy. The family has several types of pear trees in their yard and so twice a year they make rakia from the pears. It was sooo cool! One of the villagers brings over a huge distillery and the cooking of the pears begins about 7am. All the day the men work on making the rakia (and finishing off the last batch) as well as tending to the grill while the women make coffee and other such things. The air smelled so wonderful with the scent of these cooking pears! The next day the local expert comes over and tests the batch to be sure it is of the correct balance, and then it is ready for drinking! The funny thing about rakia in Serbia is that most families make some kind of rakia, every rakia maker thinks his is the very best, and everyone in the country thinks rakia is the cure for everything! A sore throat, a broken bone, you name it! Many older people have one shot of rakia in the morning and another before lunch! It can be made of all different kinds of fruit, but the ones from pears are my favorite. That is not to say that the flavor does not take some getting used to! The first taste is like gasoline! But you get used to it. And again, while people drink this stuff and all hours of the day, you rarely see anyone drunk!



Making Rakia

Another amazing thing about my visiting my adopted Serbo-family is the grandmother’s house. She has this amazing home, behind which is a huge vegetable garden. Behind that lies what is called a “summer kitchen,” which is like a second kitchen for cooking in hot weather so your home does not get too hot. Behind the summer kitchen is a sprawling and beautiful backyard. In this beautifully maintained yard is a series of small enclosures, each containing dozens of works of art as the family hosts a sort of artists’ retreat there several times of year. It is amazing! I immediately thought it would be an amazing place for a party, and last time I visited, as it was Caca’s birthday, we were able to do just that! A wonderful, fun party with friends and neighbors and a man with a guitar and another with some sort of Serbian banjo thingy, and amazing homemade food and beautiful cakes…such a warm and wonderful place!


Fountain in Backyard of Grandma's house

Sculpture in back garden of Grandma's house

View from back garden of Grandma's house

Path from Grandma's house to the "summer kitchen"


Family party in backyard of Grandma's house

Cakes from birthday party in backyard

Man with guitar and Serbian banjo at party

It’s hard to describe why I love going to spend time there so much. Part of it is that I love this family so much and we really get along wonderfully. Part of it is that I love the chance to see some of the traditions in this place. Part of it is the consistently wholesome, organic homemade meals! But I think a lot of why I love it so much is that I really love the values and community that underlie this family and their friends. It is so clear that relationships are so much more important than money, and people live simply. They care about their neighbors and friends and take time to enjoy life. This, more than anything else I have experienced here in Serbia, makes it very hard to leave.

Of all the things I love about Serbia and all the things I will miss, it is this family I will miss the most!