An addendum to today's earlier post...

As an addendum to my previous post, I thought I would share a few things I especially enjoy about being here.

A few delightful things about Serbia….

1st – Burek! This is a sort of flaky meat pie (like spanikopita) that you can eat as a very filling breakfast or lunch. It is made fresh at the bakeries each day and it is best with a local plain yogurt poured on top. It is not a low fat food to be sure, but I am allowing myself one indulgence of burek each week!

2nd – Walking! I walk everywhere and I love it! I live at a geographically low point in the city, which is made up of rolling hills, so anywhere I walk is uphill. My jeans are already too big, which is awesome considering the 30 pounds I have packed on in the last year or so in the USA. As the weather gets warmer I will walk even more and will try a few times a week to rent a bike for the very long bike path that runs next to the river. I will also try to do the “100 push-up challenge” my cousin recommended…so I am hoping that, while there is no way I will get back to triathlon shape, while I am here, I will get back in some sort of shape and will drop some of those pesky pounds so that the huge ass will stop following me everywhere!!

3rd – Café culture! No matter the weather, and even more so when the weather is nice, the streets here are always packed with people after work and in the evenings. No matter what age, after work people walk on the pedestrian streets and stop for long chats and coffees in the cafes. You get your coffee and drink it slowly, talking about your day and watching the people walk by.

4th – “Turkish” coffee! I love this stuff! It goes by many regional names depending on where you are…Greek coffee, Bosnian coffee, Turkish coffee…but it all amounts to the same thing. An espresso sized cup with about 3 inches of thick black coffee. At the bottom of the cup sits the grounds, muddy and black. It is so strong and delicious! For me it is quite a treat!

The funny thing to me is that in the fancier cafes here they would never serve it because, to the local people, it is often thought of as old fashioned and out of vogue. People would rather have an Italian style espresso or cappuccino or a starbucks style latte. But for me the Turkish coffee is a special treat that I cannot get at home and I have them here as often as possible.

5th – Taking time to enjoy life! When you go out to a café or out to dinner, the time you are spending there is to be relished. You sip your coffee, wine, or beer and make each one last an hour.

If out to dinner, you order slowly. While eating, you put down your fork between each bite, talk to the person you are with, and make the meal last for hours. The meal IS the event, not something you do in a hurry before getting on to the event. The waiter/waitress does not come over to you (except maybe once to see if you want another drink after your meal is served) unless you signal to him/her. And they would NEVER come and bring you your bill without you asking for it.

When I first get to Europe each time, I often forget that this is common practice and can find myself rushing through my meal and frustrated that the server is not more attentive. Yet, I soon fall into the rhythm and enjoy the idea of savoring both the meal and the company I am with – so much so that when I get back to the US, I feel rushed by the servers and find their constant attention overbearing and intrusive.

6th – Encouragement! OK, so I have mentioned that my language skills are not great. I know some stuff, and I have an OK vocabulary, but I have forgotten many of my words due to lack of practice, and while I am usually pretty good at expressing myself in English, I lose all confidence in Serbian and say “um” and “oh...forget it” a lot when I am speaking in Serbian. However, one thing I have LOVED in the last couple weeks is the encouragement I often get from local people when I speak in Serbian.

Now, sometimes a person to whom I am speaking will say “It is OK if you want to speak in English.” (Which is kind, and I’m sure is meant to make things easier for me as well as to give the person a chance to practice their English). But what I really have enjoyed is the way that many people will say “WOW your Serbian is very good!” Even though I know it is NOT very good! People seem impressed that I am making the effort, and I have been mistaken once for a Greek, a few times for an Italian, and several times for a Pole (which I have been told is because of my accent in Serbian). I am thrilled when people say my accent is good, and when they are not immediately certain that I am a native English speaker. While they certainly can tell I am not a native Serbian speaker, I feel excited and encouraged when they think I am Polish because at least that is a Slavic language!

This encouragement makes me want to speak more, and more importantly allows me to relax a little so I can listen better. I am finding that instead of trying to translate every word that is being said, I am getting better at relaxing my ears and trying to take in the message as a whole. Still, because I can say quite a few things, people sometimes think I am better understanding this language than I actually am, and then they start talking way too fast (which is better than not talking to me at all I suppose). But, I sometimes catch myself getting stuck on a word I do not know and then I have lost the rest of whatever is being said to me. I then usually respond by saying "Again please" or "slower please" but if someone repeats several times I start to feel stupid, and in those cases it is totally possible that I have said "yes" to totally inappropriate or incorrect things just to end the immediate humilation! To help with this, I have been listening to the news in Serbian to get used to the rhythm and speed of the language.

Further, I must say that an hour of Serbian conversation still leaves me exhausted because I need to really focus on every word being said - both to me and by me - but maybe this will help me become a better listener in general in my life.

While there are still many awkward interactions (like trying to order ¼ kilogram of sliced meat when I can only remember how to say ½ - so I say ½ of ½ and they look confused…or trying to figure out what I have done to incur the wrath of the shouting check-out lady at the grocery store while the people in the line behind me roll their eyes indignantly – I cannot tell if their eye-rolling is in support of me or the check-out woman) the largely encouraging responses have really boosted my confidence.

One of the most difficult things has been catching what people say to me off-handedly in unprepared conversation – like on the street or in the hallway or at the store. The reason for this, I gather, is that I am trained to hear/comprehend in English, and I have to consciously attend to a message in Serbian. When someone says something to me offhandedly, it takes me a minute to switch, and I often do not “hear” them right away. About a minute later it dawns on me that they are speaking to me, and what it is that they are saying. I think this will get better with time, as I gain more confidence and put myself in more “spontaneous” conversation situations.

One of the best language experiences (though not really a positive interaction) has been with a neighbor. Now I had previously mentioned the fact that I am waking at ungodly hours of the morning because I have not yet adjusted to the time change. When I wake I have coffee and cereal, and then clean-up my flat before taking my shower. I live on the top floor here, so I am not all together clear on how the sound may carry from my flat, but since I have rarely heard neighbors, I assumed that all was well.

Well…while I usually intentionally try to leave my apartment when I know that no one else is waiting for the elevator (to avoid the terror of unprepared Serbian conversation) as I came into the building on Sunday I found myself in the elevator with one of my neighbors – a woman about 50 yrs old.

She first asked me if I lived in the building. I told her I am new here and I live on the 6th floor.

“Oh!” she said rather ominously “6th floor! You are very noisy!”

I was shocked! I have only had guests twice and each for less than ½ hour! I go to bed super early, do not watch TV, and turn off my music very early.

“I am sorry, very strongly sorry! I did not know.” I said to her in Serbian “Is it my shoes?”

“Yes” she said “It is your shoes, but more often it is the doors. I hear you closing the doors and windows at all hours!”

“Are you sure this sound is me?” I asked “I go to bed quite early and I no had guests.”

“Yes! It is you. I hear you at 4am, 5am, 6am – up all hours making noise!”

“I am strongly sorry!” I said “I do not know that my loud sound is a problem. My sleeping is still not normal because I have jet lag. I will try hard to be more quiet. And please if you have a problems with my loud sound, please come to my door and have conversation with me. I want to be a good comrade [though I meant to say neighbor]. I am strongly sorry!”

She then smiled at me and her tone changed. “You are a Greek girl, yes?”

“No ma’am. I am from Philadelphia – USA.”

“Oh…USA…well your Serbian is very good. How do you learn Serbian in USA?”

“I have studied with teachers from Serbia and Bosnia who live in USA.”

“And what are you doing here in Belgrade?”

“I am professor of students at the Faculty of Political Sciences.”

“You are not a politician are you? We do not like your George Bush. But congratulations for Obama. We like him very much.”

“No ma’am I am not a politician. I only teach students about political things. And thank you. I also like Obama very much.”

“Well…OK ‘Miss America.’ [said in English] Enjoy Belgrade.”

“Thank you ma’am and again I am strongly sorry for my own loud sound. I will try hard to be better quiet.”

“yes. You should wear softer shoes - slippers.”

OK, so not exactly the best first interaction with neighbors, but at least I was able to speak and understand! I felt ashamed that I had been too loud, and doubly so because people think of Americans as generally very loud and unaware of how loud we are – so I am always trying to overcompensate as if I have to show them that we are capable of being quiet…but even by American standards I am very loud, so this is not an easy task for me!

Anyhow…I will sign off now. Just wanted to share some of the more positive things I am enjoying here in Belgrade. Until next time…

Xina