xina's exciting exploits

My last few months in Belgrade

2009-10-18T18:39:00.003-04:00

Oh…so sad! It is my last two months now in Serbia. Actually two months from today! I have been so happy here – I have really come to love it! And I am really sad to have to say goodbye to my life here and especially to my friends.

In my remaining time here I will be teaching two classes, one in Women’s Studies and one in American Studies (on the Civil Rights Movement). I will also be completing two book chapters for publication and continuing my volunteer work. I need to make a trip to Sarajevo still, and hope to get back to Crvenka at least once (preferably twice).

Since I’ve been back (mid-August) I’ve done some traveling, have spent some time with good friends, and have generally been trying to enjoy everything about Belgrade – savoring it bite by bite!

The Serbo-summer was long and lovely, but sometime last week it went from 70 - 80 degrees everyday to barely 40 degrees! I am hoping Fall comes back here next week! It just slipped by in the night!

I’ve been working, of course, but have really also been trying to find time to appreciate my wonderful friends and the last few moments of this amazing experience.

So much has changed! I mean when I got here I was so confused and things were so difficult – my daily life I mean. Now all those little things are so easy! I mean there are still days that suck, and times that things are hard, but my language skills have improved, I have a perfect number of friends that I like very much, I have a routine, and places I like to go…I am settled! I even joined a really beautiful gym recently. I had been walking for exercise on the path near the river, and I had passed this gorgeous gym every day. I finally decided to join and while it was not cheap, it is really cool! The work-out space overlooks the Danube and Sava rivers so you watch the world go by while you do your cardio! GREAT!

It’s funny to me that as the new American Fulbright grantees arrive, their frustrations are so similar to mine when I first arrived, and yet those things seem so far away for me now! I’ve adjusted to and come to love the loose conception of time, the multiple daily coffee breaks, and the culture in general.

Of course I am not blind to all of the things that need to change politically, and I am not blind to the poverty and daily problems people face here. I will continue to write about and work on these issues of course. It’s just that, all those things aside, I have become really happy with my daily life here.

A small example of this – last night me and some friends went to see local pop-star Severina in concert. We met up at my place first, had drinks and snacks and watched hilarious videos of horrible local turbo-folk pop stars. We then went to the show. Severina is like a Balkan Madonna, and her show was a sold-out arena spectacular! I had seen Severina before when I was in Dubrovnik, Croatia, but that was a much smaller venue – maybe 1,000 people at most. This was sooo different!

Sadly our seats were pretty bad. We had bought tickets in the standing section so we could dance, but there was no way to see the stage, and that was a shame b/c she had dancers and glitter cannons and disco balls and video footage behind her and props and special guest stars and all kinds of things! If only she had like 2 video screens mounted on the sides so that those of us in the “cheap seats” could see her, it would have been perfect!

Still, we danced and sang and really had a great time. Most of the audience knew every single song, and there was a group of high school girls in front of us who sang and danced and cried and hugged and really were enthused by every single song. I know a lot of her songs, having purchased her “greatest hits” CD about 7 years ago after seeing her shopping in a music shop in Zagreb. I then used her music to help with language study, and as such I do know a few of her songs by heart. I even translated a few of them for language study, so I actually understand the words! But for most of them, I know many of the words, but don’t fully understand the songs – I guess like when most non-native English speakers learn American pop-songs when they’re young!

Still the concert was fantastic! She played for nearly 3 hours with no intermission, and changed costume like 5 times! It was great!!

The way that people enjoy life here – the way they cherish their relationships more than money – this is something I am really going to miss. Not to idealize it. But just to stress that I have come to a point where I really love it here – the culture, the people and my life here.

I’ll try to write more again when I can. Thanks for reading.

Istanbul - Super Cool!

2009-10-18T17:14:00.008-04:00

So, when I knew I was coming to Serbia for the year I vowed that I would try to see a few countries that I had never been to. Having a Turkish friend, “M” who I had known from my time in Holland I had planned to take a trip to Istanbul for a visit. As usual, although I had thought I would go in spring, I had become quite busy, and the plan was pushed back. But, finally, in September, I was able to make that trip to Istanbul along with my friend “A” (my Serbian friend who lives now in Holland) who was very good friends with “M” during their university study.

I am not sure what I expected Istanbul to be like really. I think my impressions were shaped in part by American Islamophobia, in part by my experiences in Holland (where many of the sketchy drug dealers are Turkish men and many of the Turkish women you see are very traditional), and in large part by the stereotypes of Turks that are so prevalent in the Balkans. With all of this I had imagined a somewhat wild frontier, with no road rules, covered women, dark mustachioed men, “Turkish toilets,” and goodness knows what else. This impression was only exaggerated by the fact that the day before we arrived in Istanbul there was a torrential rain that led to a huge flood that killed numerous people.

Well, I must say that am a little ashamed that I had such a negative idea of what Istanbul would be like – and idea formed by stereotypes I did not even know I held. And I am so happy that I went to Istanbul and am so glad to change my opinions because Istanbul was nothing like anything I had pictured in my head!

First of all, it is so so so cosmopolitan! When I first arrived, “A” was already there, and she and “M” came to meet me at the airport. We took the exceptionally clean, safe and well-maintained metro to the neighborhood where our friend lives. He runs a bakery and sweets shop, and his apartment is just above the shop. We first dropped off our things in his apartment, said hello to his two adorable Dalmatians and his equally awesome cat, and headed off to the local grocery store to get some supplies. As soon as we walked into the store I was pleasantly overwhelmed with color and selection! So many beautiful fruits and veggies, isles and isles of choices of everything! “M” laughed at me because he said I acted like I had never been in a grocery store before, but having been in Serbia for so long, and having had an idea that Turkey was like some far-flung outpost, I was both thrilled and impressed!

So, our friend “M” is a great cook and a great host and we went back to his place for dinner. We spent the first night catching up, playing with his pets and hanging out. The next morning, after breakfast, we headed out for our first day of exploring.

We took the metro to the main shopping area and again I was pleasantly overwhelmed by all the choices! Every store that you could imagine from all over Europe and the USA was there – plus about 100 Starbucks! Further, it was soon quickly clear that Turkish people come in every color and are of many different ethnic groups and, contrary to my ill-informed assumption, despite being Ramadan, there were very few covered women. On top of that, there were so many tourists from all over the world, and it seemed totally normal to smile in the street, and to speak English (unlike in Belgrade where I feel a bit stupid doing either!)

We wandered the streets and “M” showed us all the sites in this modern part of Istanbul. But, like Athens or Rome, Istanbul has thousands of years of history and there are many parts of the city from all different eras! We walked from the modern shopping street to the river where you are standing at the edge of Europe, looking over into Asia! COOL!

Modern Istanbul shopping street

A view of Asia from the edge of Europe!

We then proceeded to what is known as the Spice Market. Unlike the Grande Bazaar – which is so widely known – the Spice Market is still actually frequented by locals. It was so amazing! So beautiful! And we were really lucky to be with a local because I think we got the most authentic experience. We spent ages walking around, looking at everything, tasting local cheeses and sweets, and looking at local crafts, textiles, etc.

Spice Bazzar

Spice Baazar

Spice Bazaar

In the late afternoon that day, the local government put out a warning of another potential flood and so we went home early, made dinner together, and “A” helped “M” make his cookie order for the next day while I read to them from various websites.

Some of the cookies from our host's bakery shop

Our Host's bakery and sweets shop

The next day I wanted to see the famed Grande Bazaar. We spent a few hours there, wandering, haggling, watching in awe! It is really interesting and HUGE! It spans maybe 12 city blocks or more!

Grand Baazar

Grande Baazar

We then went on to see the famous Aya Sofia (an old Christian church that then became a mosque and is now a museum) and finished the day at the Blue Mosque (the largest mosque outside of Mecca). We spent hours inside of Aya Sofia and “M” was an amazing guide as he had led tour groups there before, so it was like a private tour! As we worked our way over to the Blue Mosque, “A” and I put on our head-scarves which were required in the mosque out of respect. We then spent about 20 minutes taking pictures of ourselves in the scarves, whereby we actually missed the last entry time to the Blue Mosque! (yes, we felt like idiots!). We made our way home, had dinner together and crashed.

Inside Aya Sofia

Inside Aya Sofia - where they are excavating the Christian Icons from under the Islamic Art

Inside Aya Sofia - the alter space

Inside Aya Sofia

Aya Sofia from the outside

Blue Mosque

Courtyard of Blue Mosque

Blue Mosque as seen from Aya Sofia

Blue Mosque

The next day we were to go to Asia! We took the boat to the Asian continent and explored the city on that side for a while. We then met up with a friend of “M” and walked around a bit, enjoying the natural beauty of the place. Afterward we went back to “M”’s house for our meal and played with the pets again. It was so great to be around these pets! They all loved me and all wanted to touch me constantly and it made me miss having a pet around sooo much!

Coming back from Asia

One of our host's Dalmations and the cat

The other Dalmatian

On my last day I went to try to see the Blue Mosque again, and was closed out for a funeral. I met “M” at one of the city’s huge mega-malls, and in the evening I caught my flight back to Belgrade.

I am thrilled to have had the chance to go to Istanbul and really had a great time. “M” was an amazing host and guide, and the three of us thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. I can’t wait to go back to Istanbul. I could easily live there and will certainly go back for a visit. It is an amazing place and I feel like I have a fuller worldview because of my time there!

I wish I could say so much more in so much more detail, but I'm afraid that is all I can manage for now. Just wanted to share a few things and some pics.

As Always...thanks for reading!

My Serbo-Family in Crvenka

2009-10-18T16:20:00.005-04:00

In the last few months I have been travelling to Crvenka (in Vojvodina – north Serbia) to visit my landlord’s family every few weeks. I love it so much and have adopted them as my Serbian family! I feel I have really gotten an authentic perspective on Serbian culture from my time there. Although the Vojvodina region is unique in Serbia due to its largely multi-ethnic make-up (somewhere around 50% of Vojvodina is not of Serb ethnicity with many ethnic-Hungarians, ethnic-Germans, ethnic-Romanians, etc.) there are still important aspects of the every-day culture there that are fantastically representative of the best aspects of traditional Serbian culture. Foremost among these things is the hospitality!

In Belgrade, being a big city, I had not really been able to see this part of Serbian culture, though I had heard and read much about it. In fact, I had begun to think of it as a myth! But with my Serbian family in Crvenka I have felt so welcome and so at home that every time I visit it is hard to leave!

So let me back up and explain a little bit… The parents, Aci & Caca, are in their 40s. Aci is an ethnically German Serb, descended from a group of protestant Germans that settled in Vojvodina in the 17th and 18th century. After the Second World War, many of these ethnic Germans were imprisoned and/or driven out of the region (regardless of whether they were aligned with the Nazis or not – and most of them were not), and those that remained were stripped of their land and possessions under communism. Their land and possessions were re-distributed, mostly to settlers from Montenegro. There are all kinds of mythic stories in the area about the ways the Montenegrin settlers reacted to the technological advancements they found in the ethnically-German homes in which they were resettled, including utter confusion about indoor plumbing, tiled floors and stone fireplaces, but it’s hard to tell what is stereotype and what is true. The stories claim that the Montenegrins that came to Vojvodina were mainly peasants who had lived in earthen homes with dirt floors and without plumbing, but again I cannot attest to that with certainty.

Anyhow, Aci, my Serbo-family patriarch, comes from the ethnic-Germans, and identifies somewhat as such, but really seems to have a much larger allegiance to Yugoslavia. Aci moved to Belgrade with his family (his mother a professor and his father a veterinarian) when he was beginning high-school, and his mentality is quite cosmopolitan. He then went to university here in Belgrade and then worked on movie sets through the 1980s as many international films were shot here during that time. He and I spend hours talking about current events, history, local and global politics…quiet certainly we have solved all the world’s problems over a bottle of whiskey about 30 times over ;-)

The matriarch, Caca, is from a Serbian-Montenegrin family. She also studied in Belgrade and went to university for Travel and Tourism. She now runs a lovely resort/hotel in the town that neighbors Crvenka – Kula. She and I have become very close friends. We talk on the phone several times a week and I feel so much more comfortable here in Serbia knowing that she is there for me. Like for example, I know if I got sick, she would come to the doctor with me. Or if I needed to talk, or when I have questions about language or culture or whatever…she is there for me. We both feel we can talk to each other about anything! This is a great feeling here as a foreigner!

The couple met in Belgrade, and fell in love. Had it not been for the war, they would have likely stayed here, but with a new baby and the streets growing increasingly dangerous and the city increasingly expensive, the couple and their baby boy returned in Crvenka in the 1990s.

Their son, now 19, is named Julius and he is definitely one of the coolest kids I’ve met here in Serbia. When I met him he was in high-school, had hair down to his waist and was the guitar player for a locally popular punk-band. At the same time, he’s smart, funny and really globally aware. He has just started university here in Belgrade a couple weeks ago, and now lives across the street from me so he and I get together for coffee a couple times a week.

OK, so that is a quick orientation of who they are. So, how I know them…

When I arrived last January, they were here waiting for me (as they are my landlords). We instantly liked each other and they were a huge help for me in getting settled. Each month when they would come to collect the rent, we would sit for a couple of hours, drink coffee and chat. Sometimes the whole family would come, sometimes just two of them. Their stories were so interesting and we came to find that we shared a similar worldview and held the same opinions and sympathies in a lot of areas. Soon they invited me to come and spent a weekend at their place in the village – Crvenka.

Well, as you might imagine, I saw myself as far too busy to take the time to go there and I was worried that I would feel uncomfortable in someone else’s house, etc. I had intended to go in spring, but things got really busy for me here in Belgrade, so before I left for my vacation in the USA, we made a plan for me to come for a visit the weekend immediately after my return to Belgrade…and so I did.

I had intended to stay for 2 nights and enjoyed myself so much that I stayed for 5 days! They are so laid back and so cool and we just sit for hours and talk and laugh! Meanwhile, all of their friends from the village come and go throughout the day and there are some really interesting characters!

Anyhow, after my first stay in Crvenka, I was surprised by how much I missed this family, and they missed me! I decided that I would go back for my birthday weekend. I had promised to make them an American meal. As the son had asked specifically for Sloppy Joes I made that with guacamole…and I was thrilled that it was such a hit! Since then I have been back every few weeks! Also, at Julius’s request I had a package sent to him from the USA with all sorts of American junkfood (cheese whiz, mac n cheese, pop tarts, Doritos, etc.). I also included in the package, since he and his friends love to play board games, a few good games – Uno, Phase 10, Othello and Settlers of Cattan.

So, when I am there in the village I really enjoy myself! One time we spent the weekend making rakia – the local home made brandy. The family has several types of pear trees in their yard and so twice a year they make rakia from the pears. It was sooo cool! One of the villagers brings over a huge distillery and the cooking of the pears begins about 7am. All the day the men work on making the rakia (and finishing off the last batch) as well as tending to the grill while the women make coffee and other such things. The air smelled so wonderful with the scent of these cooking pears! The next day the local expert comes over and tests the batch to be sure it is of the correct balance, and then it is ready for drinking! The funny thing about rakia in Serbia is that most families make some kind of rakia, every rakia maker thinks his is the very best, and everyone in the country thinks rakia is the cure for everything! A sore throat, a broken bone, you name it! Many older people have one shot of rakia in the morning and another before lunch! It can be made of all different kinds of fruit, but the ones from pears are my favorite. That is not to say that the flavor does not take some getting used to! The first taste is like gasoline! But you get used to it. And again, while people drink this stuff and all hours of the day, you rarely see anyone drunk!

Making Rakia

Another amazing thing about my visiting my adopted Serbo-family is the grandmother’s house. She has this amazing home, behind which is a huge vegetable garden. Behind that lies what is called a “summer kitchen,” which is like a second kitchen for cooking in hot weather so your home does not get too hot. Behind the summer kitchen is a sprawling and beautiful backyard. In this beautifully maintained yard is a series of small enclosures, each containing dozens of works of art as the family hosts a sort of artists’ retreat there several times of year. It is amazing! I immediately thought it would be an amazing place for a party, and last time I visited, as it was Caca’s birthday, we were able to do just that! A wonderful, fun party with friends and neighbors and a man with a guitar and another with some sort of Serbian banjo thingy, and amazing homemade food and beautiful cakes…such a warm and wonderful place!

Fountain in Backyard of Grandma's house

Sculpture in back garden of Grandma's house

View from back garden of Grandma's house

Path from Grandma's house to the "summer kitchen"

Family party in backyard of Grandma's house

Cakes from birthday party in backyard

Man with guitar and Serbian banjo at party

It’s hard to describe why I love going to spend time there so much. Part of it is that I love this family so much and we really get along wonderfully. Part of it is that I love the chance to see some of the traditions in this place. Part of it is the consistently wholesome, organic homemade meals! But I think a lot of why I love it so much is that I really love the values and community that underlie this family and their friends. It is so clear that relationships are so much more important than money, and people live simply. They care about their neighbors and friends and take time to enjoy life. This, more than anything else I have experienced here in Serbia, makes it very hard to leave.

Of all the things I love about Serbia and all the things I will miss, it is this family I will miss the most!

The terrorists have won: A Sad commentary on the state of freedom and human rights in Serbia...

2009-09-19T07:14:00.003-04:00

Even more troubling than my own inner conflict on whether to attend tomorrow's PRIDE event in Belgrade, as of today the event was cancelled b/c of the extreme threat of violence and the fact that not even the police could guarantee the saftey of the participants.

It is a sad fucked-up thing that the Serbian government and general population would rather allow a few right wing extremists dictate the direction of the entire nation.

Everyone...every individual is responsible for creating the community and world they want to live in.

Yes...I was scared to participate, but I thought it was such an important moment. A moment so much larger than a commentary on gay rights. A moment where Serbian people had a chance to stand up and say that they wanted to live in a world with more possibilities...a world with a broader future. A world where civil discourse and debate creates civil society, not half-wit football hooligans and criminals with baseball bats and alcohol infused group-mentality machismo. Instead it seems that he who hath the bigger gun has won.

Here are a few articles about the opposition to the PRIDE.

http://sofiaecho.com/2009/09/17/786427_belgrade-pride-parade-is-sodom-and-gomorrah-says-serbian-orthodox-church

http://www.bleedingcool.com/2009/09/18/belgrades-pride-in-its-superheroes-here-they-come-to-save-the-gay/

http://www.b92.net/eng/news/politics-article.php?yyyy=2009&mm=09&dd=19&nav_id=61848

PRIDE vs. "Nerf Life"... "Sittin' on your biscuit, never havin' to risk it": My quest to do the right thing...

2009-09-18T17:44:00.003-04:00

Ugh! I have a consuming dilemma. So consuming that I have had a constant nagging headache for 3 days and I can’t sleep and every moment I am still I am ruminating. I am not sure I have ever felt so morally conflicted!

So Sunday is the Pride parade here in Belgrade. Now I have been an active gay rights activist in the USA for nearly 20 years, so on the surface it is a “no brainer” right? But here’s where it gets complicated…

The last time they tried to hold a Pride event in Belgrade it became horribly violent with the right-wing nut-jobs beating the demonstrators with bats, etc. Many ended up in the hospital and one nearly died. Fast forward to now…one would think from our own lifetime of experience that cultures progress, but that does not seem to be the reality of things in the world today.

Even in Budapest, where on several occasions in the last 10 years I have attended and enjoyed fun and festive Pride parades, this year’s event was marred by violence and several people I know personally were beaten bad enough to be put in the hospital.

But that is there…as far from me in Belgrade as Chicago is from New York.

OK, but much if not all of Europe (and maybe the world) seems to have an increasingly loud and violent far-right neo-Nazi-esque movement. And honestly, Serbia is the rule rather than the exception…I would even argue the “trend setters” in this capacity.

Here you have a country dripping with machismo, which a largely snickers at if not glorifies organized crime, where residual post-war travel restrictions in conjunction with post-war poverty have made it nearly impossible for Serbs to travel. Add to that a strange mytho-historical dominant discourse that is propagated unchallenged from kindergarten through adulthood and reinforced in media an pop-culture and as a result you have younger generations who seem increasingly myopic and small-minded.

People are getting ever more religious, girls are getting pregnant younger, young people are not finishing school, etc. All of these factors make for a certain population of angry, despondent, hopeless, uneducated youth who, while not truly ideological, are happy to unleash their anger on whatever they are pointed toward.

Now within this mish-mash you have a loud and prevalent national attitude toward homosexuality that at best views gay-ness as an illness and at worst a sub-human perversity against nature which should be wiped off the planet. All of this makes for a pretty scary and aggressive right-wing movement – to say the least. One that makes O’Reilly and Glen Beck look like banal toothless kittens, Ann Coulter & Sarah Palin look like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Clever, and Dick Cheney look like a doddering old fool!

So….like I said, I have actively worked for gay rights in the USA since I was like 17 or 18. Naturally it would make sense that I would support the Pride activities here in Belgrade. After all most people I know who are progressively minded are participating, and the cause is something I totally believe in. And quite honestly, most people here, even if they believe homosexuality to be a sin or an illness, they still do not want to kill gay people. But the problem is that loud, vocal and violent minority – which is not actually a small number!

As the Pride events draw closer, these groups have organized an equally public campaign for a counter-protest and have openly promised to be violent and aggressive toward both the Pride demonstrators and the police. I have heard promises of baseball bats, oranges stuffed with razor blades, gang rape, tear gas and other unspeakable horrors. They are advertising in the newspapers, on the internet and through graffiti in the streets.

Now, the president here has promised thousands of police and most politicians, even if not in open support of the GLBT community, have voiced support of their right to demonstrate. Further, a large community of artists, journalists, actors and other public personalities have been very public and open about their support.

Still, this violent opposition seems very well organized, and who knows what the police will actually do when it comes down to it.

Will they protect the GLBT supportive demonstrators? Will they use live ammunition if necessary? (In that case I can only think of Kent State in the 60s – who knows who will get hit). Will they step aside and let the right wingers attack?

At the same time, how can I even question my participation? I mean it is easy to sit home in the USA and state that I support (or don’t support) something when the worst I can expect is some harshly wounding words. But when it really counts, when it really matters, when there is a real risk, shouldn’t it be more important to stand up for my beliefs? Shouldn’t it be more important to turn-out when there is a real threat to the values I hold dear – people’s right to live free from the physical fear of violent death? It is reminiscent of the US Civil Rights Movement when people really took their lives into their hands to advocate for justice and equality. And if it wasn’t for those people, just imagine what our country would look like now.

Still there is the argument that this is not actually my country. And then there is the fact that I actually need my full brain for my living. And honestly I am really scared…maybe more scared than I have ever been. I can’t sleep. My head aches for 3 days now…like a mouse is in my skull eating away at my brain. My conscience tells me that to demonstrate is the right thing. It is a human rights issue. It is dear to my heart. And quite honestly, with no kids and no husband, I am actually exactly the person who should be out there. But the fear is like nothing I have ever felt.

I also believe that each individual is responsible for creating the society that s/he wants to live in…that we are all responsible for what our communities and by extension our world looks like. You can pick up your feet and go with the current, but then you are really just a cog in the machine. A leaf on the wind. If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

ARGH! I am so conflicted! I keep going back and forth between deciding that I am going no matter what and hoping I come down with a horrible fever. This may seriously be the most conflicted I have ever felt. I know what the right thing to do is, but I am selfishly afraid to do it. Afraid to risk my one stupid precious self for the greater good. A braver person would not be in conflict! A braver person would be able to commit to the fact that no individual is greater than the collective good.

You know, I talk to my students about this a lot. Each of us imagines that we would have been the one to have saved our Jewish neighbor during the Holocaust. Or that we would be the one to have stood up against Apartheid in South Africa. In fact, if you are American and you are old enough, you may have even taken part in anti-Apartheid actions in the USA. Oh how easy and black-and-white things seem from far away. From far away the RIGHT and WRONG choices are so easy to see, and we all imagine that we would have been able to see it, and would easily have been strong enough to do the right thing.

Well…sorry to burst your bubble, but the truth is, 99% of us would not have stood up and risked ourselves to save the Jewish neighbor. Genocide is not made possible by the tiny percentage of people who actually engage in violence - it is made possible by the majority of people who look the other way...the bystanders who are too afraid or too selfish to or too stupid to think for themselves!

And while for most of us, the betrayal of our Jewish neighbor would have been simply self preservation, many would even have bought into Nazi ideology to rationalize their ugly choice! (We would have bought into the argument that Sadaam had Weapons of Mass Destruction for example, and that our government always has our best interest in mind).

I mean think of the Stanley Milgram experiments people! (If you don't know about it...look it up!) I think like only one person refused…and he was a Dutch guy that learned certain lessons from WWII.

Seriously…our self-preservation mechanism is sooo strong! Ever tried to wax your own bikini area or pluck out your nose hairs? Some people can do it no problem. Most…well after the first few strips their arms will no longer obey their brain…they just cannot inflict any more pain on themselves.

So at this point my thinking is that I am going to go to the demonstration…but I am going to wear running shoes! I wish I had a helmet and pepper spray, but I don’t. I want to bring a sock full of rocks to swing just in case or a mini-hair-spray with a lighter to fashion a blow-torch, but since I am going as part of an anti-militarist peace organization, I am not sure that would go over very well.

But here’s the naked truth…it is Friday night and I cannot guarantee that I won’t change my mind by Sunday morning. I also cannot guarantee that I won’t pee my pants and run away in fear once I get there.

On the other hand…they cannot possibly beat all of us down, and how can I pursue the things I care about and write about if I am not willing to live it – to live what I believe. How can I live a “nerf life” just “sittin’ on your biscuit, never having to risk it” and still advocate for larger global social justice if I am not willing to put myself out there for something I believe in?

Why should I be safe and fat and happy and live in my little McDonalds/Walmart bubble while others are suffering just b/c I had the fortune of being born in a certain place? Why should my life and safety (or any one person’s life or safety) matter more than anyone else’s? “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or the one”… right? “No one is free until all are free”…right? It may not be my country, but we are all human and I am living here…I am alive here…and I owe a debt to my principles if not to my host nation, right?

So that is the dilemma – risk my biscuit for what I believe in and perhaps get hurt…or stay safe at home and hate myself for being weak…for basically being the person who turned my Jewish neighbor over to the Nazis.

What would you do?

Back in Serbia...

2009-08-31T19:59:00.002-04:00

So…this is it! I have arrived back in Serbia and am here until late December. While here I will teach a graduate course in American Studies (on the Civil Rights Movement), will teach in the Women’s Studies Center and will continue my work with WiB. I will also work on the book.

Then, I go back to the US for Spring semester. Teach at my university there in NJ for the term. And plan to then return to Serbia for the 15th anniversary of the Srebrenica massacre – so I hope to be here from mid-May through mid-July. Then I will feel like I have really completed what I started here.

After that – I will come back to USA, teach in NJ for another year and then take stock again. Will I stay at this job? Will I apply for another academic job in a place I’d rather live? Or will I try to get a job with the UN or some other international organization? It all remains to be seen!

But for the short-term – well, I finally went to the north of Serbia, in the province of Vojvodina to visit the family of my landlords in a small town called Crvenka (pop. 10,000). I had been invited since I first got here in January, but had been putting it off b/c I thought I had too much to do here in Belgrade. Well, the truth is that this trip was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time!

They are a perfectly wonderful family first of all! After the first day I felt completely at home! The husband and wife are in their late 40s and their son in a teenager – about to start university in fall. Mostly we hung out at their place, out on their porch, and all the day long friends would stop by for a coffee and a chat. It was so cozy and warm and wonderful! It was great to have healthy home cooked meals. It was great to hang out and debate politics and ideas. It was a great chance to practice my language as many of their friends do not speak English. And I felt so welcomed that when I left I actually felt sad and missed them!

Their home is modest, but full of warmth. In their backyard are tons of fruit trees so there is always fresh peaches, pears and plums on the table (and he uses the rest to make rakia – the local liquor). Then, as neighbors stop by, they all bring other things from their gardens! Wonderful!

When I first arrived I planned to stay only 3 days, but I ended up staying 5 days, partly b/c they were having a BBQ for me on day 4. It was so awesome! Such fresh meat and veggies and so many wonderful people.

The whole experience reminded me that I really love living in a place with community. I prefer smaller towns to big cities and I love being able to walk everywhere and to know so many people in your community.

They are coming here at the end of this week, and I am having them over to dinner for my b-day. I might then go back to Crvenka with them for a few days…we’ll see.

Then, next weekend, I am going to Istanbul! I have never been before. I am excited! Going with my old friend “A” and we are staying with another friend of hers from university. Woo-Hoo!
OK…that is all I can manage to write today. I have made many posts today…all in the interest of catching up and I can hardly think now. Hope to keep up blog better now that I am back again in Serbia.

Thanks for reading…

Xina

taking stock as my next birthday approaches...

2009-08-31T19:40:00.000-04:00

So living a somewhat multi-national life has made me feel like I am in the show “Quantum Leap.” I jump from one existence to the next at a moment’s notice and feel disoriented and imbalanced for the first little bit! But all of this has given me some time to think about some things…

So I am turning 36 next week. YUCK! It is hard to even write it down! What does it mean? How do I measure up? What do I still want to do? Just generally taking stock.

I have realized that there are a lot of things about my life that I am very happy about. I have really great friends all over the world! I have a career that I love and that I am truly passionate about. I am an independent thinker who may be financially solvent for the first time ever! I have travelled to many places in the US and abroad. Basically, when I look back over my life I have to say that I have largely done what I have wanted when I have wanted.

Now this does not mean I have been able to do everything I want – often I have been faced with choices and taking one path means abandoning the other. But it does mean that largely I have made this life my own – sometimes inside and sometimes outside the boundaries of societal expectations. And while this has also meant that I have made many mistakes in my life, I think that I am not one of those “old soul” people who are inherently wise and make well-considered choices. I am impulsive and have often had to learn things the hard way! This also means I am tenacious, and rarely hear the word “NO” as a definitive roadblock. I embrace challenges and look for solutions. I speak my mind and am not afraid to argue a point. I stick up for people who may be “weak” when I see they are in unfair situations. I am generally adventurous and adaptable.

All things I am happy with.

Now…as I take stock of my 36 years, there are also things that I am not so happy with. I find it hard to say “no” to people, or to hurt people’s feelings so I often practice avoidance. I am easily influenced to indulge my proclivities (drinking, smoking, eating crap, skipping exercise). I am overly critical of myself and sometimes of others. I often think emotionally rather than rationally. I let other people’s opinions sway my decisions too much. I am not always as sensitive to others as I should be, and am a bit self-centered.

And as I look at my turning 36 I realize that there are some things I still want out of life and some things I want to work to change in the coming year…

1st – I think it would be great to be able to buy a house or a condo! (I think this will happen either in a year or so if I decide to stay at my current job or will happen whenever/wherever I take my next job)

2nd – I would really like to get a dog – and I think I want a foxy little Pomeranian! (will happen when I get a house)

3rd – I vow to get back in shape! This is not such a far fetched task. It was only 3 years ago that I was actually quite fit and healthy. So really I just need to get back in control of my exercise and eating habits. (already starting now! Began vegan detox diet and daily exercise. This is Phase 1. Really trying to stick with it. I hate feeling unhealthy and flabby! But they say “muscle never forgets” so I am hoping that some healthy eating and exercise now and then some concentrated gym time when I get back to USA should get me where I need to be by next summer!)

4th – I want to live somewhere that I really WANT to live! I have put this off over and over again. If I stay at my current job, I think I need to move to Phillie – I need human contact and community! Otherwise, if I seek a different job, I WILL live somewhere I really want to live – either somewhere warm, somewhere in Europe OR at least somewhere with a sense of community.

5th – When I get back to the US, I want to make all the numerous doctor appointments I have been putting off – allergist, dermatologist, and therapist! Especially therapist. I think a few months of therapy could be a good thing for any adult.

SO I guess this is all rambling, but I feel like if I write it down I am somewhat committed to it. Self improvement! Being a better ME.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time…

Xina

My summer holiday at the Jersey Shore...

2009-08-31T19:16:00.003-04:00

After the trip to Eastern Serbia I had two days to pack and clean my house. I was scheduled to leave for a month holiday in the USA right away. The last 6 weeks here in Serbia had been an intense whirlwind, but I loved every minute of it and had gotten so involved in my work here that I almost didn’t want to go home! Still, the thought of being at the beach for a month did sound enticing!

When in the US I live on an island near Atlantic City, so in the summer it is something of a genuine pleasure! I ride my bike around the island, jog on the beach and swim in the ocean. Now you may have heard a lot of things about the Jersey Shore, and some may be exaggerations, some may be truth. Not being from the region originally myself I feel like I get an outsiders view of things here!

So, I have no idea what the North Jersey Shore towns are like. Basically the island I live on is sort of like the first point on the South Jersey Shore. Each of the shore towns has its own personality. The place where I live is more like a nature beach and is family oriented. No boardwalk. Only a couple bars (though 2 of them are open 24 hrs!) Just a few restaurants. A golf course. A huge marshland that is a protected bird sanctuary. And while there are a lot of families and summer folks, during the year the island is mostly populated by fisherman, casino workers and families that have lived on the island for generations. In winter the place is a ghost town – which has its benefits and drawbacks!

Then you have Atlantic City, which is lots of fun when you have guests but is not really like a cultural center or anything. The beach there is kind of trashy. You see a lot of sad people – drug addicts, gambling addicts, and the like. But, all that said, AC is not as trashy as people think. The boardwalk is pretty cool. Rides, games, shops, bars, restaurants and “massage parlors.” You also have a beautiful elitist mega-mall, and really a lot of shows and attractions in general. Like I said – it is a great place when you have guests. Very entertaining! But not such a fun city on your own. It’s not as if they have a 1st Friday gallery hop or anything!

After AC you have Margate & Ventor. From what I can tell, these are the spots where very wealthy people live. Amazing houses. Clean beaches. Some good restaurants. But it also seems that Ventnor has a somewhat significant year-round population. Margate is famous for this huge plaster elephant that is like 100 years old or something called “Lucy the Elephant.”

Now after this I get a little confused about the order, and I may leave a few out here, but I think next you have Somer’s Point. I have not spent a lot of time here, but I get the impression that it is a place that is fun for people in their 30s and 40s – like Yuppies perhaps? I could be wrong.

Then Ocean City. This is the kid-oriented beach town. Huge boardwalk with put-put, games, junk food, rides, etc. This is a dry town and there are no bars. Instead, there is a lot of activities throughout the community planned for kids each day and it seems to be quite safe.

Then you have Avalon and Stone Harbor which seem to be for those people who are too old for the wild “spring break” kind of party, but still like to have fun – maybe late 20s and 30s maybe even into 40s.

Next is Wildwood. Now this place is the PARTY Spring Break style type of place. It caters to the barely legal. The boardwalk here, aside from games, rides and junkfood, seems to be a cruising place for picking up people of the opposite sex. From what I can tell, this place would have been awesome to be when I was between 18 – 25, but now I think it is kind of gross. It’s OK during the day, and in North Wildwood there are some good places to eat and drink.

Finally, there is the crowning jewel of the south Jersey Shore – Cape May! This is known for its beautiful old Victorian homes, its sophisticated beauty and its old money residents. It is also known to be a favorite spot of sophisticated gay couples and has further become THE place for straight couples from throughout the region to hold their weddings.

OK…so there is your shore orientation. From the perspective of an outsider.

Now, when I moved there it was to be close to my NJ job, and I am close. In the summer it is a great place to live, but in the winter there is, if you will pardon my language, exactly fuck-all to do there! BUT – since I pay rent for the place and had a month off of work here in Serbia, I was anxious to get some summer use out of the place.

So, what was my trip like?

Week 1 was spent largely at the beach. I had lent my car to PC, so I was biking and walking everywhere and was generally re-orienting myself. One really fun thing for this vacation was that PC had recently inherited a 1980s red convertible corvette – complete with HUGE orange and white flames all over the hood! This was a fun car to have at the shore. PC came down basically every time he had days off and we would pick a shore destination and drive. The car is fun. Little kids look and point and think it is “bad ass” while I am pretty sure that adults look at us in that car and think “What an asshole!” But whatever! I’ve always wanted a convertible and what better place to have one than at the beach for the summer!

Other than lots of fun days driving, eating and drinking with PC, I had several other visitors including my good friend “A.” We had a wonderful time! Riding bikes, walking on the beach, sitting in the sun on my back deck and playing games. It was a really special time in fact b/c “A” and I are celebrating our 10 yr. friendship anniversary! And while we regularly see each other while both in the country, it had been a while since we had some one-on-one time – so AWESOME!

My cousin “AB” also came for a visit. She had come last year as well and we had such a great time that we decided to try to make it an annual thing. She and I were best of friends when we were growing up, but since we are adults – she with a family and me with a travel intensive job – we do not get as much time together as we would like these days so it is super fun to hang out! We spent some time in AC, did some light gambling (in fact, she won like $300 on penny slots from a mere $10!). We went to see a rip-off of Cirque de Soleil (which was still pretty cool), and one afternoon we rented a boat with PC and went crabbing in the bay.

Now a boat on the bay and a day crabbing sounds awesome in theory, but in practice…well for me it was a somewhat difficult day. Oh, don’t get me wrong…I loved the boat and the crabbing. The problem was the greenhead flies! These huge nasty biting flies breed most aggressively in the salty marshland of my island. They feed on the blood of humans and warm blooded animals. Their bites are painful, like a cigarette burn, because they have a crude slicing implement similar to tiny scissors. I am allergic to their bites and one will swell to the size of a quarter, itch like mad, and last for 2 weeks. Well, for some reason, on that boat on that day, these stupid flies made a meal out of me! By the time we got home I had easily 40+ bites and was intensely uncomfortable for the next few days! YUCK!

But overall I had a really fantastic time with my cousin’s visit and I am excited for her visit next year! As I drove her to the airport on that last day, we stopped in Phillie for lunch as I had been craving tex-mex and guacamole for like 6 months! This was the perfect ending to a wonderful time together.

Also while home in NJ I went to visit my family in Cleveland for a long weekend. The time was action packed! We went to a comedy show, had a BBQ party, did some shopping and visiting and then it was pretty much time for me to go home. It was great to see everyone and we had a lot of fun. I do regret I could not spend more time there and especially that I was too busy with family to actually see any friends. Maybe over xmas!

After getting back from the CLE I went and spent 4 days in Phillie – hanging out with “A” and “Em” and helping “Em” move – again! This time a permanent move to North Carolina. Sad for me, but great for her!

The last few days of my visit I spent at the beach and with PC.

In all it just flew by! And now I am back in Belgrade and I am glad to be back. I am trying to make the most of it b/c I know it will be over before I know it!

Well anyhow…thanks for reading…

Until next time…

Xina

My wonderful trip to Eastern Serbia

2009-08-31T15:13:00.011-04:00

OK, well, after the intense experience of the Srebrenica commemoration week the leader of WiB felt that we needed a little break and since there were still a handful of international visitors left in Belgrade she organized a trip to Eastern Serbia for us foreigners.

We had a small bus and somewhere around 18 passengers from Serbia, Croatia, USA, Italy, Spain, Israel, Iran (and maybe others). We headed out with a loosely planned 2 day itinerary. All-and-all the trip was awesome! The weather was great. It was a really fantastic group. I felt like, after the activities of the Srebrenica week and this trip my Serbian language had improved immensely. And we saw so much of the Serbian countryside and so many little towns. I really loved it.

Throughout the nearly 10 years I have been coming to this region I have seen much of Croatia, and Bosnia and have even travelled a bit in Macedonia. Yet in Serbia, other than the trip to Leskovac, I had not seen much. So this trip was something special for me…

DAY 1
Pozarevac – Our first stop was a museum in the town of Pozarevac, which is also incidentally the town where Slobodan Milosevic was born and is now buried. The museum we visited is essentially a quick orientation guide to all of the treasures from Roman times and before that have been unearthed in Serbia. To my surprise there is an amazing amount of Roman ruins in Serbia! I am not sure why they do not capitalize on it more, as I think it would attract many tourists. But for whatever reason, even many Serbian people I talk to do not realize the treasures that are here!

So, after the museum, in true Serbian style, we walked to a nearby café for strong Turkish coffees and a cigarette break. We were then off to our next destination, though we would return to Pozarevac for lunch as a local taverna had offered to make a traditional meal for us.

Viminacium – From Pozarevac we drove about 45 minutes to the site of an old Roman town known as Viminacium. Incidentally, this is also the spot where, just a few months ago, archaeologists excavated the largest and best preserved mastodon (or possibly mammoth, I don’t remember) known in the world (according to the JAT airlines in flight magazine). We had a super cheerful guide who took us to three different excavation sites, two of which were really impressive! In the first we could see many tombs that had been unearthed, several still with bones, as well as works of art and architecture.

I actually cannot remember the second site, but the third was really great. Here you had a bath house that had been excavated and was really well preserved. We spent a good 2 ½ hrs in total at Viminacium and I think we were the only tourists there during that time. Can you believe it? After being in Rome just a few months ago among throngs of people at every ancient site it was amazing to have this to ourselves!

After the bath house we prepared to get back in the bus, but not before I had some time for playing with the most beautiful St. Bernard dogs I have ever seen (one with blue eyes even) who belonged to the owners.

Preserveed skeleton found in tombs at Viminacium

Part of excavated ruins of Roman town at Viminacium

Bath house excavated at Viminacium

Lunch in Pozarevac – So we returned to Pozarevac for lunch and I was really happy that all of the foreign visitors got to have such a delicious and well prepared Serbian lunch. (You see, even though I am also a foreigner, because I live here I felt like the others were our guests and I really wanted to show them the best of Serbia.)

Now, I know I have mentioned this, but the staple of the Serbian diet is MEAT!! So the traditional lunch (usually around 2 or 3pm) is really more like dinner, and everything is served family style. They first bring some assorted appetizers – roasted peppers with garlic, assorted salads, white beans, sautéed mushrooms, other things I can’t recall, and always served with delicious, still hot home made bread!!

Then for the main course they bring out several huge platters overflowing with grilled meats of every imaginable variety! Roasted pork, lamb sausages, huge thick bacon, chicken, beef…I mean you name it. Some is even some kind of meat with some other meat in the middle wrapped in yet another kind of meat!

And with all of this meat it is most delicious to have a very cold domestic draft beer!

You finish it all off with a strong Turkish coffee and assorted sweets that resemble various Greek baklavas.

As you might imagine, after all of that one needs a nap! And that is just what I did. While the passing countryside was beautiful as we went on to our next stop, I leaned against the window and fell fast asleep for a good hour or more!

Petrovac Cemetery – Our next stop was a couple hours down the road. We stopped in a small town known as Petrovac, but we didn’t really stop in the town so much as in the town’s cemetery. You see, apparently this town has long been known for a rather interesting tradition. Now all over Serbia, and especially in Eastern Bosnia, at Serb-Orthodox graves there is a tradition of leaving the favorite things of the dead person at the gravesite. So like if the person liked Jack Daniels, you might leave a glass of Jack. If s/he liked twinkies, you would leave twinkies. Same with cigarettes, apples, etc. They also light these yellow waxy candles at the graves when they visit.

So, this much I knew was a sort of standard thing. But what makes this cemetery special is the enactment of their belief that the dead and the living actually live among one another. Because of this, at many of the grave sites there are tiny houses, or sheds, or porches built. The most opulent of these has curtains, a TV, a sofa, a dining room, etc. (Clearly the more wealthy one is the better their grave site house.) Loved ones visit the graves, have a meal, and often sleep there. In fact we were told that there is at least one person sleeping there every night!

We spent an hour or so hiking around the cemetery, which all and all was pretty cool. We then loaded back up for our sort of sunset destination – Zagubica.

Grave stone inside porch-like structure - Petrovac Cemetery

Peeking inside the chiffon curtains of one of the more opulent cemetery houses. You can see a set table and even a TV in this one.

Another one that is more like a porch - Petrovac Cemetary

This one was like a huge living room with a picture window. Behind the grave stones here there was a table and chairs as well.

In this one you can see a more wide angle of the cemetery - Petrovac

Zagubica – We wound our way through beautiful countryside, mountains and valleys for a couple hours or so finally stopping at an exceptionally charming, rustic little site. The first thing I noticed was that there was again a looming grave yard on a hill that again had something distinctive about it…most of the graves had very colorful images depicting the things that the person loved most in life, and/or what they did for a profession and sometimes even how they died. Again this was super-cool!

I hiked around this spot for a bit, taking some photos, when I suddenly realized that most of the group had departed, except my roommate “J.” So “J” and I made our way down the hill toward the road to find the path where everyone else went. As we got to the road I suddenly see a group of big brown cows walking in nearly single file down the road. When they saw us they sped up and I got a little nervous – like they were chasing me! I soon noticed the herder following behind them, laughing at my reaction!

As we started to catch up with the rest of the group we took pause. I started to take notice of the stunning natural beauty of the place we were. A river about 15 ft. wide ran lazily cascading down rocks and under 2 wooden bridges. A weeping willow that would rival any described in Mark Twain’s tales poured its generous branches toward the river. To the right, the sky had begun to turn pink and two goats meandered on the bank across. To the left three dogs stood at the very edge of the stream – intermittently playing and lapping the cool water. And then, smack in the middle, two of the stream of cows stood, letting the water reach nearly to their huge bellies as they drank. I was so tickled! It all seemed so perfect!

We caught our group as we walked along the path near the river. In no hurry. Really loving the sounds and smells. We all sat at a café near the water for another round of strong Turkish coffee and cigarettes. (seriously – I have no idea how anyone sleeps here! They must drink 10+ coffees a day! Even at 10pm! Little wonder I am a crazy insomniac here! Well, I am insomniac everywhere, I always have been, but here I have many nights of just 1 hour of sleep!)

We then made our way back to the bus at a leisurely pace, pausing to admire the changes in the sky. The setting sun continued to put on a dazzling show as we made our winding way through the mountains, up up up – 15,000 feet – then winding down down down and around the valley and back up again.

Gravesite in Zagubica - note the red sports car - both what he loved and how he died

Gravesite in Zagubica - Man on motorcycle - again what he loved and how he died.

Natural beauty of Zagubica - river with Weeping Willow

Cows bathing in river in Zagubica - perhaps tired from chasing me!

More natural beauty of Zagubica

Bor – We stopped at the edge of the town of Bor, and it was already dark. Apparently we had expected to get there earlier because when I asked “What is here in Bor?” I was told “Serbia’s most shameful ecological disaster.” But clearly it was too late to see it.

Now in the moments before we reached Bor I had made it known that I really really had to pee. I am not one of those “squirrel bladder” types who goes every 15 minutes, and can usually hold it patiently for hours, but after so much coffee, beer and water that day, I was desperate. When I could not take it anymore I told the driver and navigator that I really had to go. Only, I couldn’t think of the polite way to say it in Serbian so instead I announced something akin to

“Pardon me, I must take a piss. I must piss very much. I need to take a piss now.”

All Serbian speaker in the bus laughed, a lot, but no one seemed to take my request seriously and we drove on. A few minutes of wiggling later I pleaded with the driver,

“Please – I badly need to take a piss. I take a piss in the grass or flowers near road. I don’t care.”

Again – laughter, but no indication of slowing down. When we finally stopped on the outskirts of Bor I jumped out of the bus without even saying a word and ran for the lights of an open café about 400 meters away. I did not greet anyone inside, I did not ask anyone’s permission, I just made a bee-line for the bathroom and was so so happy!

When I returned to the bus our guide for Bor had arrived and we proceeded to the city center. As in most European countries, all towns and cities in Serbian have a sort of designated pedestrian zone. In the Balkans it seems that every night that weather permits people of all ages can be seen looking their loveliest and walking up and down these pedestrian streets, stopping for a chat now and then or an ice cream, or a coffee or a beer. It is lively and pleasurable and I wish we had more towns like this in the US.

Well, in this tradition, Bor did seem to have a pedestrian zone. Yet as we parked and walked toward this area it looked more like a scene from a zombie movie or Michael Jackson’s Thriller video than a lively town gathering place. Under the orange glow of streetlights a smattering of shabbily dressed people walked ever so slowly toward us. Intermingled with these zombie townsfolk a mass of decrepit stray dogs weaved in and out, their ribs protruding like a xylophone.

Not wanting to be rude, but certainly freaked out by the freak show I whispered to “J” and the other American girl “D” about the zombies and they admitted they were thinking the same thing. Giggling sporadically as we made our way through the zombies, our guide took us to several important historical sites there in Bor – important because the mine in Bor made the town very wealthy for something like 100 years – particularly during the Communist period and during the Milosevic years when Bor was the only town making money and all its profits fed the war effort. Now the mine barely works and Bor is desperately poor. Young people who can leave Bor do so, and those who stick around are often victims of drug addiction and poverty.

Obviously we could not see the mine that night, but we walked to its edge – followed by so many starving dogs – and while the town itself was one of the most depressing places I’ve seen in a long time, one thing that was particularly striking was the stars. Because of the lack of light pollution the night sky looked like someone had smeared glitter all over the sky.

We would return to Bor the next day for a look at the mine. Like the guide said, it truly was an ecological disaster. Across from where we viewed the mine was what appeared to be a factory. We were told that this factory had twice served as a concentration camp – once in WWII and again in the 1990s.

Bor mine with view of factory building twice used as concentration camp

Another view of the ecological disaster known as the Bor mine.

Our Spa Hotel – As we left Bor that first night, exhausted and a little sad, we proceeded about ½ hour to the place we were to spend the night. We had been told we were staying at a spa, which in the American mind conjures images of opulent luxury – massages, pedicures, facials, etc. Well, this is not quite what a spa means in this region of the world. Many of the mountain towns in Serbia, Bosnia and Croatia have hot springs and various mineral pools. Around these things have sprung hotels and resorts, but not in the American sense – more in a rustic, in-tune with nature sense.

So, while this “spa” was not exactly what my mind had conjured, it was still an amazing and impressive thing. Set in the woods with various cabins, places to walk, a stream, wild life, and a pretty decent breakfast – it is a place to relax and recharge for sure!

Upon arrival we went straight to sleep! But when I woke the next morning, I had my breakfast and then decided to take a walk around the grounds to see what I could see. The first thing I came upon was an adorable set of puppies. Being an idiot and an animal lover I immediately went over to pet and cuddle these playful balls of fur. MISTAKE! Just when I got close enough to touch a puppy an angry snarling mother came at me with teeth that looked as vicious as a shark and a growling bark that was not playing around! I may have let out a little scream, I can’t remember, time was suddenly in slow motion as I pictured being mauled by this dog and I quickly backed away avoiding eye contact. Thank god the dog retreated – LESSON LEARNED!

The rest of my walk was lovely though. The woods were so nice and there were various mineral springs at various points in the path. I felt amazing (once I settled down from the near death by dog experience) and really charged with the energy of the natural surroundings. I could’ve stayed for days…or at least a few hours more…but after about an hour’s walk I could see the others rounding up to get into the bus, so I went back. Saying goodbye to this beautiful place we were bound for day 2!

View of the breakfast area at our spa hotel

A nice wooded spot at our spa hotel

Day 2
Romuliana – Now, as I mentioned earlier, day 2 began with a trip to the Bor mine. After that we were off to the 2nd of our amazing Roman ruins sites – an old Roman army encampment called Romuliana.

This place was again super cool! I mean it was such a huge site with so many excavated areas, and again hardly any people! There were a few others besides our group, but still not more than 10 others! And you were free to wander all around the site at will! Seeing columns and perfectly preserved mosaic and marble walk ways! This place was truly a wonder!

At the beginning of the tour we saw a diorama of what they presume the town looked like in Roman times, but after that part of the tour I sort of tuned out b/c he was speaking Serbian and Spanish, then the Spanish people were translating into Italian and French and I couldn’t concentrate on all of that Babylonian mish-mash. Besides, I had to pee again and since I did not want to get into the same situation as the day before, I decided to seek out the toilet immediately.

It was difficult to find. “To the left and then straight” people kept saying. But even when I went as far as the back building, which seemed ½ kilometer from the ticket office where I had asked to begin with, still I could not find it. Again someone at the back building said “To the left and straight.” I kept going, around the back building, searching for a door.

I asked one last time, and somehow this time I understood a bit better. I needed to go down one more path. I assumed I couldn’t see the building with the bathrooms because of the trees that were blocking it. So imagine my shock and horror when I saw a tiny outhouse hidden in the trees – looking like it was ready to fall at any moment.

I held my breath and went in, only to be further horrified…this was not just an outhouse (which I can handle – due to many an outhouse situation in my youth - but hate as I have always imagined something coming up from the hole to bite me) but was instead an amalgamation of my two most hated toilet scenarios! Not only an outhouse, but what we call a “Turkish toilet” to boot!

If you don’t know what this is, a Turkish toilet is a small hole in the floor, usually surrounded by some kind of porcelain, and if you are lucky, a handrail of some sort to balance yourself. If you are a man, this type of toilet should pose no problem. If you are a female in a skirt, you can make it work for yourself. But I have to say that when I have encountered these while wearing pants I have peed on myself more than once, so that now I just take off my pants to avoid this situation all together.

Peeing into this tiny hole without getting wet is a challenge in and of itself. I have no doubt that people who use these regularly are totally accustomed to them, and they claim “it is the more natural way” and “it is better for you.” But if I can be totally candid here… I once stayed in a town in rural Bosnia that had only Turkish toilets and I did not defecate for a week! Mostly b/c I could not figure out how! And you can imagine that with 10+ coffees a day this was no easy feat!

Anyhow, finding the combo outhouse/Turkish toilet was a little overwhelming, but I managed. When I returned to the group and we were wandering and exploring the ruins on our own, several other women asked me where was the toilet. I explained it to them, and warned them about what they might expect. Not another woman used this toilet while we were there. They all said they could wait for our next stop. And I got a bit of teasing for using this toilet, but the joke was on them in the end because our next stop did not come for at least 3hrs!

Restored gates of ancient Roman site - Romuliana

Part of ruins at Romuliana

A restoration using excavated materials and ancient city plans

More Roman ruins at Romuliana

Partially restored section using excavated materials and ancient plans

Restored city gates leaving ancient city of Romuliana

Cuprija – Our next major stop was in the town of Cuprija where there is an amazingly old monastery (really more like a convent b/c nuns live there, not priests). The fortress surrounding the church is as old as 12th century and the church itself, though largely restored, must not be any older than 16th century (judging by the damage to the internal frescoes that could still be seen in spots still being restored. It is typical in Christian areas that were dominated by Ottoman Turks to find religious icons with their eyes or sometimes entire faces gouged out. I was told that this has to do with the Muslim belief that God should never be depicted.)

Now, I have seen my share of Catholic churches all over Europe, and a few mosques in Bosnia. I have even been in plenty of Orthodox churches in Greece, Macedonia and Serbia. But this place was particularly special. While I was not allowed to take picture inside, the ornate designs all the way up to the details in the ceiling rivaled many of the best I’d seen. Most amazing, on the fortress outside at one point you could still see the original frescoes that had not been restored yet!

But these are not the only things that make this monastery special…oh no! If you think back to the story of the 1389 battle of Kosovo – a foundational myth for Serbian identity throughout history and again in the present moment – that I detailed in a previous post on the brief history of the region, you will remember that one of the stories two heroes was a Serbian prince (or Knez) named Knez Lazar. Well, in this monastery lies the desiccated remains of Knez Lazar – like so many Catholic church relics in Italy. But this one is particularly special…

Every Sunday the church opens the casket to believers who need some kind of miracle. They pray and touch the hands of Knez Lazar and God answers their prayers. Or…to put it more cynically, they ask the magical rotting corpse of Knez Lazar to grant them a wish – kind of like a genie. (And you can buy postcards depicting his rotten hands in the lobby as a souvenir. God I wish I’d bought some!) Now I am not trying to denigrate the religious beliefs of others, but it does seem a little crazy from the outside, you have to admit.

Anyhow – all and all this was an awesome place to visit. Really lovely.

View of Cuprija monastary housing the bones of Knez Lazar - the stone part is the more ancient fortress

A better view of the monastary and fortress walls from head-on

Lunch Day 2 – So Day 2 we had lunch at a roadside Taverna. It was good. Pretty similar in variety to what we had the day before but not quite as high in quality. The price was right though! I think for 20 people to eat themselves stuffed and each have 2 beers we still got out for less than $80 US.

Vodapada – At this point we were actually supposed to go to see one more monastery and hike some caves, but we had actually run out of time and would run out of daylight before we got there so we instead decided to find this cool little spot with waterfalls that the Serbs on the bus had remembered.

After some amount of driving around in confusion, we finally reached the spot. Again – fantastic! Cute café where we sat for coffee and cigarettes, a lovely river running by, etc.

When some people had finished their coffee they decided to make the hike to the waterfall. I had intended to join them, but was engaged in a conversation, so I said I’d catch-up.

Well, I didn’t quite catch up to them, and I did fear several times that I was lost and was going to have to live there forever, but I did have quite an adventure finding it. On the way I saw so many sheep, goats, the hugest pig ever, horses, wonderfully quaint houses and lovely nature. When I finally found the waterfall and the group, they were already done enjoying the nature and were headed back down, but I wanted to explore some more, and I’m glad I did. I found the most adorable restaurant tucked back into the woods, only accessible if you knew what path to take. I wished we had not eaten and had held out for this place!

So, while there was still a third part of the larger group who had not come to the waterfall yet, I hiked around a bit and jumped in with them to go back down the mountain when that third group was ready.

Cafe on bridge where we had coffee before finding the waterfall

Definately the biggest, pinkest pig I've ever seen - on way to waterfall

Finally! The waterfall - It's no Niagra Falls, but it sure was pretty!

Charming restaurant I found in the woods near the waterfall.

The end
In all – a truly fantastic trip! We got home near midnight and were all exhausted, but we had seen so many things and really had a great time. I could not have asked for a better experience.

Thanks for reading…

Until next time…

Xina

Srebrenica Memorial week...

2009-08-31T11:55:00.006-04:00

WOW! It has been a very long time since I have updated the blog. I’m gonna go ahead and make several posts today to catch-up on all of my adventures since the end of June…which was the last time I wrote it appears.

Part of the reason that it has taken me so long to write again is b/c the events of the first weeks of July were so intense that I did not know how to even begin talking about them. But now I think I have enough distance to be able to give the abbreviated version and hopefully do it some justice…

So…In a previous post I think I may have talked a little about the history and controversy surrounding the 1995 massacre in Srebrenica. In a nutshell, a series of agreements between the UN and the Serbian forces during the Bosnian war had led to a series of “safe areas” for Bosniaks that would be protected from Serb aggressions by UN forces.

Now, prior to 1995 a series of ethnic-cleansing atrocities had been committed by both Serb and Bosniak forces in the region surrounding Srebrenica, and there were both Serbian and Bosniak civilian casualties resulting. But, by 1995, Srebrenica had been declared a “safe area” for Bosniaks and Dutch UN soldiers had been charged to protect it. The town’s population swelled to 10 times its pre-war population. In July 1995 the “safe area” Srebrenica was seized by Bosnian-Serb forces. The Dutch UN forces helped maintain calm among the Bosniaks, helped separate the Bosniak men from the women and children and then provided gasoline to transport the women to Bosniak territory. Meanwhile, 8,000 – 10,000 Bosniak men and boys were executed. Those who tried to escape through the woods were hunted for several weeks.

Obviously the story has a lot more detail and nuance to it, but in a nutshell, the events in Srebrenica in 1995 has been classified as Genocide by the United Nations and the role of the Dutch forces has also been heavily critiqued.

OK…so why am I telling you this?

Well, a main focal point of residual war controversy in Serbia revolves around denial of Serbia’s role in these events. Meanwhile, every July 11th at the Potocari Memorial Cemetery – in Eastern Bosnia, right outside Srebrenica – there is a ceremony held in which the dead are commemorated and the remains of those who have been found and identified in the past year are buried.

Now, in my work with WiB we hold a commemorative demonstration in memory of Srebrenica’s victims on the 11th of every month. From noon – 1pm on the 11th of each month the WiB stand in silence, wearing black and holding signs the beg attention to Srebrenica’s victims. While there was certainly a time when these demonstrations were controversial and even dangerous (featuring Serbian nationalist thugs in opposition to WiB) at this point there is a police presence each month which protects WiB and while there is the occasional insult hurled at the demonstrators, the events are largely quite safe.

Well, as July 11th is the official anniversary of the Srebrenica massacre, the date garners much international attention. From the beginning of the week international visitors from Italy, Spain, Israel, India, USA, Iran, U.K., and many other places had come to Belgrade to stand in solidarity with WiB for this commemoration. We were also joined by several survivors – women who had lost their sons, brothers, fathers, husbands. Women who before the war were simple village women, home makers, sometimes even illiterate, who were now staunch activists with more strength that I could even imagine!

Throughout the week we hosted discussion groups, films, and even a conference on women and peace, and day-by-day our numbers grew. Finally, on July 10th we held the year’s most important WiB demonstration. The afternoon demonstration was pretty much a lot like other months, but with more police presence. But it was the afternoon demonstration that was really something different!

Before the demonstration was due to begin at 7pm, the square was already filled with young angry representatives of some of Serbia’s most vicious, violent nationalist organizations. As the time to begin approached and WiB numbers swelled along with counter-demonstrating nationalists a brigade of riot police soon showed-up to stand between the two groups. The WiB stood in silence, each holding a white rose. The nationalists held signs with the face of Ratko Mladic (the Serbian commander who led the siege of Srebrenica), shouting threats of abuse, rape and murder at the WiB as well as chanting such things as “witches, bitches, whores, liars” and “wait till we get you when the police are not around” and other such things.

As I stood there my knees were shaking. There was so much hate in their faces and they stared right into our eyes. I wanted to shout back, but meeting their threats with dignified silence and solidarity was actually a much stronger message. I was afraid, terrified at first. But the thought that these women, the WiB, had been standing up for the victims for over 15 years, even when there was no police to protect them, even when they were beaten by nationalist thugs, made me proud of them and gave me strength.

At 8pm each woman one-by-one moved forward and placed her rose in a circle to create a beautiful visual display. When we were finished the police surrounded the counter-protestors and led the WiB back to our headquarters. We left in small groups after several hours and the police continued to sit outside the offices.

Police keep the line between nationalist counter-protestors and WiB activists

Here you can see some of the counter-protestors - one wearing the flag with the symbol of the famed Serbian nationalist group "Obraz" and others holding posters with images of Radovan Karadzic and Ratko Mladic

Here you can see the WiB line during the demonstration with the sign reading "Do not forget Srebrenica." There were hundreds of us in a semi-circle.

Here you can see the circle of roses that were placed at the end of the ceremony.

The next morning, at 6am, we were to gather at a designated spot to meet the chartered bus that was to take us to Bosnia to attend the official Srebrenica commemoration at the Potocari Memorial Cemetery. Although the trip is about 4 hours and the ceremony was not due to start until noon, we were detained at the border and harassed somewhat by Serbian officials. When we finally neared Potocari traffic was backed-up for miles and it was 11:45am. We began to panic, thinking that we would not make it in time. And this is where the story begins to turn…

With only 5 minutes until the ceremony and no movement in traffic a police escort approaches our bus. They cleared on-coming traffic, and led our bus strait to the cemetery. As we rushed off the bus the ceremony was already underway. The Bosnian police parted the crowd, over 50,000 people in attendance, and ushered us in to the center of the memorial space. As we unfurled the banners we had brought expressing solidarity with the victims’ families, mothers of the victims pushed through the crowds to join us. Some were crying and thanking us and saying things like “we were so worried you wouldn’t come this year.”

That was the moment I realize how much the work of WiB means to the victims’ families. All the hate and anger that was projected toward us the previous day in Belgrade, all the fear I felt standing there in front of the nationalist thugs, all the times in the past months I had wondered whether WiB was still a relevant organization – all of that was pushed aside when I saw that what we did mattered to the people who were most affected by the events.

Driving this point home, after about an hour I heard someone calling my name and people began to pull me through the crowd. At first I thought that one of our international visitors needed translation or help. Getting through the crowd was like squeezing through a wall of people. When I got to the other side I was greeted by the American ambassador to Bosnia and a delegation from the US congress. I was so nervous! They wanted to meet me and told me how proud they were that an American was working with WiB and that the work of WiB means so much to the Bosnian people.

To describe the ceremony itself – it begins with a very sad song about a mother looking for her children. Then there is a series of speeches from world leaders. Then there is the Muslim call to prayer and the men go to the front. There is a series of prayers, and then the names of those who will be buried that year are announced. This year over 500 victims’ bodies had been identified for burial. The caskets – thin because they are only bones now and green as it is the symbolic color of Islam – are then carried by the surviving men of the victims’ families to their burial sites where the women wait. The families then bury their dead by hand.

Here you can see the memorial stone near the enterance of Potocari Memorial Cemetery with several wreaths from different groups that had been placed there - the WiB wreath is the one most prominent in this photo.

A rose placed at one of the graves of a victim buried in a previous year.

Here you can see the line of caskets in the background as well as some tombstones. The piles of dirt are places where a casket will be buried that day.

Men carrying the casket of a victim - likely their relative.

Another image of the caskets being carried.

In this image you can see the crowd. The circle of women in gold dresses sang during the ceremony.

Here you see several women walking among the open graves where bodies will be buried that day.

Here you can see a small part of one of the WiB banners reading "we will not forget" in the background and the memorial stone reading "Srebrenica July 1995" in the foreground.

Another image of the stone.

In all, it was an amazing day. A day that was humbling and sad and beautiful all at once. A day that made me realize truly why I am here, and made me charged to stay work hard to bring justice to these people.

In closing, I am sure that the things I have said here do not even begin to explain what I saw…what I felt…what the events were like. This is why I have not written in so long. I have not known how to talk about these events, but did not feel I could talk about anything else until I did. Again I am sure I have not done them justice, but I had to start somewhere.

As always…thanks for reading…

A fun week in Belgrade...

2009-06-30T11:14:00.001-04:00

Week of fun in Belgrade…

So in my last post I elaborated on the fantastic fun I had at the WiB octogenarian birthday party. Well, it turned out to be quite a fun week all around!

So Thursday I went for a “last supper” with my friends “E” & “M” who, with their three boys, are about to return to the US after a year in Belgrade. They were my first friends here in Belgrade, and I tried to eat with them about once a week. They have been great friends to me while I have been here and I will miss them. I never would’ve made it through the winter without them! They helped me find my apartment, helped to locate my office, have been fantastic company, and always had a bottle of American whiskey waiting for me! It will not be the same without them!

Thursday night my roomie returned refreshed from her trip to Prague. We stayed up late catching up and I am so glad she is back!

Friday morning I had to make my journey to the “Ministry for Strangers” to renew my residency visa. As I have mentioned previously, going to take care of business at this place is always an adventure and takes many attempts to complete any task…regardless of how prepared one might be! So as this was my third trip for this task, I had hoped it would be successful. Well, after a small moment of panic when I was notified that under the new rules I had to provide proof of health insurance (as if I or anyone would be here in an effort to defraud the Serbian health system) I called the embassy to get my proof. Whereupon the representative told me I did not have insurance…which I do have! So after some discussion and wrangling they agreed to write me a letter, which was good – but I would have to return again to the ministry…which was frustrating.

Well, I decided to alleviate my frustration with some good ole American retail therapy. I had heard there was a mega-store not too far from where I live so I hopped a taxi to “Tempo”…and oh what a gloriously western place this is!!! Costco meets Wal-Mart! A warehouse sized shop that I thought was non-existent in these parts!

Need a pillow? They’ve got it! Need a slutty swimsuit? They’ve got it! Need a crate of apples? They’ve got it! Need a lawnmower? They’ve got it! Need a sleeve of plastic cups? They’ve got it! Need a stapler? They’ve got it! Need frozen pizza? They’ve got it! Need a 5 liter bottle of vodka? They’ve got it!

I called my roomie to see if we needed anything…but we really did not need much, so I spent my budget on supplies and decorations for the party we had planned for Saturday – a party we decided to throw for no real reason other than we like parties and had not been invited to many that did not include a majority of senior citizens.

Feeling electrified by my consumerist binge at Tempo, I returned to the Ministry for Strangers, got my visa, and went home to put away my new purchases and decorate the place for the next night’s party.

As I was rearranging furniture and making the place look festive, a friend from WiB who lives in the neighborhood (“Jo”) stopped by. Given that the previous night, in the course of our last supper, E & M had given me all of their left over liquor, I had a bottle of gin, a bottle of American whiskey, a bottle of irish whiskey, a bottle of rum, a bottle of absinthe, 2 bottles of wine, a bottle of pear rakia (Viljmovka), a bottle of blackberry rakia, and some beer. So Jo and I decided we should test out some of these supplies to ensure they were up to the standards of tomorrow’s party. I am happy to report that everything passed the test!

Saturday during the day was dedicated to work I had to do, and then party prep. I spent about 2 hours beforehand getting the food ready, and the place looked good. We were fully stocked with food and drink, music and décor. We had expected about 20 guests from the RSVPs that we got. Our first guests to arrive were friends of my roomie. 3 Americans and one Serbian guy (who was the husband of one of the American girls). They brought a bottle of vodka and a shaker and proceeded to make a delicious version of the cosmo that we dubbed “Belgrade Cosmos.” Then came our Swedish friend “K,” followed by two more Serbian girl-friends of ours. We were having a laugh, drinking and dancing when another guest phoned and asked if he could bring a few friends…SURE, we said!

Within an hour we had another 15 or so guests, all Serbian folks, most of whom we had not known previously, but all of whom were super cool. The dancing, eating and drinking went on until about 4am. It was a good party! And while not all of the originally invited guests came, we had a good turn-out and a lot of fun! Sadly, as the party heated up, the camera died, so most of the best moments were not documented…but no matter!

Sunday was dedicated to cleaning and eating.

Monday it was back to work. There was a woman visiting who is a Srebrenica survivor and a very active leader in the victims’ rights group Mothers of Srebrenica. She was amazing. I had time to talk with her and was captivated by her. Prior to the war she was an illiterate home-maker from a small village. Now, after the war, she has found a strength and a voice that is remarkable. She acts in no way like a “victim,” instead being an outspoken and assertive advocate for reparation and recognition for Bosnian war victims. Her stories were incredible.

In the evening I went out for a final drink with E & M before their departure to the US.

Today I went to get my hair cut. I am not sure if I mentioned this, but I have the very best hairdresser in the world here! His name is Dragan. He is like the Serbian celebrity hairdresser and I was lucky enough to get an appointment with him a few years back. He gave me the best haircut of my life back then, and I have been trying to replicate it in the US ever since…with no luck! Back in May, when A was in town, we went and had our hair done by him again…and he again gave me the best haircut ever! And fantastic color! LOVE IT! It is such a nice cut that people stop me several times a week to comment on it! So today I went to have my color and cut touched up so it looks good for my trip back to the US. Sadly, after the beautiful blow-out he gave me afterward, I was caught in a rainstorm on the way home and now it is flat, but the color and cut are still hot! Seriously, he is amazing!

In all, a great week in Belgrade! Now there are two more weeks before I leave for the US for a month. Pretty much every one of the next days will be filled with work, but all will be super interesting. I hope to have a lot to report soon.

A kick-ass octogenarian b-day bash...Serbo-style!

2009-06-25T07:42:00.001-04:00

Last Night I Went to a Surprisingly Kick-Ass Party…

So yesterday I had a list of things to get done and was feeling a bit blue in the aftermath of the congenial and mutual but none-the-less difficult break-up of my three year romantic relationship with “P.” But it had been a week, and watching silly rom-coms with a bowl of popcorn was no longer acceptable in light of the fact that there are still many things to be done before I leave for my holiday to the US in a few weeks.

So, in light of all of this, I first gave the apartment a massive amount of cleaning attention in anticipation of the return of my roommate from Prague on Thursday. Then I got down to the business of returning a few important and dangling correspondence issues. I then spent some time making my hair and make-up look lovely. In the afternoon I was off to my faculty to retrieve a stack of books that I wanted to have here at my apartment now that the semester is over, and to obtain the letter I need to finish the business of renewing my residency visa (which I’m sure will be another adventure to report!).

The tram ride from my apartment to the faculty is about 45minutes. I may have mentioned before that my faculty is the furthest from the center of any of the University of Belgrade faculties. I have been told that this is because, during the Tito days, the Political Science Faculty was considered subversive and so it was placed a good distance from the actual center of political action. At any rate, I got to the faculty, got my letter, and loaded my bag with books. Now my bag was ridiculously heavy, and I had a decision to make.

I was due at the WiB offices to help prepare for a party that evening that was being held in honor of the 80th birthdays of two of the activists. So, given that the tram does not really go near the WiB offices, I could either take the tram all the way back to my house, drop off the books and then head to WiB, or I could get off the tram about ½ way and walk about 40 minutes to WiB. Given that I was asked to pick up beer and wine for the party and had a couple of stops to make, I did not want to be late and so decided to get off the tram and make the trek.

Oh how heavy those books became!!! Oh how long that walk seemed! But it was too late to change my mind and so I trekked on. About 10 minutes from the WiB offices, I stopped at the liquor store and bought two bottles of wine, and the equivalent to a case of beer. As I was about to leave the liquor store I decided that I might want a glass of whiskey at some point in the evening, and so I bought a fifth of Four Roses Bourbon, with the idea that I would offer it to the people at the party, but assuming that really no one would be interested…another miscalculation!

As I left the liquor store, now loaded down like a pack-horse, it began to pour rain. The hair I’d wasted 45 minutes on was now ruined, and my clothes were soaked (which for Serbian people…wet hair + wet clothes = instant pneumonia – regardless of the warm weather!). I was a little disappointed, but was so happy to get to WiB and set down my bags that it took a minute to realize that I now looked like I’d been pushed into a pool! I felt doubly ashamed of my appearance as others began to arrive in pretty party clothes, but at least I was there and ready to help prepare for the party, right?

Anyhow, for the few hours before the party, myself, the group leader and the two American girls who are interning with us for the summer decorated for the party. At about the time we were to begin, I announced that I had brought beer, wine and whiskey…and there was a sudden and palatable delight from several people there!

As people arrived, I greeted them, and offered them drinks, and to my surprise, the whiskey was a hot commodity…so much so that within an hour of the party’s beginning, the entire bottle had been demolished! At an 80 year old’s birthday party!! With a total of about 35 people in attendance! Even with no ice on hand! You’d have thought there must’ve been a hole in the bottle! I was thrilled that so many people were happy to share the whiskey, and had I known it would be such a hit I’d have bought a better whiskey! (and would’ve brought whiskey to these ladies much sooner!)

There was a great mix of interesting people, mostly activists from the organization. There was an amazing spread of food – including a special treat of guacamole prepared by one of the American girls. There were fantastic cakes, happy birthday was sung in Serbian and in English, and many great photos were taken. In all, to my surprise, it was a really kick-ass party! In fact, the two octogenarian birthday girls and many other people over 60 years old far outlasted me. When I finally departed around 11pm on a Wednesday – tired and a little drunk -, they were still going strong!

It’s funny because I was not sure what they would think about the whiskey, but it seemed to be a welcome treat, much to my surprise and delight. So much so that when I left, one of the women said to me “Next time you should bring two bottles of whiskey!” Hilarious!!

Oh, and one of my favorite parts of the evening…one of the women sat next to me while we were eating. She asked me how old I thought she was, to which I responded “57.”

“No” she said “I’m 72!”

“You’re kidding!” I said

“No!” she said “And do you know how I keep so young?”

“How? Please tell me!”

“I drink beer everyday! It gives you a little belly and radiant skin!” she exclaimed. I then got up and got her another beer…and poured one for myself – I can use all the help I can get!

On the way home I had to carry all of those books again, and when I woke up this morning, I had bruises on my collarbone and lower back. Still, it was a great night, one that I will certainly remember and one that I think I will be remembered for as well :-). There are some really wonderful photos from the evening, taken by awesome “B”, and I will update this post with a few when I get them.

In all, I can say that tonight proved to me again that Serbs know how to have a good time! Just as much as I was impressed by the dancing that went on at the Leskovac party, I was impressed by how much fun everyone had celebrating the birthdays of these two amazing women. And many of the other guests would have counted individually as the most interesting person many people could ever meet, so it was really a kind of honor to have them all in the same room and to have a chance to spend time with them. I feel really lucky to be a part of this group!

Thanks for reading!

Xina

Working with WiB

2009-06-21T01:13:00.002-04:00

Women’s Network Anti-Militarism Seminar in Leskovac/Kukovica

My time with Women in Black (WiB) here has become much more active. I have been able to participate in several of their activist street actions. I have been a part of several of their monthly vigils for the recognition of the victims of the Srebrenica massacre. I have also taken part in their anti-fascism demonstration as well as several of their anti-militarism demonstrations. These have been great experiences for me, and also very good for my research!

Images from WiB Srebrenica vigil on May 11th

Further, right before the public film screening at the CZKD that I mentioned in the previous post, I organized an evening for a group of visiting American students to come to the WiB offices, learn a bit about the organization and their role as peace activists during the war and today, and an opportunity for them to see the above mentioned film and Q&A with the film maker. It went pretty well!

Also in May, I gave a lecture on the Militarization of Media for WiB here in Belgrade. I was so nervous because I really wanted to impress the leader, (who can be very hard to please for various reasons I can go into another time), but everything went really well. She was pleased with my talk. And so, after seeing me speak, and after all the work I put into the film night, she has started to respect and trust me a lot more, and has organized for me to give talks to other groups in the network from throughout the region!

So, in line this, a couple of weeks ago I went with WiB for a weekend seminar in the south of Serbia. It was a seminar for women in the network from throughout the region. After a 4 hour mini-bus ride - which included a stop at a rest-area with a tiny little restaurant called “Tito” – complete with a mini-museum of Tito artifacts collected by the owners - we kicked off the weekend with a pretty elaborate anti-militarism demonstration in the city of Leskovac.

Rest-stop on the way to Leskovac with Tito tribute museum

The atifacts inside are from the owners private memorabilia

Another view of the museum atifacts

We began the demonstration in Leskovac by gathering in the center. After about ½ hour, when all the participants arrived, a pyramid made of shoeboxes, each with the name of a current global conflict written on it, was stacked in the middle of us. First we chanted some anti-militarist slogans and then as the leader called out the name of each conflict, and activist would take that box away and smash it until eventually the pyramid crumbled. This was meant to symbolize the ways in which the global culture of militarism is interdependent, but that each of us working in small ways against this can help dismantle militarism.

Images of some of the signs from the first performance

Image of some the the activists and the box pyramid during the first performance

Another image of activists and the pyramid during 1st performance

Some activists during 1st performance

After that, we paraded through the city for about 90 minutes with signs, chanting slogans, etc. Reactions to this were mixed from curiosity, to support, to anger and spite. But for me the best moment came when, at one point, we were spontaneously joined by a group of Roma (Gypsy) children. In accordance with another initiative that WiB is participating in at the moment for greater Roma rights and Roma inclusion (Roma are essentially invisible beings with no rights, no citizenship, etc.) the group started chanting “Roma are Serbian” and “Better education for Roma Children” and stuff like that. The Roma kids loved it! They were dancing along side of us and cheering. It was really amazing.

You see…before I lived here, my experiences with Roma were limited to begging in the streets of Greece, Italy, Croatia, Serbia, etc. I knew that they had few rights and bad living conditions, but I was not really aware of what all that meant. Since I have been here I have learned a lot more about the issues and I see it as a multi-level problem that needs solutions on the legal and social level in Serbian society as well as a concentrated outreach and education initiative in the Roma community. Anyhow, there is much more to say on this topic, and maybe I will write more about it later.

An image of activists during the parade part of the demonstration

After the parade/march came the second street performance. For this one we stood in a semi-circle in front of Leskovac city hall and placed a series of military helmets in front of us. Then several activists filled the helmets with bread, eggs, potatoes, etc. and mounted signs that read “Did you know that for the same cost as one helmet you could buy a kilo of potatoes, a dozen eggs, 2 loaves of bread…” and stuff like that. Then a group of activists wore a caterpillar (reminiscent of a Chinese new year dragon) with various anti-militarism symbols on it and marched around while others filled the helmets with flowers.

Flowers in helmets during 2nd performance

A part of the catterpillar behind one of the flower helmets

There was then a third brief performance at another location nearby with a parachute which was decorated with anti-militarism symbols and symbols from the various groups in the network. People from the different groups each took hold of parts of the parachute, waving it around and eventually we all got under it and let it fall around us. This was meant to symbolize the fact that all of us who are committed to an anti-militaristic society are connected, and together we can enact change.

Some activists with the parachute during 3rd performance

By mid-afternoon we were headed to the small mountain village of Kukavica, about 40 minutes from Leskovac up the mountain. Here we spent the rest of the weekend with all of the network women from throughout the region at a mountain hotel where we had a series of lectures, activities and meetings. In association with this, I gave 3 talks – 2 short and one long lecture.

I am happy to report that for the first time, I actually gave a talk entirely in Serbian! Although it was only a small talk and only one of the three, this is a HUGE step for me as, even though I am a confident public speaker, I become the most ridiculously self-conscious freak when I have to speak publically in Serbian. Up to this point, I have lasted less than five minutes before switching to English, so this was a HUGE thing for me!

Now I am not saying it was awesome, but I did it!!! My long lecture was in English and for this I gave an expanded version of my earlier talk at Belgrade WiB on media and militarism. It was well received as well. But now my goal is to be able to give my longer talks in Serbian by the fall. I am enrolling in formal classes so I can better learn the Cyrillic alphabet as I have studied this language in Croatia, which uses the Latin alphabet, so even though I have some low-intermediate speaking skills, I am functionally illiterate here in Serbia.

The location of the seminar was really beautiful. I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but the former Yugoslavia at large has what I think is the most plentiful, various, and astounding natural beauty in the whole of Europe. I have been throughout Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Macedonia, but oddly enough, even though I’ve been here quite a while, I have not seen as much of Serbia. I had been to the North part, called Vojvodina, and it is lovely in an Austro-Hungarian way. But this was my first trip to the south.

It is a poor part of the country economically, but the nature is beautiful! Green mountains, clear streams, clean air…all of that. I had been so tired of being in the city where there is constant noise all the time from the 5am garbage man to the jack-hammers of street work to the constant hooting of car and bus horns to the general loudness of busses to the loudness of Serbs themselves (who, quite comfortingly, are somewhat like Americans in their vocal volume) I had been craving quiet. Here it was!

Now, most of the weekend was packed with seminar stuff, but on one afternoon we “internationals” (5 Americans, 1 Swede, 1 Brit, and a few Serbs who did not have official business at the meeting at that moment) had some time off. I went for a 3 ½ hour hike with the Serbian woman who is the WiB photographer. It was awesome! We walked up the mountain (not steep), stopped occasionally near the river, and – the BEST part – ate the wild strawberries that grow in the forest!!! So tiny cute and juicy! When I first saw her eating them I said “What are you doing? Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to eat berries you see in the woods? They can be poison!” To which she laughed and said – “C’mon! They are wild strawberries!” And in fact they were…and they were delicious!

That same night, after the dinner – around 10pm – there was a party. It was actually such a good time! Many of the women in the network are older (many in their 60s and beyond even), but I am telling you, these women danced their asses off! And all night long! I finally went to bed at 3:30am and there was still perhaps 15 – 20 people still rockin’!

Overall, I loved getting away for the weekend. I loved being a part of this seminar. I enjoyed the lectures and activities as well as the social parts. And I came away from it all feeling much more connected to the group and having gotten closer to a really great group of friends.

In the coming weeks we have a globalization seminar coming up as well as the big annual trip to Srebrenica for the July 11th Commemoration. I will also be spending more time with some of the other NGOs I am researching for my work here. I am so happy to be here right now! This is exactly what I came here for! I am learning so much and I will have so much to bring back to my students in the US when I return (not to mention a very cool and somewhat substantial contribution in regional post-conflict books that I am going to be donating to our Holocaust Resource Center library for our graduate [and undergrads too] in Genocide Studies at my US university).

In all, my time here lately has been so amazing and really productive. I am so excited to be staying until the end of December! I am supposed to go back to the US for a few weeks this summer, and I am looking forward to seeing family and friends, but I have decided to cut the trip home a bit short so I can get back here.

OK, well thanks for reading! I will write another update soon…

Xina

Professional developments...

2009-06-21T01:02:00.005-04:00

Professional Developments

While my day-to-day life has become more fulfilling here and I am having a satisfying social life, my professional life is still what primarily consumes me…here and always everywhere as I have a great passion for my work and being here is really allowing me to pursue some great things and learn so so much! Of course I am foremost here to be a professor and to write. But in line with my research, I also do quite a bit of work with some local groups, in particular Belgrade’s Women in Black (WiB) and since school has been out (mid-June) my work in this capacity has been able to be more dedicated. I have been able to take part in more of their demonstrations and activities (which I will detail more in another post).

In addition to my work at the university here, and my direct work with WiB, I have been active in other ways relevant to my research and fueling my passions. In fact, being here has really help me actualize the missing link I have felt so long between scholarship and action. In graduate school I had gone through a phase of feeling so "ivory tower" useless. I study all these global conflicts and atrocities, but from afar while I constantly feel like I should be on the ground doing something tangible. My advisors always said that your scholarship can be a form of activism - can work for social change. But that sounded like a somewhat comfortable cop-out to me. Now, being here I am engaged not only in my scholarship and work with WiB, but am actively seeking ways to put into practice the "rhetorically proactive" strategies I have spent so much time thinking about.

Some images from a Roma rights demonstration earlier this year

This was a demonstration protesting the government's destruction of a Roma refugee settlement

In May I organized a film screening for a friend of mine from Bosnia who is a professor and an activist. He lives in Norway, but he runs an organization in Bosnia called The Center for Democracy & Human Rights through which he holds an annual week-long conference/seminar each summer in Konjic, Bosnia.

Although he is not a professional film-maker, a few years ago he made a film – a sort of documentary – which features the stories of three people who, during the war, committed “heroic acts of good” by helping people from different ethnic groups at great risk to themselves. Though the film is not artistically perfect – a good example of “naïve” art – the message is very moving and important. From the first time I saw the film, a few summers ago while attending the annual seminar, I have been dedicated to helping him gain attention for the film. So, when he told me he would be in Belgrade for a conference in May, I helped to organize (with help from WiB) the film’s Belgrade premier at the Center for Cultural Decontamination (CZKD).

I was the host of the evening, which consisted of my introduction of the film and the film-maker, then the screening of the film, and finally a panel discussion with the film-maker and several local well-known intellectuals. The evening was fantastic! The event was very well attended, with a truly international audience including several ambassadors (from Norway, Austria and Denmark) as well as attendees from the US, Sweden, and other places. And this was in addition to the many local people who attended. Through this evening I met several people who have since granted me some wonderful professional opportunities!

For one thing, I was interviewed for television about this event by both Serbian and Bosnian TV stations! The previous week, while participating in an anti-fascism demonstration, I had been interviewed by a local crew making a film about the treatment of minorities here in Serbia! And now in the last week I have been interviewed for two more films – one being filmed by local students who are making a film about the influence of Disney and other children’s programming on children’s gender identity, and one (just yesterday) being filmed by American film students about the ways that roles, opportunities and expectations for women have changed here from the Communist period through this post-war transition period.

[Interestingly, in this post-war period it seems that gender equality here has regressed seriously! In the Yugo-Tito-Communist period there was more money here, a greater emphasis on education, an unparalleled freedom to travel internationally (thanks to Yugoslavia’s policy of non-alignment during the Cold War), and an acceptance of gender equality that, while perhaps not quite as progressive as somewhere like Sweden, was certainly more egalitarian than in the US at that time. Now, sadly, with no money, HUGE restrictions on travel that make it impossible for Serbs to get visas, and the residual effects of the ethno-national chauvinism of the Milosevic years, things have changed. Young people are increasingly less educated, women get married and have children younger and Feminism as a lived practice is much more a part of the lives of those people over the age of 45 than in is for those under 30.]

So, even though I am not a TV glam-glam screen personality type, and I hate seeing photos of myself, it has been exciting to be sought out for these things!

Also through the film screening I met a woman who is one of the Vice-Deans at the university where I teach here. She is a historian and she helps to lead the American Studies program here. She had me as a guest lecturer in her class a few times in May and June, and now, in Fall semester, I am going to be teaching a graduate seminar for the American Studies program here on the American Civil Rights Movement! I am really excited about that! I have also recently given lectures for the Center for Women’s Studies at my university here, and in Fall semester I will be co-teaching a course for them.

I have also been able to attend some other activities organized by other local activist/NGO groups… There was a fantastic night of short films by students of famous Yugoslav film-maker Zelimir Zelnik at the CZKD. (I really enjoyed this!) There was the performance from local activist theatre group DAH Theatre that for which they performed the testimonies of women from all three sides of the war. (So moving! I really want to be able to bring this performance to my home university in the US!). And last weekend I went to an alternative theatre festival in Pancevo (neighboring town) that was really incredible.

One of the performances was conducted outdoors in Pancevo's central park. It featured four women and was centered on raising awareness of domestic violence here in Serbia. In essence, the performance specifically highlighted the fact that the average woman who is abused by her relational partner will go back 7 times before leaving for good. It was really well done and intense. It was also perfect for the space and the intended audience they hoped to reach.

The performance itself is around 30 minutes. For the ½ hour before they begin, as the performers are setting up, they play popular music very loudly on huge speakers, which draws an audience of many people who happen to be in ear-shot. This strategy allows them to gather a much different audience than just those who chose to come to watch this performance. And in this way they are able to share thei message to many different kinds of people, not just typical "theatre goers" but also a broader general audience. People hear the music and see a group of women dancing around and they come over to see what is going on there - out of curiosity. They come for the music, but stay for the performance – which is just the right length not to lose anyone’s interest!

OK…so the performance itself is incredibly powerful, but what made it even more unintentionally impactful on this occasion was the 5 young boys (between ages 3 yrs. – 7 yrs.) who had gathered in the front during the performance. At first they watched with curiosity. About 10 minutes into the performance, then ran away only to come back holding terrifyingly real looking toy guns! [Made even more scary b/c in the US, toy guns no longer look real, so I was not used to seeing such a thing.]

The boys then proceeded to stand in a line, shoulder-to-shoulder, about 10 feet from the performing women, and began to “shoot” at them. Holding the guns in an eerily accurate way (specifically the little one with the rifle who had it resting on his shoulder with is head cocked slightly over the butt of the gun as he took aim), the boys continued to “fire” upon the women for the rest of the performance and even as they took their bow at the end. After the applause the boys ran away.

Now, the performers did not notice the boys during the performance, but everyone in the audience did, and the photographer (who happens to be an friend of mine from WiB) got some excellent photos of this. In the photos, one cannot even tell that the guns are not real! And so, for me, the message about violence against women that is offered by the performance is made that much more poignant by the boys “playing” at committing violence against these women! UGH! Crazy! (See the photos I've added below)

Young boys take aim and "fire" upon a group of women during a street performance to raise awareness about domestic violence

Here you can really see the little one with the rifle holding it like a real gun! While the one in the red-shirt seems to be scoping the scene to take aim at his next target.

Again in this one the rifle-boy is in full action and now red-shirt has found his mark. See how he holds it with two hands like a professional?

One last thing I want to tell you about from my work with WiB is the weekend seminar I went to with them in Southern Serbia. But I will talk about that in another entry.

OK, well thanks for reading and I will post more about specific WiB seminar experiences in the next post.

Xina

Lovin' Serbo-Summer...

2009-06-21T00:59:00.004-04:00

My Belgrade Summer…

Well, I guess it has been a while since I have talked about my life here in Belgrade. I should start by saying that since the weather has been nice (beginning at the end of March and intensifying each week) both the city and the people have become so much nicer! I am certainly much happier here than I was my first few months and much busier as well as I have gotten to know a lot of people – socially and professionally – so that I have had many more professional engagements and invited speeches, etc. than I did in the first months. I am so glad I decided to stay on through the Autumn semester b/c there is so much to do, and I am really enjoying every bit of my work!

One small down-shot: My fight to remain upright and uninjured in Serbian public space continues to be a negotiation of give and take! While on the tram on the way home from the university a few weeks ago, the tram driver slammed on the breaks and everyone went flying. I got my foot wedged under the metal wall near the door and broke a toe. OOOHHH the pain! I wanted to scream, but I stayed quiet for fear of unwanted attention.

Ironically, just as I was alighting from the tram at my stop, an insanely intense thunderstorm had begun and as I hobbled home in the driving rain, each raindrop to hit my toe sent waves of pain up my leg. My linen pants were quickly thoroughly soaked and I was freezing. A sense of relief washed over me as I arrived at my apartment building, but was short lived when upon entering I realized that the power was out (and hence so was the elevator) and I had to walk up 7 flights of stairs – wet, freezing and in pain! When I opened the door to my apartment the ceiling had begun leaking like Niagra Falls into my living room. Seriously…the biggest series of bad luck events over a 30 minute time span that I can remember in a long time!

But other than that…things have largely been great!

First of all, I have recently taken a roommate! My American friend from WiB, “J.,” has moved in with me and I couldn’t be happier about it! We really like each other, and we get along great. We have a sort of honest and sisterly relationship where we can tell each other if we want to be quiet, or if something is bothering one of us. We share food and expenses fairly. I totally trust her. We work together at WiB, that is how we met, though she is full-time at WiB through a 3 year U.S. fellowship program (and is really the “right hand man” there), while I am only there part-time. We like the same music and movies, we chat and laugh a lot, and – yes I am a dork – I was thrilled to see that she brought with her one of my most cherished card games, Phase 10! (Like a rummy type game from the makers of Uno). Also great is the fact that we have some common friends and some separate friends so we aren’t together every minute. I just can’t say enough about how much her living here has improved my daily quality of life. It is awesome!

So, with “J.” living here and with the fact that I have now been here about six months, I actually have a group of friends now (mostly from WiB) that I hang out with and talk to almost daily. I get invited to things now, and I have friends I can call if I want to hang out or get a coffee or even just chat. Fortunately this also means that my social interactions with Serbian people are no longer limited to any person who asks and speaks English! I had met one person here who I had hung out with a few times, and it was like spending time with Eyore [from Winnie the Pooh] – just so negative and such a downer! Just about the time I also found out that this [astoundingly highly educated!] person is also rabidly homo-phobic [to the point of thinking it is degenerate and disgusting to associate with gay people] I made another group of friends who are very cool, and much more like me! Hooray for social choices!

And, as an aside, I am really still shocked when I meet people, here or in any country including the US, who are still rabidly homo-phobic! Especially educated people. I suppose when it comes to things like people who oppose legalizing gay marriage in the USA, while some of those opposed may be mis-informed and/or home-phobic, there is at least room with many who oppose gay marriage to have an ideological debate, and not all opponents are necessarily rabid homo-phobs. But with people who have a dogmatic hatred, there is no debate. [Just to make my position clear, I am in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage in US law. People can do what they want in their church – allow it, don’t allow it…whatever, but equality under the law is the only logical position for our country. I am totally against discrimination of any kind – race, gender, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc. and I have a hard time suffering close-minded people. I usually will try to take and “enlightenment” approach and try to help the person understand how they might think differently about the group they “hate,” but I won’t tolerate hateful language or attitudes in the people around me.]

OK…so…I love Serbo-summer! People had told me how fantastic spring and summer were here, but it was hard to believe in the dead of winter when everything looks so grey and people rarely smile. But spring and summer here are fantastic! I love it that you hear music all the time on the streets, and that big name concerts come here (AC/DC, Madonna, David Byrne, and others). I love it that the people who seemed so unapproachable and sour in the winter are friendly and smiling now. I love it that the cafes all have installed huge outdoor patios and everyone is outside all the time!

Even though it was been 80 – 90 Fahrenheit degrees for like 6 weeks now, I still love it. I love having a coffee with someone before or after work. I love going to the zoo and going to the Kallemegdan Park to take walks or even to bring a beer with a friend and sit and chat. I’ve gotten comfortable going to the huge open-air market (which used to intimidate me). I’m even getting more confident with my language skills and am starting formal classes to get better at the Serbian dialect and Cyrillic alphabet. I feel so lucky to be here. I am very happy to be able to stay for those extra months until end of December. I’ve gotten to know a lot of the city, though there is still so much I don’t know!

So, I am having a great time in Serbia. I am learning like crazy, enjoying myself socially and am generally happy. And now that the semester is finally finished (mid-June) I am more involved with the daily goings-on at the organization I have been working for, WiB. This is where I will stop this entry. In my next entry I will talk a lot more about my work here and all of the exciting professional things that are happening for me here.

Thanks for reading. And check out some of the Belgrade summer pics below...

Xina

Sunset at Kallemegdan Park
Sunset at Kallemegdan Park

At the Belgrade Zoo - feeding the Polar Bear - he's a great catch and I swear that zoo is the best entertainment $3 can buy!

Belgrade Zoo - Antelope (perhaps the only word that rhymes with cantelope!)

Belgrade Zoo - a huge and somewhat vulgar kangaroo

Viva Italia...my May Holiday in Italy...

2009-06-20T20:00:00.023-04:00

Italy
So it has been a long time since I have written. Mostly because I have been busy actually doing things, and working and I haven’t had the urge to sit and write about it. But in the interest of preserving the memories for myself for later, I wanted to take a bit of time this weekend to catch up on the blog as one forgets the details of things as time goes on, and I want to remember those things that have been important to me while I’ve been here. Sooo…let me start this catch-up with the trip to Italy…

As I had mentioned in previous posts, this was “P”’s first trip abroad, so I took charge of the trip planning. Now “P” enjoys seeing cool historical sites, and I made sure to plan for that, but what he is really an expert on is fine food and wine, so being his first time in Italy, and especially being that we are both of Italian heritage and he is such an acute fine food and wine enthusiast, I wanted to be sure that we found some really special restaurants at a variety of price levels in each city. Besides, although I have been to Italy many times, this is my first trip as a professional adult (ie., not a backpacking, penny pinching student/grad student) so I was excited to experience some of the finer things.

Still…we are not rich people, so I wanted to be sure we got to try some fine restaurants and tour stuff, but also some highly recommended less expensive stuff. So, to be sure that we had the most from our experience I had done a lot of research beforehand with friends (thanks to everyone who made such awesome suggestions for things to do and places to eat), on the internet and especially with “Slow Food Italy,” and I must say it really paid off! Just about everything we did and everywhere we ate was fantastic! But let me begin at the beginning…

So…the day I left Belgrade for Rome I had to leave my apartment at 4:45am. I arrived at the airport in plenty of time and waited in line, as there are no self check-in kiosks at the Belgrade airport. After waiting almost an hour (behind a huge Greek soccer team…very attractive young men I might add), when it was finally my turn it turned-out that the airline had no record of my ticket being purchased…even though I had the receipt in hand! It was a code-share flight, JAT & Alitalia. I was checking in at JAT, but had bought my ticket from Alitalia…which was not open! So I had no way to talk to Alitalia about the issue. In different circumstances I may have waited to talk to someone and caught a later flight, but this was the only one going from Belgrade to Rome that day, and I was worried that “P” would arrive and I would not be there to meet him and he might panic…especially since I had not given him the hotel information! So I had to buy a whole new ticket, a process through which I nearly missed the flight anyhow, and ended up running to the gate as the plane was boarding.

But not matter…I was a bit frustrated with the extra cost, but I was not going to let it ruin my vacation, and after the first day, I largely forgot about this minor frustration.

ROME

I arrived in Rome about an hour before “P” and was there to meet him. We took the train into the city center and easily found our way to the hotel. Given that we had planned to see several cities in just 10 days, I booked hotels that were relatively close to the train stations, so while it was really hot outside (easily in the 80s and 90s), and we were both pretty tired (and “P” jetlagged) we got there in no time at all. Now, I had heard that there was a possibility that the neighborhood near the station would be questionable, but it was fine. Not the prettiest, but really close to everything, and located in what appeared to be Rome’s Chinatown. And while our hotel, Hotel Moscatello, was simple, it was quaint, friendly, clean and affordable – really all we required, (and for me, anything nicer than a hostel is livin’ it up at this point!).

I convinced “P” that it was important to try to stay awake until that evening, so after a brief rest and shower we headed out to the Ancient Roman Coliseum. I had been here several times before, but this time we decided to take the guided tour, which also included tours of other ancient sights. It was spectacular! Our guide was hilarious, and really knowledgeable. After the Coliseum part of the tour was finished we considered taking the second part the next day, but “P” was going strong so we continued. Again, really fantastic! We learned so much, saw so much, and got some great views and photos.

After the tours we walked through the city so I could show him Trivi Fountain, “Mussolini’s wedding cake,” and a few other sites in that area with a goal of having our first night’s dinner at a tapas type mozzarella bar, recommended by “A” & “J,” called Obika Roma. Nice food. Fancy Italians having after work cocktails and appetizers. All around a good first night’s dining after which we wandered the streets stopping occasionally at random bars for drinks and taking photos of Rome by night.

Now…our hotel locks its doors at 1am, and if you will be out later than that, you need to pay a key deposit to get a front door key. Well, given that “P” was jet-lagged we did not imagine at noon when we ventured out that we would need that key. However, we found ourselves rushing through the streets of Rome, giggling like idiots, hoping to make it back in time…which we did…by a hair!

Here’s a few pics from Rome Day 1…

Rome - Colesium

Rome - Ancient Roman Coliseum

Rome - Ancient Roman Ruins

Rome - Colesium by Night

Rome's many histories - Colesium & medival tower in background

Day two in Rome was reserved for the Vatican. We had made reservations for the Vatican’s special Scavi Tour, which is a small (10 persons max) tour of the underground catacombs of Vatican City. I had not done this tour before and had thought it would be pretty cool, but I could not have expected just how fantastic it would be! (I highly recommend this tour! You have to make reservations at least a month in advance, but it is totally worth it!) We saw a thousand years of historical/archeological stuff and had a great guide who was really super smart and charming! The tour was about 2 ½ hours, after which we stopped by Pope Jon Paul II grave site and then walked around St. Peter’s basilica on the inside – never fails to impress!

We then climbed all the way to the top for the best views in Rome. I got a bit dizzy from the super narrow winding stairs as you get into the very tippy-top of the dome, (and there is like 400 stairs, but with hoards of elderly people also climbing it seemed embarrassing to complain about it) but once you get there, it is so worth it! Truly amazing views!! After that we spent about 1 ½ hours in the Vatican shop run by nuns so we could buy rosaries and gifts for our families that had been blessed by the pope.

After our Vatican exploration, we wandered around the area a bit, walked through Parco Adriano and saw the Castel St. Angelo and made our way to our chosen dinner spot. When we arrived, we realized it did not start serving for another hour or so, but I am so glad we made the choice to wait! We went to the neighboring square for drinks before dinner, (where our senses were assaulted by embarrassing American tourists who said things like “this is not how we get it at home in America!” And “Can you take this back and put some cheese and tomatoes on it!”).

We then returned to our chosen restaurant - Hostaria Costanza - for one of the best meals, best atmosphere and best service I have ever had!! Tucked down an alley, not super easy to find, with many Italians dining there and a few tourists was our little Roman delight. Now, as you may know, the Italian dinner is served in several courses with an appetizer, then a first course [primati]which is pasta, and a second course [secondi] which is the meat and veggies. Unlike at home where you eat a huge plate of pasta alone and call it dinner, you eat three smaller courses. So we decided that in order to taste stuff and not to be stuffed, we would share our meals – family style, as is typical at most southern European restaurants, but not as typical in the US. When we told the waiter we were open to his suggestions and wanted him to recommend what was best, he took care of us like we were in his home! We shared a truffle risotto for appetizer, then he brought us the white-bean soup (best I ever had!). Our pasta dish was traditionally Roman, and then our meat – which was lamb, and which was roasted and spiced just perfectly! He had brought us a perfect bottle of wine for the meal!

The best part was that as we sat there, there were two business men (an Italian, Marko, and a Greek, Vasilis) dining beside us. As we were finishing our meal they began to chat with us, and invited us to their table to after-dinner drinks and dessert. We sat chatting and drinking with them until the place closed! It was spectacular!

Below is a few pics from Rome day 2…

View into Vatican city gardens from top of St. Peter's Bacsillica

View of Rome from top of St. Peter's

View of bridge and Castel St. Angelo - Rome

The next day we were to leave for Venice, with a one-day stop in Bologna in search of genuine “spaghetti Bolognese.” In the morning we made time for a few last sights in Rome, including my favorite of Rome’s small oddities, the Capuchin Cemetery. This is a church (interestingly called Immaculate Conception – just like my elementary school) within which there is an elaborate display of ornately arranged bones from the late 1600s-1700s. It takes less than an hour to see it all, even if you really linger over it, but the detailed mosaics and scenes that they have made with these bones really fascinates me and I need to see it every time I am in Rome. “P” also enjoyed it! You are not allowed to take photos, but they have a series of postcards for purchase with all of the scenes from the various rooms on them, so it is really worth it to buy them.

So after the Monk’s bones, we picked up our bags at the hotel and headed for the train station. Unfortunately I had misread the tickets and we missed our train. It was momentarily stressful, but we were allowed to catch the next train (for a small fee) and were on our way to Bologna.

BOLOGNA

Now I had been before to each of the major cities that we had planned to visit on this trip (Rome, Venice & Florence) but had not been to Bologna. Our hotel was amazing! It was very modern and glamorous, and stylish and still amazingly affordable. 4 Masini Design Hotel was definitely the finest hotel we stayed at the entire trip and it was the least expensive. It is very close to the train station, which means it is not as close to the city center, but Bologna is not that big, so really you can walk anywhere in 25 minutes or so.

Given that our main purpose for going to Bologna was to have the original “Bolognese” (which they actually call “pasta Ragu” in Italy) I had carefully researched our dinner place for that night. After a short rest and showers we set out to walk the city and check it all out before dinner. It is a lovely smallish university centered city – not Italy’s most beautiful, but certainly nothing to sneeze at. The restaurant we had chosen was located in a 16th century wine cellar, Osteria de poeti. Again great atmosphere and service! Fantastic good and wine. And I must say that our pasta course, “Ragu,” was amazing! In the US I typically do not prefer spaghetti Bolognese because to me it tastes too much like hamburger, but here it was a different story! The pasta itself was homemade (which makes a huge difference) and the meat is of a much higher quality (more like ground sirloin than hamburger meat). Great stuff!

Below are a few pics from Bologna…

Bologna - street scene

Bologna - Statue at entry of central city park

Bologna's 2 medival leaning towers

The next day we were to proceed to Venice, and this time I checked the train ticket times obsessively! We spent that morning walking around Bologna, and had “Ragu” and salad for lunch before boarding the train. Upon arriving in the first Venice train station, “P” said “we’re here” and we got off the train. As the train pulled away and we walked outside the train station I was totally disoriented and did not recognize anything, even though I’ve been to Venice several times. It took me a minute before I realized we had gotten off too early…silly me! But it was no real problem. We caught the next train to Venice, and took the vapporetto (like a water bus) to Ca D’Oro stop where our hotel was, Hotel Bernardi Semenzato. Of course, like everything in Venice, it was a little challenging to find, but we made it.

VENICE

So, in general, my feelings on Venice are as follows… It is a really unique and amazing place and if you have never been there, it is something not to be missed. However, it is expensive, the food is nothing special, and you will be tired of fat tourists, cruise-ship day crowds, and African immigrants selling hand-bags by the end of the trip. Italy has so many fantastic places to see and things to do! I like Venice, I like the sights and the uniqueness of it, and after my first time I couldn’t wait to go back. But every ensuing time I have been back to Venice it has struck me as more of a tourist heavy Disney world-esque place. At least we were there in mid-May, just the beginning of the tourist season, so it was not quite as bad.

The best parts of Venice for me are the Guggenheim Museum, San Marco, and the experience of wandering in the endless maze of streets. I find this to be best at night when you have to fight fewer people, but it also means occasionally running into raccoon sized rats at the edges of the canals!

Anyhow, we did get to see a lot in Venice and took a 2 hour boat tour (not gondola) of the grand canal and some of the smaller canals. We had mediocre overpriced food the first night, but we had fun getting lost and wandering for hours through the streets that night, and I had the agenda of showing the St. Mark’s cathedral to “P” by night when there are less tourists. To me this is such an interesting and special cathedral because of the blend of Italian, Byzantine, and other influences in its architecture – given all the trading from so many other cultures that had happened in Venice at that time. During the day it is a zoo, even though it is so beautiful, and it is hard to quietly appreciate it. While you have to see it during the day to appreciate the use of color, seeing it all lit up in the quiet of night allows you to appreciate the structure without fighting the tourists, sellers and rip-off artists.

The second day we walked around a bit, but the cruise ship crowds were there in full effect and getting through the narrow streets was challenging. When we got to San Marco and the line was hours long to get inside, we decided to opt instead for a boat tour of the canals. It was really lovely to see it all from that perspective, and I am really glad we did it. Still, of all the tours we did while we were there, this guide was the least strong and entertaining and I largely ignored her in favor of the views and my own daydreams.

The second night we made reservations at a Antica Trattoria Poste Vecie – reputedly the oldest restaurant in Venice and possibly in Italy as a whole (according to local legend anyhow). We had prosecco before dinner, an appetizer of various local fish specialties, a pasta course of con vongole verace and a monk fish for our secondi. It was all very good, and the place was truly beautiful. If we hadn’t had such amazing meals in Rome and Florence, I may have thought it to be fantastic. The location was great, the place was beautiful. But again, everywhere in Venice I just feel like everyone treats you like a tourist.

And while yes, we are tourists, there is a difference between cruise-ship one day in-and-out and people who really want to get a taste of the culture. It’s not their fault really, the tourist industry workers in Venice are disenchanted with the whole thing I am sure. It just makes me feel very self conscious of the fact that I am a visitor as opposed to the way the best places we went while we were in Italy made us feel like we were in their home, as if they were happy to share their specialties with us as long as we were open to appreciating them.

But there was one place in Venice where we actually felt at home and welcome…and interestingly enough, it was a bar that looked a bit cheesy from the first impression, but the guy running the place was so cool and fun and open and welcoming and interesting that we went back a second time. It’s called Bacaro Jazz, and as far as I could tell, it was a totally tourist cheesy joint, and was run by folks who are not Italian. I wouldn’t normally recommend this kind of place, but they were super cool and kind, and made the best cocktails I have had in Europe (in recollection).

So…After our dinner at Poste Vecie, we stopped back at that Bacaro Jazz, where we had made friends with the manager the day before, a guy from Bangladesh named Islam. And He made us some of his mean bad-ass cocktails! As we sat and chatted with him again that night we also met an American couple from California who we had drinks with for the evening. It was great fun! But after a bit I started to feel unwell and we started back to the hotel…

By the time we got back to the hotel, I was not feeling very well! You see, I have an allergy to octopus. I did not eat any octopus, but there had been octopus with the appetizer and it had clearly gotten on the bread that I had used to soak up the other appetizer fish. Needless to say I spent that entire night very ill…YUCK! The next morning as we prepared to leave to Florence I was dreading going into the heat and getting on the boat to take us to the train. But we had a train to catch, so green and dehydrated as I was, we made our way to the vaporetto and the train station (where, thank god, “P” was infinitely helpful and kind!)

Below are a few pics from Venice…

Venice - Grand Canal w/Gondolas

Venice - view of smaller canal with bridge

Venice - View of famous Rialto Bridge

FLORENCE

I slept for most of the train ride to Florence, and when we arrived I stayed awake long enough to get us to the hotel and then went back to sleep again while “P” did a little touristing himself.

Now Florence is my favorite Italian city, and I had been most excited to get there, so I was disappointe4d that I was feeling unwell. But, by the early evening I was feeling somewhat better, so we walked a bit around Florence, by Duomo, by Sante Croce, down the river, through the main shopping area, near the Uffizi, etc. Then I went to bed early while watching some hilarious Italian TV.

First of all, everything on Italian TV that is not originally in Italian is dubbed (instead of subtitled) so there is no chance of really watching unless you speak well enough to understand Italian. This means that the best choices are either MTV or soccer matches (which I love!). That night I snuggled in for a soccer match which appeared to be Italy vs. France. But as we watched, each time a goal was scored, the player who scored would have to sing a karaoke pop song with some hot Italian singer. At first it was confusing and really funny! We eventually figured out what was going on…it was a game between Italy & France – touted as a sort of World Cup 2006 finalists exhibition - but it was a sort of charity event and old retired players from each team were playing alongside the current team members. Anyhow…interesting.

Our hotel in Florence, Hotel Berna, was again close to the train station and while it was a loud neighborhood, the room was fine, and the staff was fantastic! They even brought us breakfast in bed each day when they did not see us come down for the served breakfast. I would highly recommend this place if you were in Florence and wanted to be near the train station. It was also just blocks from the leather market and less than 10 minute walk from Duomo – all good things. The staff was really kind, helpful and really made you feel like they were happy to have you there, which was fantastic. However, if you were going to be in Florence for more than a week, I would suggest going with something father afield, even more in the residential part, even though it would be harder to get to the main sights, because of the chaos and loudness of the neighborhood (and it seems of much of the main tourist part of the city at large).

Our second day in Florence we decided to rent bicycles to get around more of the city more easily. Of course we saw all the sites, climbed the Duomo, toured Santa Croce, and rode around the city. For dinner that night we went to a pizza place that was recommended by a colleague to be the “best pizza in Florence,” and I must say it did not disappoint! Semolina it’s called – really fantastic pizza and good service and also very hip and artistic décor!

So, in general Florence has always been my favorite Italian city and this time was no different! It did not disappoint! It is such a charming place, so much beauty, so much to see and really amazing food! The only thing is I would like to spend a more extended time there, and maybe even to stay in a place that is a little more in the countryside. Next time…

The next day we decided to rent a Vespa so we could tour the Tuscan hills in the surrounding area. I was a bit nervous at first, but this proved to be the best possible choice we could’ve made. While the initial working our way through the city was terrifying, once we got out of the urban center it was so worth it! We spent the day riding all around, seeing vineyards and generally beautiful countryside. We stopped for lunch and a glass of wine at one of the smaller wineries. It was just a really great time…possibly my favorite day…it’s a toss-up really between that and the first two days in Rome.

Our last great meal was our last night in Florence and it was by far the best meal of a whole vacation full of great meals! We went to a place I had researched called L’Osteria di Giovanni. The place had a very contemporary look to it, with the owner’s (Giovanni) private art collection on the walls. While we were there, they treated us like we were royalty, like we were restaurant critics or something! Impeccable service! The owner himself came and chatted with us for a while as we were eating! While we had the usual appetizer and primate courses, the highlight this time was the secondi – Florentine dry-aged steak! It was amazing! And they brought us just the right wine! We were so full we could barely have our after-dinner drink, but given that the owner brought us his special liquor and biscotti, we could not say no.

Below are a few pics from Florence…

Florence - Giotto's tower and the Duomo

Florence - Duomo

Duomo & Baptistery - Florence

A view of Giotto's tower from on top of the Duomo, Florence

Florence from surrounding hills - featuring Ponte Vecchio Bridge

Florence from the hills - featuring the Duomo

A view from the Tuscan Hills surrounding Florence

A view in the Tuscan Hills on the outskirts of Florence

THE END OF THE TRIP

On our final day we travelled back to Rome, and took a hotel at the sea side near the airport. We were exhausted, but in all it was really an excellent trip! In fact, “P” wasn’t back in the US for a day before he was already dreaming of his next Italian adventure and plotting the time when he can retire to Tuscany! I think he caught the travel bug! As for me, I still love Florence (and Tuscany at large) and Rome as well, but would be happy to skip Venice next time in favor of either spending more time in one place, or of seeing more of the south. So much still to see…

So, in closing, If anyone is going to any of these cities in the near future and you want some recommendations for sites or restaurants or hotels, please get in touch. I’d be happy to suggest some! Sadly, because I took so long to write about all of this, I can’t recall the name of the place in Rome offhand, but can find it if you’re interested (all the more support for my argument that you should keep a daily journal while travelling! Even for ten days! When everyday is packed with so many experiences, all those things you swear you’ll never forget about day 1 fade in memory by day 10!)

Thanks for reading and enjoy the photos.

Xina

Obama Llama

2009-06-09T01:48:00.001-04:00

An Obama version of the Llama song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqXX6kuk_XQ&NR=1

Llama Llama Duck!

2009-06-04T17:52:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't written in a while... I have been stunningly busy since I have been back from Italy, end of the semester here and all. I am leaving in the morning for Leskovac (in South Serbia) to help lead an anti-militiarism seminar for the weekend. I am hoping things may slow up a bit when I get back, and I'll write a fuller entry then. For now, I wanted to share a hilarious clip that I saw on Serbian TV about an hour ago. I was thrilled to find it on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbPDKHXWlLQ

Great week!

2009-05-12T05:06:00.008-04:00

Not much time to write b/c I am rushing to get everything together, get packed and get the house cleaned before my Italy trip tomorrow. But I have had such an amazing and action packed week that I felt I had to write a quick update.

So…classes going great. Jobs going great. Busy busy busy…

The last week of April my BFF “A” came to town. She grew up here and had to spend a lot of time seeing family, but we got to hang out nearly every day for at least a coffee, and we got new gorgeous, euro-sexy haircuts!! (Which I am super excited about!!). And spent a day at the zoo – which is kind of my new favorite afternoon get-a-way. The most fun you can have for $3!!!

That weekend Aussie “L” came back through town. I am so glad he came back to Belgrade b/c when he was here before it was winter and I must say that spring in Belgrade is an entirely different animal. AWESOME!! Sunny! Friendly! And lots of fun. Suddenly everyone is smiling, everyone is happy, all the cafes have opened outdoor patios, just really fantastic! While he was here we spent one evening out drinking with a group of folks at one of the friendliest places I’ve been so far. The next day we had a leisurely breakfast of “palacinke” (local crepe-type things) on the main square, and then met up with English “J” at the zoo where we spent the afternoon feeding the animals. Of course you are not supposed to do this, but everyone does. You see, in Belgrade there seems to be an unspoken agreement that the rules don’t really apply in most situations. Hence, most zoo patrons bring a bag of these local snacks called “Smoki” (shape and consistency of cheese puffs, but with peanut butter flavor) and feed the animals. The polar bears were especially entertaining as the big one delighted in catching the Smoki in his mouth.

After the zoo, we went to the top of the fortress in the Kallemagdan Park to have a beer and then walked around the park for a while. It is so lovely in the spring! The sun was starting to go down and it was really crowded. After the park we went for a traditional meal of meat meat and meat. “L” left early the next morning and my real mega-work week began!

So in the last week I have given 5 lectures, participated in 2 demonstrations, have been interviewed for television twice, and have hosted a Bosnian film maker with whom I organized a screening of his film. On Saturday I participated in an anti-fascism rally for WWII Victory day here in Belgrade. The streets were packed!

On Sunday we screened the film for a private group of US students that were here. This was really fun as we hosted them in the WiB offices where we were able to talk to them about the work the organization does. Then the Film maker “Dz” gave a talk, and the students seemed really interested. We showed them the film, fed them snacks, and had a discussion. All-in-all, a great day!

Then, yesterday we had a public screening – the Belgrade premier – at the local activist center “Center for Cultural Decontamination.” The turn-out was fantastic!! We had about 100 people, and among them were 3 ambassadors from Norway, Denmark and Austria!!! I was so nervous! I gave a short talk in the beginning, which I began in Serbian, but was too nervous so I finished in English. The audience was great! Really big, really interactive, and for the first time here I felt really relevant.

There is so much more to say and to explain, but I need to get packing. Just wanted to share a few pics and a few adventures before I am off to Italy.

View of Danube & Sava Rivers from top of Kallemagdan fortress

Part of lower city around fortress

Display of historical weapons inside gate of fortress

Part of fortress wall

Looking down onto river and old lower city from fortress

Sunset from top of fortress

Seriously the biggest, freakiest kangaroo I have ever seen!! (Not to be vulgar, but you should have seen his male bits when he was lying down! EEEWWWW!)

Belgrade zoo Antelope

Srebrenica commemoration demonstration with WiB

Srebrenica demonstration with WiB

Some seriously F'd up nationalist graffiti! This is an image of Bosnian-Serb nationalist wartime leader Radovan Karadzic with the date 1389 - which is the mytho-historic date of most importance to Serb nationalists (see my earlier history post for more info)

Woo-Hoo...Italy w/PC!!!

2009-05-11T09:47:00.003-04:00

I couldn't be more excited! One day away from a 10 day vaca in Italy w/PC!!! And I will be doing it totally unplugged and off the grid!! That's right...I am not bringing my computer, not turning on my mobile, not checking facebook...just totally unreachable!!!

It couldn't come at a better time. Things are great here, but I am exhausted and stretched to the limit, and I miss PC so much...almost as much as Monkey...so this is going to be awesome!!!

We are going to Rome, Venice and Florence.

Much going on here in Belgrade to talk about, but no time at the moment. Hope to write a few posts when I get back.

More later...

Belgrade in Spring!

2009-04-24T14:41:00.003-04:00

I know I haven’t written in a while and it is not for lack of things to say so much as lack of time to say them. It took me the first few months to gain local trust and acceptance and now that I have (to a certain extent) I am on non-stop go over here!

OK, well I guess the first thing I should share is the big news…I have been awarded a grant to stay here in Belgrade until December! I will go home for a few weeks to see Gram and fam, but then I am back here to teach and research. I had been waiting to hear for quite a while, and the day I found out I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going home, and started to get excited about tuna sandwiches, my bike, my cat and my beach… but I am really happy that I am able to stay. The fact that it took so long to get on the inside track – both in the organizations I am researching and at the university – means that I really do need extra time to get things accomplished.

Other news…springtime in Belgrade is fantastic! People had promised it would be so, but the harsh nature of the winter (both in terms of the weather and the people) made me doubt it. However, the weather has been gorgeous for about 3 weeks now and as soon as the sun came out, the city seemed to triple in population, all the cafes set up outside seating, and suddenly people became more friendly! I am so happy about this turn of events!! And the people are lovely! The women are so thin and fabulously (although scantily) dressed, and I actually saw a man today who looked like he stepped off a billboard...so good looking that I instantly felt much much uglier! The women are wearing crazy high heels, and another trend here seems to be capri pants or shorts with tights and high-heel boots or stilettos. Not sure I could pull it off, but fun to see! Oh...and one girl yesterday was wearing a loosely crochted red sweater and a white thong...nothing else but stiletto boots!

The upshot of all of this beauty of spring is that even the commute to my jobs each day is more fun as everyone is happy and much much kinder. Also, everything is green, and even my neighborhood which, if you think back to the early pics, was ugly and depressing in the winter is alive, green and beautiful! The downside is that with all of these ridiculously lovely and skeletally thin people around, I am so self-conscious of my body and my looks that I wish I could be invisible!

With regard to my work/life balance – I am still doing much more work than socializing, but my work has been really exciting and I finally feel like I am starting to know some people in Belgrade, so all of that is fantastic. On the plus side – I am teaching my own course and giving lectures in a few other profs courses and this has been getting better and better each week! My work with the activist orgs in the region is going well too. They are starting to trust me more and give me more responsibility. On the less positive side – my stupid computer caught a virus (well more like stupid me b/c it happened when I tried to get a free download of LOST) and even after lots of time working it out with my dad, things still are not back to super perfect order.

Another down-side of my Beogradski Zivot lately is the things I have been missing… It is not the same things consistently, for the most part, but it is different things in varying intensities each week. Tuna sandwiches, my cat, Golden Grams, my bike, my cat, my family, the gym, my cat, my beach, my friends, Phillie restaurants, and my cat. I have also been missing actual physical human contact. I am so touch deprived that I am totally tempted to adopt a cat or dog while I am here and to bring it home at the end, but I am desperately trying to resist this urge. There are so many homeless pets here, and I want to pet them all, but I am afraid that they have parasites and other nasty things that feral, trash eating animals pick-up, so I am resisting this urge as well.

Which reminds me… I went to the zoo again yesterday afternoon. So many zoo babies it is adorable! Baby zebra, baby bear, baby wolves, baby lions…etc. I just wanted to hug them all! But I didn’t and I wouldn’t because as cute as they are, wild animals do not want to be kissed and hugged… Which brings me to my next point…

One really strange thing about the Belgrade zoo is that it is totally a “personal responsibility” zone. In most of the enclosures there is no space between the fence or cage and the sidewalk so you can easily stick your fingers in the cage. There are signs on each that say (in Serbian and English) THESE ARE DANGEROUS ANIMALS! DO NOT TOUCH!! But people ignore these signs to a certain extent. When it concerns the wolves and smaller deer-like creatures it is no matter as they seem relatively tame. But there is a cheetah exhibit that is death-defying in this capacity! Yesterday, as the small children squealed excitedly outside its enclosure, one of the cheetahs paced back and forth in anticipation of a child-sized snack. I wonder how many fingers are lost each year! Clearly this is a no law-suit nation totally relying on personal responsibility. If you are dumb enough to put your hand in a cheetah’s cage and that cheetah happens to make your hand a snack, you are responsible for the choice you made. A good system in theory, but astounding for us Americans.

Another great development for me is that I am finally starting to crack the code of the Cyrillic alphabet. The good thing is that I am finally able to decipher store windows, street signs and local graffiti, which because I am a visual learner is helping my language skills along. The bad part is that, more often than not, the graffiti and posters that I am now able to read are actually saying things that I was better off not understanding! Advocating nationalist creeps for president, begging for death to Nato/America/EU, and a whole barrage of nationalist slogans can be seen in poster and graffiti form! However, along with this, I have also noticed another hilarious phenomenon…

Now I have seen this before in other non-English speaking countries, but had forgotten about it…it is the phenomenon of non-sensical English writing. From t-shirts advocating US professional sports teams that don’t exist (New York Wolves) to unwittingly worn dirty slogans (Easy Lay, or Brazilian Wax Bikini Team), to erred knock-offs (like Mike instead of Nike), to my favorite – amusing mistakes that change the whole intended meaning. My recent favorite of these is the girl I saw on the tram a few weeks ago on my way home from work. Here stood this stick-thin hottie (as are most of the women here…so thin that from behind their legs look like if you picked up a piece of cooked spaghetti in the center) in a t-shirt depicting a cartoon stylish girl with her hands full of shopping bags. The text underneath said “Why not go to the suburbs for a day of shooting friends and fun!” Hilarious! Clearly “shooting” is supposed to be “shopping,” but to me, it is even more impactful as an ironic critique of the suburbs.

I have also seen a few “idioms” that just do not seem to translate into English in a way that I can make sense of. One local billboard says “It is difficult to force a frog into water!” Hmmm… I am not quite sure what this means, and the fact that it is an ad for mobile phones is even more confounding. I am guessing that it is suggesting that because a frog is already naturally inclined toward water that should he claim he was forced, it is a specious claim on the frog’s part. Like the misguided idea that a girl dressed provocatively who claims sexual harassment is not credible b/c her look “asks” to be sexually harassed? Or the even more uncomfortable phrase “you can’t rape the willing”??? I don’t know really. I have been thinking about it for a week though and I can’t decide what it means!

Another one I heard this weekend is supposed to be a Danish idiom – “In the dark all cats are grey.” At first I thought this was a sort of socialist statement that everyone is equal – like “we all put our pants on one leg at a time.” So imagine my surprise to learn the meaning as having to do with “hooking-up.” Like it doesn’t really matter what your “hook-up” looks like, as long as you are getting laid, because “in the dark, all cats are grey.” Hmmm…

Beyond the fact that my daily comings-and-goings have thankfully become routine in that I rarely get lost and have regained enough language to complete most simple transactions, I have a few exciting things coming up in the next few weeks…

- One of my besties, “A,” who grew up here, but now lives in Holland, is coming to visit her family and me for a week starting Monday!! WOO-HOO! I am so excited!! And while she is here I am getting my hair cut and colored – and it is far past due for this!

- Australian “L” is coming back through town on his way to Greece, which should be fun.

- A Bosnian activist/filmmaker/professor friend is coming through in a couple weeks, and I have organized a screening of his film while he is here! This is great b/c I am working in conjunction with several of the organizations here to make it possible. I am excited to get exposure for the film and to work more closely with the groups.

- AND…I am seeing “P” for 8 days in May! We are going to Italy!! His first time to Europe, so it should be fun. Will surely write about this and post pics!!

OK, well I have to cut this entry here b/c I have work to do. Will try to write more soon as the days go by. Thanks for reading and happy spring!

Down the Shore...

2009-04-07T15:19:00.003-04:00

Here it is...what you've been waiting for...

I saw this link on a friend's facebook and I had to add it here.

It's for everyone whose asked me what it is like to live in South Jersey...

http://www.philebrity.com/2009/04/06/breaking-rain-clears-sun-comes-out-phileb-staff-hops-in-the-car-to-go-to-guido-beach/

And one for Emma...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY4SF8xWKFo

Belgrade zoo...amazing animals...

2009-04-06T07:44:00.009-04:00

Went to Belgrade zoo yesterday. Lovely day...spring is here and all is lovely. I had a visitor over the weekend (a guest from Holland) and on Sunday morn we went to the Belgrade zoo. I will write about the whole visit later, but just had to share a few pics from the zoo.

Check out this amazing peacock that is in the Belgrade zoo... I've never seen anything like it!

So beautiful! Puts a regular peacock to shame!

When it is closed, it looks like a wedding dress...

Hard to believe that something so elegant and lovely is a male!

This one appears to be a mixed breed....or perhaps the elusive "skunk peacock"

I had never seen this bird before either...the zoo had so many cool birds. But this one reminded me that...like the strip club Deja Vu in Michigan...this zoo has hundreds of beautiful birds and one ugly one.

Porno-Skopje!

2009-04-05T21:29:00.005-04:00

PORNO-SKOPJE
Hi all! So I’ve had so many exciting adventures since the last time I wrote I am not even sure if I can get to writing about all of them tonight! But I will begin with my trip to Skopje, Macedonia - where I went for an academic conference.

I should first start by saying Skopje is awesome! What a super fun, really beautiful place! Great wine, friendly, attractive people, tons of good restaurants, beautiful scenery, and really affordable!!

After a harried few days teaching, packing and getting sorted out, I took the late flight into Skopje after teaching on Tuesday night. Arriving around 11pm, the hotel had sent a driver to pick me up. When I got into his very comfortable car, he immediately turned on the video screen in the passenger seat and proceeded to play a mix of pop and hip-hop videos for me…his favorites mostly, but he did take a few requests. After the ½ hour drive to my hotel, the driver, Goce, then let me check in, and drove me to get something to eat. He would then be my driver for most of the time there…which worked out excellently!

Goce dropped me off at the pizza place. I ordered a pizza for take away, and walked back to the hotel (about 10 minutes walk). On the way I passed a total of about 15 people, and much to my delighted surprise, each one looked up, smiled and said “Dobar vece” or the more informal “Zdravo!” Quite a change from Belgrade!

I got back to my room – which I must add, far exceeded my expectations! Clean, friendly, comfy, free wireless, etc. I highly recommend Hotel 7 to anyone going to Skopje. I turned on the TV while I ate my dinner. I was thrilled to find I had nearly 100 channels in English, Greek, German, Hungarian, Serbian, Macedonian, and maybe a few others. I watched an episode of CSI and then turned on CNN (for the 1st time in months!). When that got boring I began to flip around…and that’s then the unexpected happened…

…At one moment the TV was talking at a reasonable sound level about president Obama, but with an innocent flip of the channel it was suddenly blaringly loud, graphic pornography with a woman yelling “smack my ass! Smack my ass!” It’s late, the walls are thin, I flip it quickly, but the next channel is a Spanish telenovella. I go up one more, and NO JOKE…more graphic porn! To spare you 98 channels of this, I will summarize by saying that about every 3rd channel was a different manifestation and degree of pornography. There was a drag queen with a boy, a series of slides with skin pics, girl-on-girl, 2 girls and a boy...you name it!

It began to strike me as hilarious. First because I felt like “Don’t they know that they can charge for this stuff in hotel rooms?” And second because in Serbia I my TV gets 9 channels that are pretty much constantly playing one of four genres of TV show A) Political discussion, B) Slutty girls singing and dancing, C) Spanish telenovellas, and/or D) Gameshows. I come to Skopje and am not only spoiled for programming choice, but I seem to have dropped into a zone where “anything goes.” This atmosphere of friendliness in conjunction with what seems like a relatively open culture strikes me more like Budapest than like Belgrade.

OK, the next morning Goce picked me up to go to the conference. As Macedonia is like all mountains (which I did not realize) it was snowing pretty badly. The first day of the conference was held at a private university called FON. Here all the university students wear uniforms. They are all really attractive, and the facilities are finer than any university I have been to in the US. The talks were mostly very interesting. The people were a good mix of Macedonians, and other internationals, and there was a mix of youngish, mid-ish, and older than Moses. Every several hours we had a coffee break and were taken to the campus lounge – which looked like a swanky martini bar!

After the conference, Goce picked me up and drove me back to the hotel. That night I met up with a Macedonian friend who I know from a conference in Bosnia a few years back, “I.” We went out to dinner at a traditional kavana, drank rakia, ate delicious local specialties and giggled a lot. After dinner “I” gave me a tour of the city. We took photos at Mother Teresa’s house, and she showed me the train station which is one of the only remaining buildings from the terrible earthquake that shook Skopje in the 1960s. In fact, nearly every Macedonian I spoke to mentioned the earthquake, and someone said that as many as 1 in 5 people in Skopje died (or were injured…I can’t recall) in the earthquake.

Train station - stopped in time of earthquake

Interestingly, there is an old bridge in Skopje that looks like many other old bridges in the region…and most like the WWI bridge in Sarajevo. The bridge also withstood the earthquake. A few years ago, when they were restoring the bridge, they found a ton of dynamite in the bridge that had been left there when the Nazis pulled out in WWII. Amazingly, it did not detonate for the Nazis, and even more amazingly, it did not detonate during the earthquake!

At the Old Bridge

The next morning, Goce picked me up again and drove me to the pick-up point where all the remaining conference people met at like 7am to drive to Lake Ohrid. By now the sun had come out and I could see for the first time how really mountainous and lovely Skopje was! As we drove to Ohrid, we stopped on the outskirts of a town called Tetovo to hear a couple lectures at the South East European University. Lovely town, but a rather strange looking campus – modular.

At the South East European University - Tetovo

We then went on the Ohrid…and it was so very lovely! Reminded me of a combination of Lake Louise (near Banff where my sister got married) and Dubrovnik. A big, clean, mountain stream fed lake surrounded by a village reminiscent of Dubrovnik – with an ancient fortress, centuries old churches, an ancient Roman excavation site, and all surrounded again by huge mountains. After spending the day walking around, touring the sites, we went to the local Culinary/Hospitality Vocational High School and had wine, rakia and food. After a few rakias, and a few laughs with the director, most of the group left to go shopping a 3 of us stayed for another rakia and a chat with the director.

Church at Lake Ohrid

Beautiful scenery of Ohrid

Lake Ohrid

Me at Lake Ohrid

The trip home was long, of course, and we had some added drama when the bus unwittingly left one man’s wife at the rest-stop on the top of the mountain (one lane road) and we had to figure out how to get her back. When we got back to Skopje, I went for a bite to eat with one of the new conference buddies I had been hanging out with, “D”.

The perfect ending to a perfect day…we went to a MEXICAN restaurant (MY FAVE!) and had burritos and mojitos. “D’s” girlfriend – a stunningly beautiful, friendly and fun woman – met up with us, and had a few drinks and then all walked home together laughing and being silly. As we walked I told them about the porno-channel experience, and not a minute after I finished telling them about it, we came around the corner to face a huge billboard. Depicted on this immense advertisement for some mobile phone company is a (sexy) nun with puffy lips like Angela Jolie injected with Novocain. I said “Whoa! What’s with the Porno-nun?” To which “D” said “That is why the pope is always happy!” And in that moment it seemed like the place was a “pornoSkopje!”

The last day of the conference Goce had another job, and I decided to walk outside and just flag any taxi. Now, up to this point I had Goce driving me, had been with people from the city, and had gotten by with speaking Serbian and English. I hadn’t picked up a map (like an idiot) and figured it would be no problem to get where I was going. I flagged the first cab I saw…BIG MISTAKE! I think a good rule of thumb is that if the car looks like it was likely already a rust-bucket death-trap 10 years ago, you should probably not get in. I would also say that if you absent-mindedly do flag this type of cab, but the driver has less than 5 teeth, go ahead and let that one go by. But no…I got in, and to my surprise, this driver did not speak Serbian or English…nor did he have any idea where I wanted to go. When he dropped me off at some high school and I had no map and no idea where I was…I began to panic a little! It wasn’t a bad neighborhood, I just felt really stupid and conspicuous and lost.

After a bit of wandering, I flagged another cab…a nice one…and was brought to my destination. The last day our lectures were at a 3rd university – the Electrical Engineering Faculty. Here we saw all kinds of electrical stuff, concept cars (so Jersey baby!) and a exhibition of their commercial video program. We then disbanded as a conference and a group of us went to lunch. It was a beautiful day! We had a long lunch with amazing regional wine and then walked the city together…seeing the old bridge, the fortress and other sites.

Concept car w/Jersey style

As we were making our way to the birthplace of Mother Teresa (a Catholic Albanian born in Skopje) I hear someone calling my name. Who would I know here I wonder? I turn around to see the Australian, “L” who I had hung out with in Belgrade the previous week! He joined our clan and we proceeded to visit the Mother Teresa house and then proceeded to the old market – the Turkish part of the city. Coffee, sweets, and then we toured an old Hamam (Turkish bath house) that was now an art museum…lovely!

Mother Teresa's House

Hamam (Turkish Bath House) in Old Market

Museum inside Hamam

That night, my last in Skopje, I first went out with “I” and her friends to a great little bar that is attached to a huge art space. We had such a great time! And Aussie “L” met us as well. Afterward, “L” and I went to a party hosted by “D.” What a lovely flat! We snacked, drank rakia, listened to music…all of that. The evening was decisively ended when “D,” who had sat in front of the computer to change the music, suddenly began to snore very loudly…asleep at the wheel!

The next day Goce picked me up to take me to the airport. Hung-over and exhausted, I made my way to the tiny Skopje airport to fly to Cologne, to take a train to Amsterdam for a few days…and that is where I will stop for now. I will write all about A’dam later this week. Again - I had a blast in Skopje! Can't wait to go back!

Love this!

2009-03-21T14:17:00.000-04:00

I love baby animals. If you love baby animals, check this out...

http://www.zooborns.com/

Suggestions Please...

2009-03-19T14:53:00.001-04:00

LOOKING FOR SUGGESTIONS…

OK, just a quick post here…I am looking for suggestions in a few areas…

I just sorted out my scheduled obligations for the next few months…there are some really intense weeks on the horizon! But gleefully peppered with a few trips. This next week I go to Skopje, then for the weekend in Holland. Then in May I am meeting “PC” in Italy…HOORAY! I am also still hoping to take a long weekend in Istanbul in June as well. But that is not all sorted out yet, so more on that later.

So…this will be “PC’s” first trip to Europe! We are meeting in Rome and then going to Venice and Florence with a night in Bologna (for a taste of real Bolognese). I have been several times to Rome and Venice, only once to Florence, and have not been to Bologna. I am really excited to go. I usually have been there in the heat and crowd of summer so May should be nice. Given that he has not been to Europe and that he is so proud of his Italian heritage and loves food, I think we are going to have a great time!

***If anyone has suggestions for special or especially good restaurants (high end or budget) - in Rome especially, but also in Venice, Florence, and/or Bologna - please let me know. I am looking for treats in each place that may not be in the guidebook. ”PC” is an authentic “foodie” and knows tons about food and wine, so I want to try to take him to some good places and/or to be sure that we don’t miss a special good food or wine experience in each place. Please send me any suggestions you have.****

OK…a minor digression to tell you that …OWWWW! My knee is killing today!!! I fell again yesterday while walking home from work. I swear the crumbling pavement and my Judas ankles are conspiring to prevent me from remaining upright as much as possible!! Last time I sustained an injury here (as I detailed in an earlier post, with pics and all) I fell getting off the tram. I blamed my shoes and a hole in the street. That wound was gross looking but not really a bad injury. It was a huge bruise on my leg and bloody knees and hands. This time there is only a small mark, but the real injury is something behind my knee…it’s fine as long as I don’t try to bend it too much or straighten it too much! Which should be no problem considering that I walk everywhere, and live up several flights of stairs… right?

Damn! And I am leaving town Tuesday…I do hope it feels a bit better by then. And I hope I haven’t done permanent damage…for many reasons…not the least of which is that walking is important – both to my life here and to my life in general as well as to my plan to shed unwanted poundage. ARRGHHH! Why am I so clumsy! Along with my compulsive motor-mouth, my clumsiness is my most hated quality!

(OK…I almost let myself go on a litany of things I hate about myself here, but I am not going to do that to myself…or to you…positive thinking…focusing on spending the self-critiquing time and energy on critical scholarly writing instead…channel obsessive perfectionism into my work…more productive that way anyhow…)

OK…well other than that…I am planning on working for most of the weekend so I shouldn’t be moving around too much anyhow…the injury and the predicted snow for the weekend should keep me inside and productive.

So back to my request for various suggestions…next up…music…

So, to my surprise, I really like Amy Winehouse! I had never listened to her before, having avoided jumping on the train-smash band wagon, but I had seen the train wreck in the tabloids for a while. Well, I have been treating myself to a few new downloaded songs each week, and I finally gave in and decided to give her a listen. She is great! I especially love “Back in Black” and “Rehab.” I like her voice, I like the sound of the music, but what really makes it something fantastic is her ability to code really scandalous lyrics behind this retro/50s-innocent sound. She is totally unapologetically singing about co-dependence sex, enjoying crack, and most hilariously to me, at one point even about her lover not being able to “complete the task” because he is too wasted…things like this.

A few other faves at the moment that I have recently discovered include Duffy, Lilly Allen, Lady GaGa, Flo Rida, the Alison Krauss/Robert Plant stuff, and some great bluegrass, but especially some Jerry Garcia solo stuff (which, despite my youthful brush with the Grateful Dead, Dead tour, Dead-head life style and the dozens of Dead bootlegs I so religiously collected for so long, Jerry’s genuine brilliance is only now becoming clear to me, and I would rather hear the Jerry stuff over the Dead any day at this point).

As far as specific songs that have been in my current fave rotation…that song “Paper Planes” by MIA (from the Slumdog soundtrack – remix is good too! – In fact I pretty much love the whole Slumdog soundtrack), a Morrissey song “America is not the World,” a new discovery from old fave Tom Waits called “Jockey Full of Bourbon” (of course I love anything Bourbon related and anything Tom Waits related, so this is pretty much the perfect find!), and one of my super faves at the moment is the T.I./Justin Timberlake “Dead and Gone” track…very hot!

And now, for my most embarrassing admissions…(a little reward for any who have read this far)…I have also been stuck on 2 Miley Cyrus songs – “7 things” and “See you Again” – as well as many of the songs from Britney’s Circus album – especially “Womanizer” and “Circus” – as well as an assortment of remixes of two other Britney songs, “Piece of Me” (which I LOVE), and “Gimme More.”

Finally, two pop faves that I have been listening to since last summer, but that I am still loving…Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” (which I have a secret fantasy about singing at lesbian karaoke one night), and Nickleback’s “Rockstar” (which reminds me of my time in Budapest…with a few choice word changes to properly reflect “the group”).

Overall, I have a really wide and eclectic taste in music. I have over 6,000 songs on my ipod of every genre. Right now I am especially partial to global hip-hop (in English or otherwise), bluegrass, pop-remixes or mash-ups and of course Euro-pop. I am also a big fan of good acoustic stuff like Josh Rouse, Jack Johnson, etc. and bands of all sorts that just sound good to me like Scissor Sisters, Postal Service, and even Maroon 5. I love old stuff like Edith Piaf, old country like Johnny Cash and even Willie Nelson, and have been into rock of the decades lately like 90s stuff (Jane’s Addiction, Pearl Jam, STP, Alice in Chains, Black Crows and even NIN), 80s (Heart, Metallica), 70s (Sabbath, Aerosmith). But I actually love and/or appreciate most kinds of music – really, honestly, all kinds from all time periods, from all countries, from all genres…well most genres…

– (OK…DISCLAIMER: I don’t care for most Christian music. I hate nationalist super pro-American-new Country – I think Gretchen Wilson is emblematic of all I hate about US culture, and I feel ashamed anytime I hear any kind of “America will put a boot in your ass” type of country music [though I love old country, all bluegrass and some new pop-country]. Further, I am no longer angry enough at the world to enjoy screaming angry dark death metal [though I like old industrial, goth, and/or old metal like Sabbath or Metallica]. I feel very uncomfortable when I hear super angry violent misogynist hip-hop [though I love hip-hop with smooth grooves and nice lyrics and am especially partial to Eminem, Snoop, Biggie, and Nelly]. And, while I love most electronic music, my least favorites are probably garage techno, and drum-and-base. Finally, although I do love a lot of pop, there is plenty that is annoying and that I can’t tolerate [like that stupid Umbrella song, or that Beyonce “Put a ring on it” song])

****So with this in mind, any suggestions for artists or songs I should check out are appreciated.***

I have also been still a devotee of my weekly “The American Life” podcasts…I highly recommend this clever and enthralling weekly NPR radio documentary if you have not given it a shot! You can get free weekly downloads from Itunes, or can listen to any episode for free at http://www.thislife.org/ . And have recently enjoyed the John Stewart audiobook version of “America,” and the Steve Martin audiobook “Born Standing Up.” I really like when audiobooks are narrated by the author. I do enjoy audiobooks when travelling, but I still prefer a really good paperback page-turner. I love a good story...the kind you can't wait to find out what happens next!

***So my final request for suggestions…any suggestions you have for good audiobooks, podcasts or a really good page-turning piece of fiction that I should check out are appreciated***

OK, so back to work. Thanks for reading and I look forward to any suggestions you have. I hope you enjoyed, or at least got a giggle from, this list of my current music obsessions :-)

Moj Beogradski Zivot...

2009-03-18T20:23:00.000-04:00

Well, I guess it has been quite some time since my last post detailing my Belgrade life. I had promised myself to try to post weekly, but things have sped up exponentially for me in the last month, increasing in intensity weekly, and while the blog has been on my “to do” list each weekend, my actual professional work has taken precedence. But in the interest of trying to record as much of my time here as possible, I figured I’d better take a moment to catch up here…so here goes…

Since my last post things have gotten quite busy and have been really exciting. I am now team teaching a graduate seminar in Critical Media Studies with my faculty mentor, “S,” and will be teaching a stand-alone undergraduate Critical Media course as well. So I am pretty excited about all of that.

My undergrad class is a great group. They are all women, which I am thrilled about, and they are really excited to learn. One student told me that at the university here, they rarely have an opportunity to take a critical seminar, nor to think critically about media and culture and the ways they intersect. The model of teaching here tends to be lecture-memorize-repeat, so a course that is largely discussion based is a very different experience for most undergraduates.

I am also team teaching a Women’s Studies course with a woman who I admire greatly, “D.”

“D,” a Serbian woman who incidentally got her PhD at Rutgers and who speaks finer English than I, recently gave a brilliant lecture here where she adapts some of the central ideas of Hannah Arendt to speak to the process of post-conflict transition here. “D” has been a great ally and friend to me, and I am so happy to know her!! Anyhow, “D” runs the Women’s Studies Center here in Belgrade. When she started the center it was considered too radical to be part of the university, and she built and maintained it all with outside funding, offering unofficial degrees with free classes taught by professors from the university, unpaid, that were taken by students on their own in conjunction with their regular courses. The center is now a part of the university, but it has been a long road, and the whole process has made “D” a well respected and admired member of the scholarly, peace-activist and feminist communities here.

Possibly the most exciting development in my own university-centered scholarly life here is that I have been invited by the university to stay on for the fall semester. I do not know if this will be a possibility as yet, because there still has to be funding from my fellowship to make this possible, but the embassy here has endorsed me, so now I am waiting to see what Washington will offer. If the offer is enough for me to live on, and if my current home institution in the US approves, I will stay until December.

While living here presents its unique challenges and it is certainly no picnic on a day-to-day basis, the work I am doing here feels so important and relevant, and I am getting so much writing and thinking done! I sincerely hope that it works out that I can stay. If so, I will come home to the US for 6 weeks, from mid-July through labor day, and will come back to Serbia through mid-December. If not, I will go home to NJ in mid-July and will prepare for my fall term in the US. Aside from the work I am doing at the university, another reason I would very much like to stay on here for a while more is my work with the local feminist peace activist group, Women in Black.

Since my last post, in the course of my volunteer position with Women In Black, I was able to attend a lecture by a local feminist scholar, Zagorica Golubovic. She had been part of a movement during the Tito years that was removed from the universities for anti-Tito protests, was reinstated in the 1980s, and then retired during the Milosevic years when she found she did not agree with nationalist policies either. Her lecture was fantastic! Very contemporary! And also most interesting to me was the fact that the entire lecture was in Serbian, yet she spoke so clearly and passionately that I totally understood. After the lecture, when I spoke with her, it turns out that she was a guest professor at Haverford during the years between her dismissal and her return to the Serbian academy…more evidence to me that Haverford College is a model institution in my mind!

The group hosts many interesting lectures. Today there was one by a Biology Professor on bio-ethics and embryonic research, in which the new Obama lift on Bush’s ban figured prominently. In a few weeks I will be speaking to the group as well…though I doubt if I will be as impressive as the people I have seen speak there so far!

Further, another important part of the group’s work is their public demonstrations. Ranging from post-war issues to gender equality to gay rights (a topic that receives a terrifying amount of venom here) the organization stages public demonstrations of many varieties. They also engage in various regional outreach programs and other related training seminars for would-be activists across the region.

I thoroughly enjoy working for this group. I am meeting so many fascinating people, learning endless things about the past and contemporary political and social culture of the region, and am gaining infinite insight for my scholarly writing. Also, due in no small part to the fact that the group’s figure head, a 3 time Nobel Peace Prize nominee and world renowned activist, speaks largely only in Serbian and at such a pace as to give my own notorious excited ramblings a run for their money, my language skills are improving exponentially! I have also been so fortunate as to have made a genuine friend here in “J.”

Honest, funny and charming with super-hero intellect and an ever greater gift for patience, “J,” an American girl from California with a degree from Smith who is here for a two year post in between her MA and PhD in history, has become a sort of “partner in crime.” Together we decipher Cyrillic signs, Serbian language and vague directions to traverse both the city and the landscape of the organization.

While my weeks here typically consist of week-days at the university, and at the Women in Black, and evenings and weekends in my apartment furiously writing, I have occasionally taken time for other things. Each week I usually have dinner at least one night with the family of my Fulbright colleague “E” and his wife “M.” This has become so enjoyable that I come to think of it as going home to the family for dinner. A concert of a nice home-cooked meal, (as opposed to my usual fair of packaged soup, pasta, frozen spinach or whatever else can be made in ten minutes or less), a few glasses of whiskey, and a few hours of conversation that ranges from music to the wonders of daily Serbian life to chats with the kids about various things (including their occasional sightings of the Belgrade zoo’s one-eyed seal pup, and the school-day intrigues of the two older boys), I look forward to these weekly meals.

Also, usually once a week, “J” and I try to go out for a drink and a chat. While finding the desired place is often a challenge, the truth is that the walk is typically more of the “event” than the sitting for the drink itself. While I have had a few good experiences going out in the city here, more often than not it is abundantly clear that we are not exactly the most desired clientele. It is hard to explain really…it is not anything specific about “J” and I, more about the culture here, and the way they feel about Americans in general. I think I can best explain it by way of a chance encounter I had on my way home a few days ago…

While walking down the street at about 9pm, I was approached by two women who were…unusually…smiling! They asked me in Serbian if I knew where a certain restaurant was located. Thrilled that I actually understood what they were asking, I answered in Serbian that I did not know, but that I had a Belgrade guidebook with me. I pulled out the book, and they immediately switched to accented English, exclaiming in giggles that they had been practicing what they would say in Serbian for 2 blocks before they decided to approach someone! It turned out I was talking with two Italians who work for their embassy here. I asked them how they like living in Belgrade and one responded “It’s OK…I mean we like it….it just takes some getting used to!” The other than chimed in “Yeah, I mean it is like there is a penalty for smiling here, as if it is against the law!”

And that about sums it up…it’s nice, but it takes some getting used to. People are lovely, but not exactly thrilled that you are here. And smiling, especially on the street in the company of strangers, is about as common as eyeglasses for a Cyclops. To further emphasize this point, Cafes, bars and restaurants will typically, even if empty, have “reserved” signs on the tables, and if you don’t appear to be their desired clientele, they will often claim that there is a birthday party coming in, and that they have no room.

This is frustrating, and makes me really uncomfortable because I hate knowing that I am in a situation where people do not like me. I don’t care that I know that there are people in the world that do not like me…as a concept I mean…because no one is liked by everyone and no one likes everyone, and usually I will either avoid people who I know do not like me, or if forced into a situation with them, both parties will be civil and make appropriate pretenses. So I find it difficult to know that at any given moment at least ½ of the people on the street already do not like me, simply because I am American.

Now, I completely understand why, in theory, people in other countries may not like Americans, especially given our foreign policy, our tradition of cultural and capitalist imperialism, and the ways in which we are somewhat of a loud, globally unaware, “bull in a China shop” as travelers – and especially given the local take on our role here in the 1990s, the NATO bombings in 1999, and what is perceived as our meddling in the affairs of this nation overall. However, these are stereotypes and one can make generalizations about any culture, or can dislike any nation’s government policies, but still, when you meet people, you give them a fair shake. Some people here do give us a fair shake, but many do not. This makes me supremely anxious and uncomfortable whenever I leave the house. I try to see it as an opportunity to be an “ambassador of my people,” but more often than not, I move through space being as invisible as possible, and hoping to avoid unanticipated encounters.

This in conjunction with the loose temporal urgency of people here (nothing is important enough to be done NOW), the broken streets that seem to conspire against my attempts to remain upright (I fell again today with the force of an egg dropped from a 5th story roof…my left knee is in such pain that I hope I have not done permanent damage), the grammatical puzzle that plagues my efforts to master the language (there are no prepositions, instead, each word changes its form to denote prepositions), and a host of other minor frustrations, as well as the overwhelming sadness I feel when I see the poverty of the formerly middle class, and the fact that there is so much potential and desire in the nation’s youth that is thwarted by the backwards bureaucracy so resistant to change and the draconian travel and visa restrictions that the rest of Europe and the US place on the people here because of the government and their f’d-up politics, means that this is not what I would consider a particularly easy place to be a foreigner.

Still, even with these frustrations, I am deliriously happy for the opportunity to be here. I love my work at the university and with the WiB. I love the fact that I am getting so much writing and scholarly work done. I love the challenges of learning to negotiate my day-to-day life here. And I especially love the fact that being here makes me hyper-aware of all of the things I take for granted every day, and, as cheesy as it is, makes me appreciate small things I have at home.

I love it that I am grappling with a foreign language, and that I live in a place where my every wish is not as easy as hopping in the car and heading to the nearest shop. I love it that students and interested citizens (as well as university profs and activists) will attend lectures or performances in their free time…without extra credit or incentive. I love that it is normal to have a beer or glass of wine with lunch, but that rarely do I see people intoxicated. I love walking everywhere (when I don’t fall down), and much of the time I actually like being invisible.

OK…one last bit to say here…

I want to tell you about a great night out I had last weekend…

We had been invited by the embassy to attend a performance at the Philharmonic hall of a string quartet that was visiting. I brought “J” and we met “E” and “M” there as well. We all got dressed in the best clothes we brought, which is not saying much considering you are only allowed 2 suitcases and one of mine was filled with books! When we arrived at the hall, the first thing I noticed was that everyone, from age 8 to age 80, was dressed in modern, stylish clothes with matching shoes and expensive handbags…yes I felt a little ashamed as I became increasingly aware of how shabby my clothes looked in comparison, but I was not going to let that put a damper on my evening…I had so been anticipating a fun evening out!

The performance was lovely! And afterward there was a wine and champagne reception – (where incidentally some of the same impeccably dressed folks could be seen pouring 3 or 4 free glasses of wine into larger cups to get as much free wine as possible) – and we stayed a bit, had a glass of wine and chatted. I was excited that I actually ran into a few Serbian people I now know here, as well as a few Americans I have met at the embassy.

Afterward, the four of us went to the nearby, well-known Plato café where we had a few cocktails and chatted. Having had a babysitter for the first time since their arrival in September, “E” and “M” went home at about 10pm, and “J” and I met up with a her roommate and another friend of hers. Us girls then went out to one of the hundreds of floating nightclubs that line the rivers here.

When we first arrived it was totally empty, with only us and the workers. We were about to leave when someone stopped us and said that within ½ hour the place would be packed. Skeptical, but ready for another drink, we decided to stay for one drink and see what happened. Almost immediately the music started and it was hot! Soon joined by a Serbian friend of one of the girls, we started chatting and dancing a bit, and true to the bartender’s word, the place was soon so packed there was barely room to move! The music was funky and fun, and we danced like crazy for hours! When we decided we were tired and ready to leave - at about 3am - the place was still so packed that it took us about 10 minutes to work our way to the door! All-in-all…the most fun night I’ve had out in Belgrade since my arrival! While my nights out in Budapest were all fantastic fun, I had not been out for a really fun night in Belgrade since my arrival, and this one was just what I had needed!!

So…next Tuesday I leave for Skopje, Macedonia for a conference, and will then spend the weekend with my cousin and some friends in Holland. In the five days before that adventure begins I have a mountain of work on my plate for this weekend, classes to teach, and a WiB day on Monday. I am looking forward to seeing Skopje, and to being back in Holland for a few days. After that, I will come back and will host a Dutch artist/activist for a few days while she does some work here in Belgrade, and will further come back to a schedule of classes, WiB work, writing and invited lectures that is already forming the foundations of the inevitable mountain of anxiety that I know will overcome me while I am gone.

Still I am excited for the inevitable adventures I will have in the next week, and I look forward to coming back and writing about it.

As always, thanks for reading! Until next time…

a quick trip down the ole Budapest memory lane...

2009-03-18T18:39:00.000-04:00

Well…it has been a while since my last post, so I thought it was time again to offer an update…

In addition to my work and my life in Belgrade, which I will detail in another post, shortly after my last post, I travelled to Budapest for a weekend. As some of you know, I had lived for a time in Budapest before moving to Georgia to pursue my PhD studies. When I lived there, I met a most amazing group of people from all over the world, many of which with whom I am still very close. With this group I spent my every waking moment for the entire time I lived there. I have travelled many places, before that time and since, and have met people from all walks of life and from many nations, and sadly, many of their names and faces remain only in overlapping foggy bits of memory and the occasional photograph. Yet, the people who made-up the core group of my B’pest crew each remain as distinct and sharply drawn in my mind as when we were “the group,” nearly 10 years ago now…so much so that a few of us call the zenith of that time the “summer of love.” (and I am not sure I have any photographs of that time)

Many times since then I have tried to write about those people and our escapades, but have found myself at a loss. The truth is that anything I could say about any one of them would seem like a caricature of a person, or at the very least, would seem as if I were exaggerating, so I will not try here to paint them for you. What I will say is that, while in nostalgic memory, every moment of that time seems like the best time ever, it would not be accurate to remember that every moment was sunshine or that we all loved each other without exception at every turn. However, I think it would be accurate to say that, regardless of any flaws we may have occasionally found with one another, and regardless of any frustrations any one of us had with any other, over all I don’t think that anyone in retrospect would wish that any individual member of “the group” wouldn’t have been there. This is simply because, in my humble opinion, each of these people individually would likely have been one of the most unusual and interesting people that most people would ever have occasion to meet, so that in concert we kept each other endlessly entertained, and had occasion to take part in a seemingly infinite series of adventures.

In any event, I try to go back to Budapest for a few days whenever I am in Europe. There are still a few people from the old group living there, and usually a few more are passing through concurrently, so Budapest is always a fun old time. This time was no exception. Being in Budapest this time reminded me so much of why I loved living there…lots of fun things to do in the evenings, meeting random fun people in conjunction with old friends, dancing, drinking and general merriment into the wee-hours each night. Further, after being for several months now in Belgrade, where all the streets were planned long before urban planning was a concept, and where the narrow streets and compact features allow you to feel a bit closed-in, I was astonished by Budapest’s wide, beautiful streets and lovely buildings. The funny thing is that while I have always loved Budapest, and always thought it was pretty, I had never thought of it as really beautiful…I mean “it’s no Prague.” But this time I completely fell in love with it again!! It seemed so beautiful to me!!

Also while I was there we went to see Slumdog Millionaire…finally! I can’t believe I waited so long to see this film. I LOVED it!!! First of all…the soundtrack is brilliant! But I also loved the story. However, I am a little confused as to why to was billed a “feel good” movie…can someone please explain to me which part was supposed to make us feel good? Was it the part where the boy’s brother steals and sells the trophy for which the boy literally struggled through shit and crowds to obtain? Or perhaps it was the part where the boys’ mother was massacred? Or maybe it was the part where the kids were “rescued” from their life picking through trash at the city dump…only to be slaves? Or the part where the boy is blinded? Or the boy is electrocuted? Oh so many feel good moments! In fact, as the film ended (incidentally, I did think the ending was kind of lame) I had to sit for a good 10 minutes trying to stop the “feel good” tears before I could go into the light of the theatre lobby! Anyhow…despite the gross mislabeling of the film as “feel good,” and the trite ending, I loved loved loved this film, and have been listening to the soundtrack constantly ever since!!

OH…one more thing here…I had brought a book with me on the train trip which I anticipated reading on both the trip to and from Budapest. About ½ way there, I opened the book which was a little over 300 pages. By the time I arrived, I had about 100 pages left, which I finished the next morning! God I love a good story!! I ate this one up! It is called Water for Elephants…and I LOVED every minute of it. I don’t want to spoil it in case anyone wants to read it, but it you are in the market for a really engaging tale, I highly recommend it!

Anyhow, after my weekend trip to Budapest, I returned to Belgrade, and for the next week I felt in an utter panic. You see, somehow in the last several years I have become a sort of work-addict and while each time I take a break and go on some kind of holiday, I realize as soon as I leave how much I needed the break, I also constantly feel guilty for any moment I am not working, and as I am on the return trip my anxiety about all the things I should have been working on comes rushing upon me with intensity. So once I returned from B’pest, with the glow of a great weekend still persisting around me, I set out on a major work jag to rival any party-girl jag I would have undertaken a decade ago.

In closing, I miss my Budapest friends, and I hope to see them again soon…either again in B’pest or here in Belgrade. And while, of course, the care-free days of the “summer of love” can never fully be recaptured, I am so grateful that so many of these amazing people are still part of my life.

What a day to forget my camera!

2009-03-18T17:36:00.001-04:00

What a day to forget my camera! Last Thursday was the 6th anniversary of the assassination of Serbian President Zoran Dzidzic. As I mentioned in a previous post, Dzindzic became president after the ousting of Milosevic, and was widely regarded as the “hope and change” president. He was assassinated by nationalist gangsters, and the nation mourned.

Last week I participated in the commemoration of Dzindzic’s death. Hundreds of people gathered at 11am to begin the commemorative march, which began near the place where he was killed. Many more people joined as the crowd walked through the streets, past the main square, Trg Rebuplika, and stopped first to meet current president Tadic. Tadic then took the lead, and the crowd proceeded to walk through the city, finally coming to a halt at around 1pm at the cemetery where Dzindzic is buried. There the group filed, one-by-one, past Dzindzic’s grave, each laying a flower upon the site. This process took several hours, but still the crowd was orderly. By the time it was my turn, the spot was completely covered with flowers. It was beautiful…both the hundreds of flowers and the fact that so many people turned out from every possible walk of life.

I had regarded Dzindzic’s death as a shadow over the hopefulness of the people that maybe they were emerging from the darkness of the Milosevic years. Yet seeing so many gathered to commemorate him what he represented made me both sad for the opportunity that was lost with his death and that so many people still feel his loss so strongly, but at the same time, happy in a sense because I think that people are ready and waiting for another leader like him.

I was unsure of what to expect when I showed up for this march. I had some fear of reprisal or of some kind of disruptive, sporadic violence, and my American colleague and I were silent for much of the time, wanting to avoid calling attention to ourselves. Yet this huge crowd, with everyone from dreadlocked hippy-types to young hip teens to stylish middle-aged women to feminist activists and older communist era loyalists, was peaceful, respectful, and reverent. The path of the march was blocked to traffic, and a combination of police and volunteers walked the edges of the crowd, but not in a threatening way.

I was also reminded how interesting Orthodox cemeteries are. Many of the gravesites have tiny photos of the dead on the headstone. Families of the dead are responsible for the upkeep of the site, so some are well kept while some are overgrown. It is traditional to leave flowers at the graves (in even numbers – which by the way, means that a dozen roses are NEVER an appropriate gift) and to light these small yellow beeswax candles with a prayer. Also often left at the sites are favorite things the person enjoyed in life, so that there are such things as cigarettes, beer, snack chips, and other such things frequently left at the sites. Then, as one leaves the graveyard, it is traditional to wash one’s hands before leaving, as if symbolically washing death away.

Aside from being able to be a part of this amazing event, because the path of the march traversed the city from end-to-end, I was able to take in so much of the city! And it was a beautiful early spring day! Rain was forecast, but the sun shone for most of the time. Overall, it was a very moving day, I was nearly moved to tears several times. I am so glad to have been able to witness all of it.

Pink dolphin...awesome!

2009-03-03T05:05:00.002-05:00

This may be the most perfect creature ever! In the rivalry between polar bears and dolphins for my power animal, I think dolphins just pulled ahead!! Now if anyone sees an article about a blue polar bear, let me know...

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=67258209492&h=xyDWs&u=AO2vx

Boooogie-Voogie...

2009-03-02T21:01:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Emma, I now know where the fantastic Booogie-Voogie song I mentioned in last week's post has come from. Check out this great song and video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGuFn0RPgaE

good week...a few observations...a few adventures...

2009-02-22T09:53:00.003-05:00

Well…I thought that I would take the time to write one more entry, for my own memory’s sake, to record the things that actually happened here in the last week or so since I last sat down to write.

So with the excessive snow fall and the fact that I was really in the mood to get some serious work done, last weekend was largely dedicated to writing. I really don’t mind at this point that I don’t know that many people socially. I have a couple friends here in Belgrade, plus a few in the broader region and that is fine with me for now. I am just so thoroughly enjoying time to write, and think about my work.

There is also this odd thing that others have commented on as well, and that is the fact that being here, working and productive, safe and solvent, but alone in a lot of ways…well…it gives one a chance to be really introspective, and I am really pleased about this. I have needed some mental and physical space from work and from home and all of that for a long time. I feel like the last 10 years has been a lot of rushing from one place to the next, from one country to the next, from one project to the next, and for a while I have been craving some time to get perspective…on my life, on what it means to be a “real live” adult, on what I want from life and from my career…and being here is really giving me the opportunity to do that, so I was happy to be on my own for much of last weekend.

Saturday of last weekend my landlord, Aci, came over to collect the rent, talk about the bills, etc. He lives in the north of the country, near the border with Hungary, so it was a bit of a drive, and with the snow, it took longer than usual for him, so it was nice to sit and chat with him for a little while. When I first met him and his wife, Caca, on my first night here, I liked them instantly. They are cool, and interesting and open, just really great people. I really appreciate their candor about their war-time experiences and how it changed their lives….or really interrupted and paused their lives…and I respect their global minded views.

Sadly, this time Caca couldn’t come because she was working, but Aci brought instead his teen-age son, just turned 18, and just got his driver’s license, (the age is 18 here)so Aci even let him drive!! Additionally they brought for me a desk for working!!! HOORAY! As well as a DVD player and a coffee machine! (though by now I have gotten used to boiling Turkish coffee or drinking these delightful instant coffees that I get at the grocery). When Aci’s son hooked up the DVD player, there was a DVD in there already so we used it to test. The video was the son’s Punk band, for which he plays guitar, called “South Punk” – cute, eh – and their posters are the characters from South Park but headless. Anyhow, I really enjoyed their company for the afternoon, and I look forward to seeing them next month. Also, when the weather gets nicer, I will go spend a weekend at their village in the north, so I am excited about that as well.

On Sunday of last weekend, after a day of working, I went and had dinner with my Fulbright colleague, “E,” and his wife, “M,” (who is one of my few friends here) and their 3 kids. I am sure I have said this before, but I am crazy about their kids! Smart, cute, nice kids! 3 boys! I think they are 2, 5 and 7. What an amazing thing for her to move here with no language knowledge and no abroad experience with all the kids and all of that!! I also think that if Serbia were your first abroad experience you would definitely appreciate Western European travel much differently.

What I mean is that a person who has first experienced some of the more difficult aspects of living in a less economically prosperous nation would not be one of those annoying Americans in Paris or in Italy who complain loudly that the 4-star hotel is hardly up to their 4-star standards, (standard complaints from Americans include small rooms, noise, stinky bathrooms, stinky people, no English TV (or no TV at all) and staff that doesn’t speak English [oh the nerve! People who don’t speak English in a country that doesn’t have English as an official language! Didn’t they know “Joe 6-pack and Sally Winebox were coming to see the Eiffel tower!] ).

Yes, it is true that most Euro-hotels, even 4-star ones, are much older than American hotels, with much smaller rooms and fewer amenities than American ones. That is just how it is. My opinion is any place that is not ridiculously expensive where you have no bedbugs+ private shower and bathroom + sheets and towels included = a pretty excellent Euro-hotel experience! You don’t go to Italy to sit in your hotel room anyway!

Anyhow, I imagine that coming to Serbia, which is great in a lot of ways, but is very different from home in a lot of ways, is a culture shock experience and this family with whom I am friends has done a truly excellent job. I have no doubt that anyone who came to Serbia as their first Euro-trip, and especially someone who managed 3 kids here for a year on their first abroad experience, will find even a 2 star Italian hotel totally suitable! (In fact maybe everyone should have to spend a week in a less economically prosperous country before they are allowed to go to France or Italy!) OK…well I digress…in short – great family, great meal, we have a nice time together and my time here has been made a million times easier with them here!

So last week then…Monday – home working.

Tuesday – I was to be at school for a meeting with my mentor, “S”. I was kind of frustrated because 1st - I never get work done there, which means I gave up a day of work, and 2nd because “S” has called me in for the same meeting like 4 times. We talk about the same things, but we never decide anything…what I will teach, when, etc. At this meeting, after the same conversation we have had on four other occasions, she told me she wants to meet me again on Friday morning. UGH! So to be sure that Friday’s meeting was more productive, I spent some time coming up with a few proposals and concrete ideas for her to actually choose from, and this seems to have worked out a lot better.

Anyhow, as we left the office on Tuesday the tram ride home took ages b/c the trams were diverted from the town center. Tuesday was the one year anniversary of the official declaration of Kosovo’s independence from Serbia and we had been getting messages from the embassy all week about the potential for mass protests. Last year the protests turned violent, the US embassy was set on fire and one protester died. As we got back home it was starting to get dark and you could smell burning in the air and hear whistles and yelling. I was supposed to meet a different friend that night for dinner, but I cancelled and decided I would prefer to stay inside and out of site. The protests were fine, easily contained and not too crazy, but better safe than sorry I think!

[So for anyone who may not be aware of the history and context of the region, I have created another post called “overly-simplified regional historical and contemporary political context…in a nutshell” so you can get an idea of what happened in this region and what is happening now]

Wednesday – Was my day to work at Women in Black this week, and I described the snowy drama of the whole thing in a previous post… Basically, after wandering in the heavy snow, confused by the fact that all my landmarks looked so different in the snow, I eventually made it to work, though late and wet.

So my other friend here is an American girl, “J,” who I work with there at WiB. She is a fulltime worker with them, and I basically help her with whatever she needs as her work load is way more than one person could do.

After work Wednesday we decided to go out for food and drinks. Having cancelled our plans several times before because I was absorbed in writing, I couldn’t cancel again even thought I was so wet and so cold and did not want to be out in the snow…but I do like this person a lot, so I sucked it up and we went out. After about 1 ½ hours wandering aimlessly in the snow with no clear plan of where to go, I was once again very wet and cold and really no longer interested in social interaction. I was about to throw up the white flag when we found an adorable coffee place, stylish and cozy, and we had a drink and chatted for a couple hours. It was nice. It’s nice to have a friend with similar intellectual interests as I have because we are able to kick ideas around together, which I think we both like very much.

Thursday was a work at home day again – though I watched episodes of the shows I downloaded a little more than I should have…bad bad girl! I don’t have cable TV here, so I really just either turn on Serbian news to practice listening or occasionally I find a late night English movie. Other than that, I download episodes occasionally that I am meant to watch as I am winding down in the evening, but when the new LOST comes out each week I cannot help myself!

So that brings me to Friday…an action packed day but overall the very best day of the week this past week! I was up early to go meet my mentor with which I had a fabulous meeting this time…a real breakthrough!! I will be teaching a Critical Media Studies grad seminar and team teaching another course for the Women’s Studies Center. HOORAY! I will also be helping her work on archiving tons of news media footage from the war on the website she has designed for the Media Center here at the university. I am so happy we had a good meeting and she seems to finally be warming up and respecting me!

We also decided that I should begin Serbian lessons, and I think I will start when I get back from Budapest. I have heard that there are free classes being offered in the city center at the Philology School, so I am looking into it.

After I left her I realized that once again I forgot to put my map in my bag so I flagged a taxi to go to my next destination. Now…I wouldn’t normally report something as mundane as a taxi ride, but I have to tell you about this strange “ABBA-esque” near obsession I am noticing here. 1st of all, every time I go to the grocery store there is ABBA and ABBA-like disco music blaring from the ceiling speakers. The first few times I thought it was a coincidence, but by now I have actually come to recognize the songs and even find myself singing along!!! (God the poor employees! I wonder if it plays all day, or it just happens to be on when I go in the evenings).

Anyhow, as I got into the taxi on Friday, there was this awesome ABBA-inspired song playing and the hook went something like

“Yes sir, I ken boooogie, if the mood it hits me right. Yes sir I can booooogie Boooogie Voogie”

And yes, the exaggerated “oooo” in boogie and then the “v” in what I assume is “woogie.”

This is cracking me up in the taxi with a driver who is fit, very masculine, about 45 yrs old, and jammin’ to this silly song…a song that will never leave my head I am afraid!

Anyhow, my destination in the “Boooogie Voogie” taxi was the city headquarters of the national airline JAT Airlines – downtown. I needed to buy my ticket to Macedonia where I will go for a conference next month…HOORAY! And I had to go in person because there was some problem on the website and the whole week it would not take my credit card. Sooo…I had to explain to the guy what happened, ask him to be sure I didn’t buy like 10 tickets, and then buy the ticket that I needed. I was nervous, but “Boooogie Voogie” had brightened my mood, so I was excited to give it all a try….And the best part was that I conducted the entire transaction in Serbian! Like a 20 minute conversation! I don’t even know if he spoke English!

So elated and high from that little successful conversation and my great meeting with my mentor earlier, I walked home through the city and took some nice photos (you can see below) of various government buildings and cool stuff in the downtown.

Then…what I thought would be the absolute icing on the cake…I went and bought a printer!!! FINALLY! I will use it at my house while I am here and then will donate it to the university when I leave.

But…the day got even better when, after coming home for a few hours work, I met up with my friend “M.” We had a couple drinks at their place and hung with the family, then we decided to try to find a cool spot for dinner…and HOORAY again!!! We were successful!!!

The place is located in the part of town they call “Silicon Valley” based on the predominance of plastic surgery gangster girlfriends that frequent the places. Now I am totally not comfortable at these types of places, but it was early enough that I felt like us “normals” would be OK.

The place was soooo cute! It looked like one of the cool Phillie spots, (or, for any readers from the former UGA/Athens crowd, like a larger version of 283 Bar) with small dinner tables in the front window.

OK, so the staff was not the nicest to us, and the waiter ignored us a little, but I don’t really care. I am not here for the service. The food, however, made-up for everything! It was the best restaurant meal I have had here!! We shared a salad and a pizza – a perfect amount of food – and the salad was a big green spinach salad with egg and bacon and grilled chicken…really great! The pizza was equally awesome! And even though by the time we were finishing, some of the Silicon “Barbie” type crew was starting to arrive, a group of which sat next to us and after a while I realized they were talking about us and making fun of us…I again couldn’t care less!

I was a little uncomfortable once I realized they were talking mean about is, but in all honesty, my general attitude about it is “Look, you are super pretty, and that’s great…good for you…work it for all its worth. I however am largely quite plain, and cannot really do anything about that. I do however take a little solace in the fact that I am here, visiting your country, taking in all the great things about it, but eventually I get to leave and you are stuck here with just your mirror and your gansta boyfriend…so laugh it up Barbie! No skin off my nose!”

So afterward we went back to “M” and “E”’s house, had a few more drinks and then I went home. It was a really good day all-and-all!

OK, so thanks for reading and here’s a few new photos I took Friday with descriptions and explanations.

I’ll write more when I get back from Budapest after next weekend…

Government Ministry Buildings:

OK, I don’t remember exactly what Government Business goes on here, but it is clearly important and the buildings were cool.

Trg Republika

This is the main square in the downtown where some of the major streets come together. You are right in front of the shopping street, next to the Studenski Trg, and right at the intersection of 3 major roads. In front of the statue is where you usually meet up with people to hang out. As in you say to your friends, like “Meet me at 8pm in Trg Repulika.”

Now I have no idea what the actual story with the guy in the statue pointing outward is supposed to be, but he is Knez Mihailova, for whom the shopping street is named, and Knez means like “Prince.” I have no idea what his role in Serbian history is, but I did think it was funny that that bird landed right on his head, and I don’t know what he is pointing at, but I was imaging that it is Kosovo and that he is saying “Yeah, that place is going to cause you guys some major shit storms over the years. You sure it’s worth it?”

Finally I took a close up of the inscription on the statue mostly to show what the local Cyrillic alphabet actually looks like.

overly-simplified regional historical and contemporary political context…in a nutshell

2009-02-22T09:52:00.001-05:00

So for anyone who is not aware, let me give you just a really brief, version of the Kosovo situation…and some regional historical and contemporary cultural context. I am aware that this is somewhat glossing over a lot of stuff and oversimplifying and all of that, so if you are an expert on the region, please bear in mind that I put this together for people who don’t know very much about it, just so they can understand a little bit.

OK…In a nutshell…

So first of all I am assuming you know where Serbia is…But just in case…

First imagine Italy. Now cross the sea going east. Now you are in Croatia. Keep coming east, you go through Bosnia, now think of where Greece is. North of Greece (and of course North of Macedonia), South of Hungary, West of Romania and Bulgaria, East of Croatia and Bosnia. (You can also see where Albania touches the most Southwest tip as well). So, Essentially Serbia is in like the heart of Southeastern Europe.

So there is a region in southern Serbia known as Kosovo. It is a place where, historically, a lot of Serbian Orthodox monasteries are located, and given that the church has always kept Serbian history, language, and culture alive, even when the nation has been under domination, it has an importance to Serbian cultural identity in the present because it is a big part of the past.

Importantly, Kosovo in 1389 is the place that is thought of as having been the beginning of 500 years of Turkish domination. The details and their veracity are debated, as time and literature have clearly changed the story through the years, but in essence, the Turkish Sultan Murad, acting on a tip from a traitorous Serb villain, attacked the Serbs there, and defeated them. However, the night before the attack, the Serbian hero of the story was visited by an angel who told him that even though the Serbs would be dominated by the Turks and would suffer for a long time, this defeat was necessary and would if they held their faith, their suffering over this time would guarantee them a chosen place in heaven. Then, even though the Serbs would be vanquished anyhow, the Serbian hero of the story snuck into the tent of the Sultan Murad and assassinated him before being killed himself.

And so the Serbs would be dominated by the Turks for over 500 years. And this is also why there are Muslims in this region. The Serbs kept their Christian religion, even though it meant persecution. But people who were willing to convert were allowed special treatment by the Turks, and were generally left alone. In this way, a number of people, especially in the part of the region now known as Bosnia, took Islam as their faith. However, given that their culture was largely intertwined with Serbs (Orthodox), Croats (Catholic) and all three peoples in general lived in various stages of togetherness and apartness sharing language, traditions, culture, etc. through the ages, and especially given the largely secular nature of communism under Tito, the Muslims here were far from fanatical, and when the country was Yugoslavia, it was common for holidays of all faiths to be celebrated by everyone.

So, back to the Turkish times…Bosnia was divided between the Turkish dominated part (with Serbia) and a part that followed Croatia. While Croatia was under the “Turkish Yoke” for some of the time, they were dominated later and wriggled free sooner than did Serbia (though only to be dominated shortly thereafter by the Austro-Hungarians). When Kosovo was first conquered by the Turks, many of the Serbs living there fled to the part of the as yet unconquered Croatia, settling around 1389 in the part of Croatia known as Krajina. But the legacy of their exodus from Kosovo still remains a sort of national “wound” in Serbian history.

Now, over 600 years later, these Serbs have lived in Croatia for over 600 years are still considered Serbs – not Croats! This is hard for us to understand because you are “American” as soon as you are born in America, or as soon as you no longer have an accent and you assimilate into our culture. And we have a nation with so many races, and religions and ethnicities. But these two/three virtually indistinguishable groups consider themselves to have fundamentally different and distinct ethnicities. Just as race is a cultural determined phenomenon that creates markers of separation in our culture, it is religion that determines ethnicity in this culture – so that the Serbs who converted in Islam under the Turks are no longer “Serbs,” but the Serbs who have lived in Croatia for 600 years are still “Serbs” because they practice Orthodox Christianity while Croats practice Roman Catholicism.

What makes them retain the ethnic identity of “Serb” or “Croat” regardless of which of the three nations they now live in (Croatia, Bosnia or Serbia) is not the language, as the languages are nearly identical and were officially blended under Tito, nor their appearance, as it is impossible to tell a Serb from a Croat by looking. Neither is it their general cultural temperament, their values, nor their food, drink or hospitality customs. In some cases you may be able to guess based on their name, but this is not always a consistent marker between Croats and Serbs either, but is a little more clear with the Muslims.

What make these people in Krajina who immigrated hundreds of years ago from Serbia, who are so are racially, culturally and linguistically nearly identical to the Croats as to not be distinguishable even to one, another, by sight alone, is the tiny matter, seemingly little more than a “narcissism of minor difference” to an outsider, is religion. Both groups are Christians, and pre-protestant reformation Christians at that, but Serbs are part of the Orthodox tradition and Croats are part of the Catholic tradition. And while both have saints, and advent and Christmas, and Lent and Easter and priests, and icons in the church, and stained glass and stinky incense, and can even receive communion in one another’s church (for which, at least for Catholics, Orthodoxy is the only other faith that can receive Communion in the Catholic church without converting and going through the process of the classes and a ceremony relevant to the sacrament), the peoples of the region choose to obsess over the minute differences between these two faiths as the primary marker of ethnic difference between the two.

So if you are Catholic, you are Croat and vice versa and if you are Serb you are Orthodox and vice versa. It doesn’t matter if your family has lived in Croatia for longer than the US has ever been a country, and that your passport is a Croatian passport which claims that you are a citizen of Croatia. You are not Croatian unless you are Catholic, and no Catholic is a Serb.

So from the outside, when I first started coming to this region, having only had met Greek Orthodox people from this tradition, and in the US at that, when asked one day about my religion, having replied “Catholic, how about you?” To which the Serbian person responded “Orthodox.” And I then in turn responded “Same thing really.” I had quite a shock and a difficult time understanding what I had done to evoke the person’s wrath who proceeded to tell me how the two are WAY different. Not wanting to offend further I kept my mouth shut,, but was really thinking to myself, well to someone who is Muslim or Hindu or of some other non-Christian faith tradition, the two look pretty damn similar!

OK, so without getting into too much crazy historical details, suffice to say that for a thousand years these peoples lived in various stages of peace and harmony as well as stages of conflict. They sometimes worked together and sometimes worked against each other. Each was dominated, sometimes together, sometimes by different rulers.

If you remember your WWI history, you will remember that it was a Serb in Bosnia – in Sarajevo to be exact – Gavorillo Princip – who assassinated Archduke Ferdinand and began WWI. After WWI, with Allied help, the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes was established, with Serbia having a ruling interest because of their war efforts on the side of the Allies. But even though the Kingdom lasted from 1918 – 1941, it was always a somewhat unhappy marriage because the Croats did not like being ruled, and were not really happy in the Kingdom under a Serbian King. There were strains of Croat nationalism emerging, but not all of them were violent or fascist or extremist. However, the small group of Croatian nationalists that would win the day by allying with the Nazis in WWII were violent extremists and were happy to take it out on the Serbs.

So, in comes WWII, as the whole of Europe was attempting, and was one by one largely failing, to fend off the Nazi threat. The Croatian nationalist fascist movement as the Ustase rose up in Croatia, initially independently of the Nazis, but soon with their full support. The Ustase carried out systematic round-ups and executions of the region’s Roma (Gypsy) population at Nazi request, but it was the zeal and vigor with which the Ustase executed Serbs that would shock even the Nazis.

Support for the Ustase by no means permeated every aspect of Croatian society. Many Croats eventually joined the ranks of Tito’s Partisans, who would eventually put an end to Ustase rule and Nazi occupation of the region without direct Allied support and intervention. After forcing the Axis powers out of the region, Tito then established the Federal Socialist Republic of Yugoslavia, which incorporated all 6 of the so called South Slavic nations and peoples into a single nation of 6 equally regarded and equally powerful states. Still, before the Partisan victory, the Ustase would execute a number of Serbs that ranges (according to the account) from 24,000 – 7 million.

Meanwhile, Serbia officially was on the side of the Allies in WWII, but there was still a violent extremist nationalist tendency in Serbia as well – the Chetniks. No less violent than the Ustashe, and no less dogmatic, the Chetniks committed crimes in WWII, there’s no doubt, but the extent and degree was much less, thought not for lack of desire.

After WWII, under the federated Yugoslavia, Tito quickly and quietly dealt harsh punishments to known Ustase criminals, after which the matter was severely downplayed and was erased from public memory. Yet, as I mentioned earlier, the religious leaders of the Serbian church, as self-appointed custodians of Serbian language, history and culture, kept the dual insult of the Ustase assault on Serbs and the forced Yugoslav national amnesia about the events of WWII alive and well and festering like an open wound.

Tito’s Yugoslavia – It would be disingenuous idealized nostalgia to claim that there was no ethnic consciousness from the mid-1940s until Tito’s death in 1980s. However, it is fair to say that in the light of the extreme ethnic violence that would come to pass in the 1990s - or even in relation to the exaggerated ethnic consciousness and division that still exists today - that ethnic tension in most of Yugoslavia - with the exception of Kosovo - was not a common feature of daily life for most people, who mixed socially, professionally and even romantically with people of other ethnic groups. People of all ethnic groups old enough to have spent the majority of their lives in Yugoslavia each speak to a time when all groups’ holidays were celebrated by all, and ethnicity largely made little difference – that is unless you happened to be a person who suffered, personally or through the loss of a loved one, at the hands of the Ustase, or at the hands of the Serbian nationalist Chetniks .

So, back to Kosovo for a second - As borders and peoples do, things shifted around a lot between 1389 the end of WWII, and people who were “ethnically” Albanian came to settle in Kosovo through the years (with a large number coming from Albania to Tito’s Yugoslavia as Albanian Communism was much more closed and oppressive). In the more modern age – the 20th century let’s say - some Serbs returned to Kosovo, and some had remained from earlier times, but by the time Tito united the region after WWII as one nation – Yugoslavia – made up of 6 “states” (Macedonia, Croatia, Montenegro, Slovenia, Bosnia and Serbia) there was a significant enough number of Albanians living in Kosovo so as to constitute a “national minority.”

Given that Serbia had such a large land mass, and that there was both a faction of nationalist Serbs (Chetniks) who wanted Serbia to reign over the others as its own larger nation, and given that Serbs were major victims of the Croatian Ustashe (a wound that could easily have been stoked to induce retributive violence) Tito worried that Serbia would be hard to control and might dominate. So, while he put the seat of government in the Serbian capital, Belgrade, he also divided Serbia’s influence by deeming there to be 2 autonomous provinces in Serbia where the national minorities made up a significant segment of the population – Vojvodina in the north (with a large Hungarian minority) and Kosovo in the south.

So under Tito, Yugoslavia was a pretty prosperous system, far from perfect, but pretty good all-and-all. In refusing to align himself with either the Soviet communists or the West, Tito carved out a niche for the nation as a non-aligned nation, whose location and somewhat more open, more benevolent socialist system made it both a place of great strategic importance to both sides as well as more approachable and acceptable to the West. Because of this, the nation flourished economically, and the people enjoyed freedom of travel more broad and open than anyone else in the world at the time.

Still, even with the general peace among the regions groups that Tito strictly enforced by downplaying a lot of historical issues and stressing that, above all else, the peoples of the region are united as Yugoslavs first, and only then as ethnic groups, and the prosperity the nation enjoyed during the Tito years, there was still sporadic trouble in Kosovo as Albanians often agitated for greater rights and privileges. Meanwhile, this area was the most economically destitute in the whole Yugoslavia (the UN guys I’ve talked with who have been stationed there throughout the last 10 years actually have used the word “shithole”) and with no opportunities and increasing tensions between the Serbs and Albanians there, Serbian people who could afford to leave often did so, moving instead to places in Serbia and Yugoslavia at large where there was more opportunity for them.

Now…fast forward a bit to 1980 – Tito dies with no successor. The system of government he left as his legacy (a rotational presidency that would move among each of the republics) was weak at best and as the Soviet Union weakened and the Berlin wall came down, Yugoslavia was no longer of strategic importance and a lot of the wealth it had enjoyed dried up. In this environment, when political and economic instability met with political greed, ambition and opportunism it was a recipe for disaster.

The Albanians in Kosovo were growing more numerous and more vocal. The Serbs there were feeling threatened, and given Kosovo’s national historical significance to Serbs, it became a convenient and useful political cause to the aspirations of Slobodan Milosevic. Tensions between Serbs and Albanians in Kosovo had escalated to the point of occasional violence against one another, but these were exaggerated and sensationalized in the press of both sides. Milosevic seized on this atmosphere to rally Serb nationalism and present himself as the answer to this impending Albanian “threat” to the Serb nation. By 1989 Milosevic became Serbia’s leader, giving his most famous national address on the 600th anniversary of the Battle of Kosovo. It appeared inevitable that there would be a war for Kosovo.

However, as Serbian nationalism grew, and feeding one another, Croatian nationalism grew alongside it, the other republics started to fear for their borders and their people with the large shadow Milosevic’s Serbia was casting. In 1990, Slovenia declared independence from Yugoslavia. Encouraged by the war for Slovenia, which lasted just a few weeks, Croatia then declared its independence in 1991, but with a significant number of Serbs living in Croatia’s Krajina region, and reports of atrocities being committed against them, Milosevic was not so quick to let Croatia go, and so the stage was set for the first major theatre of war.

When Bosnia declared its independence in 1992, it became clear that Kosovo would have to wait. The three sides fought, with Croatia and Serbia each trying to take large bites of Bosnia while also fighting each other. By the time the wars officially ended in 1995, each side had committed war crimes, with the Serbs and Croats having committed the lion’s share. Hundreds of thousands of civilians on all sides were brutally tortured, raped, driven from their homes and executed.

In Croatia, a strongly Catholic country, where there have long been many European tourists who feel connected to the beauty of the region, and who has had a more well defined tradition of relations with western Europe (having been under Austro-Hungarian instead of Turkish rule, and as such having grown-up a bit more “European” in the appearance of the cities and the sympathies of the people) there has been a lot of foreign investment and aid designed to repair the physical damage from the war, which not waged nearly as long there as in Bosnia besides. As a result, where there are certainly still visible wounds of war on the landscape, particularly in areas less widely visited by tourists as well as in areas that are inhabited by Croatian Serbs. Still, with some exceptions, and the lingering problem of potential landmines littering some of the most beautiful nature cites in the country, Croatia seems to have fared relatively well in the sense of physical repair. The condition of repair of the Croatian social fabric is somewhat more dubious.

Bosnia, however was not as lucky. Still in a somewhat uneasy peace and existing as two separate states within one nation, the physical, emotional, and social scars of war still mar the landscape.

As the dust settled, it was not too long before the Kosovo crisis would come up in Serbia again. Serbian nationalist politicians needed a cause to stay relevant, and the intervening years had allowed the Kosovar Albanians to form become much better organized militia units. The two sides agitated and occasionally attacked each other between 1996 – 1998, and the media on both sides picked up the same sensational reporting as it had employed previously.

Things intensified in 1998 & 1999, and the international media started reporting (perhaps somewhat one-sidedly) that the Serbs were using the same “ethnic cleansing” strategies as they had used in Bosnia. By this time the worst atrocities of the Bosnian and Croatian wars were coming to light and Western nations (and specifically President Clinton and the US) were dealing with enormous guilt over not having intervened more forcefully and effectively in Bosnia. As images of fleeing civilians streamed into Western living rooms, with Bosnian atrocities fresh in the minds of people and politicians, Clinton convinced NATO to support and engage in airstrikes on Serbia.

From March – June 1999, NATO waged a well intentioned, but sloppily carried out air war against the Serbs, resulting in many mistakes, and more Serbian civilian causalities than had been foreseen or intended. The air strikes did result in Serbia pulling out of Kosovo and the UN being granted transitional authority. Kosovo would remain part of Serbia, though contested and still somewhat autonomous. Still, most remaining Serbs now left their Kosovo homes.

The impression held by many Serbian people after this, even those who had been opposed to Milosevic and the wars to begin with, was that the world was unfairly singling out Serbs for blame and punishment. Animosity over the mistakes and causalities from the NATO bombings were an intense national wound – one that still festers today. For some, the idea that a foreign power would come in and try to force Serbia to give up this part of their nation that had been a part of their national heritage and history for centuries seemed ludicrous. “By what right?” they wondered, as they felt that the Albanians had run them out of their own national historical birthright and that this was then supported and enforced by NATO.

Other, more moderate Serbian voices did not agree with Milosevic nor with his strategies, but agreed even less with NATO’s bombing of Serbian civilians, and hence were still filled with animosity toward NATO, the UN and specifically toward the US and President Clinton.

When all was said and done, war profiteers (mafia) made huge business in all the countries during the war, and these gangsters are still a huge problem in Serbia (as well as a residual problem in the other nations). Additionally, both Tudjman in Croatia and Milosevic in Serbia actually appropriated millions of dollars of the people’s money from the banks. In Serbia this has led to many people living in utter destitution.

When the human, material and financial cost of the war, came into the people’s consciousness, coupled with Serbia’s international pariah status that continued under Milosevic’s continued rule and his obvious criminal activity at the expense of the people, Milosevic had lost most of his support. In 2000 he lost the election, but refused at first to cede power, leading to a popular revolt which eventually resulted in reform leader Zoran Dzindzic being elected as the Serbian president. Dzindzic would turn Milosevic over the The Hague for trial in 2001. But in 2003, Dzindzic was assassinated by Serbian Radical Nationalists, and Milosevic died during the last stages of his trial in 2006, before he could actually be convicted.

Kosovo remained under clumsy and somewhat unstable UN control until February 17th, 2008, when Kosovo declared its independence as a sovereign and democratic nation. By this time, just 10% of the remaining population was Serbian. The EU, UN and USA all recognized Kosovo’s independence, and while many Serbian people have grown tired of conflict and are just as happy to see the Kosovo issue over and done with, there are still many who were violently angry, and the protests ensued that day that then turned into riots throughout Belgrade. The US embassy was set on fire, and one protester died. Even many of those Serbs who have grown weary of conflict and are just ready to put an end to strife in the region are still resentful of the ways in which the EU, UN & USA have muscled the people and nation of Serbia.

Life's lessons that Weather has Taught...

2009-02-22T04:01:00.003-05:00

OK…well…another week of exciting adventures in Belgrade!! But before I write a post about the week, there is something I want to share that I think deserves its own post – THE WEATHER! (This should not surprise those who are aware of my bizarre semi-secret obsession with the weather).

Since the last time I wrote – like 10 days ago – it has been snowing pretty much constantly. It will stop for a day or so, the sidewalks will clear up, and then it just snows like mad again! It’s fine, because it’s not really that cold, it hovers around freezing, a few degrees above and a few degrees below – so compared to Michigan or Cleveland (where combined I have spent over ½ my life) it is really not so bad. And while there is easily a couple feet of snow, (at least) this is still not as miserable as winters growing up in the Great Lakes Region. The only hassle really is that I have to walk everywhere, which I usually LOVE, but when the sidewalk is icy and I am wet and my work clothes are dirty before I even get to work…I can sometimes feel a little frustrated.

Though again, I have to say, I have a visceral memory of walking to class in Michigan, with snow waist high and air so cold that your snot would freeze inside your nose when you breath. And that much snow leaves HUGE puddles on the road, so I also remember cars speeding through intersections and super-soaking us on the way to or from classes on more than one occasion! (At least the drivers here, while wild and unpredictable in every other sense, seem to slow down in consideration of the walkers they pass when there is a lot of wet snow. Perhaps because they too walk most of the time?)

I also remember so many Michigan winters as a pizza delivery driver – wearing long johns under my clothes on top and bottom, and full winter gear, with gloves missing the fingertips so I could count money…I remember feeling that bone chilling cold that gets even worse once you are wet, both from the snow that sticks to you and melts as you go in and out, and from the sweat that gathers while you are inside, from all the layers of clothes, and makes you feel like you will never be warm again. (I remember sticking my hands inside the convection oven, where the pizzas cooked, to thaw them between runs!)

I am not exaggerating when I say that the physical sensations of being so unbearably, painfully cold during those Great Lakes winters in Michigan are the most distinct, sharp, physical memories I have. Usually when you think about a time you were in pain or were uncomfortable, you recall that you were uncomfortable, but you cannot recall the actual physical feeling – [someone told me once that is a defense mechanism that your brain uses to protect you from the physical recollection of trauma, and I assume what makes people able give birth multiple times.] Anyhow, I have tons of great memories from all different times in my life, but as far as a physical memory, one in which I can still recall and reconstruct the actual physical sensation, I can recall the physical discomfort of Michigan winter – from delivering pizza, to walking to class, to living in an apartment with broken heat in a sub-zero February.

During that time, when I was delivering pizzas to pay for college (maybe 4 years? Maybe more in total), I was the only female delivery driver. Over that time period I was held-up and robbed (of my cash and the pizzas) three different times – once with a knife, once with a broken bottle and once with a gun. Yet, even more than being held-up, of which I remember things about the events, but don’t really remember the fear or trauma, what I really remember about that job is the winter COLD!

(As a significant – non-cold/non-trauma based memory - I also remember that a couple times a month, at the end of the night [3am by the time we were done], a few of the guys and I would drive over the border to Windsor, Ontario (Canada) – like 20 minutes away - and take our tip money to the casino. Afterward, before going home, we would raid the HUGE Canadian recycle bins behind the casino because Michigan has a “bottle return” recycling program, where you get 10cents for each bottle and can. Filling the trunk to capacity, we’d then bring them to the automated return centers back in Michigan and make between $100 - $200 each trip!)

The only other one of those really intense physical memories I have is also associated with cold. When I was 18, after 3 terms of what should’ve been a 4 term academic year of my 1st year at Ohio State, I was “too cool for school” and considered dropping out. I was recruited from some representatives on campus, and got a summer job at Cedar Point Amusement Park (which is in north-central Ohio between Toledo & Cleveland on Lake Erie, and which boasts the most roller coasters of any park in the US!). Overall it was a really fun summer job, with college students from all over the country working there. You lived in dorms on the grounds, and had full run of the park on your days off (The whole culture of working at that place was a whole crazy world I may write about some other time).

However, those of us that came early, before the season began, arrived at the park, in March to start clean-up. It was still icy cold and we worked outside in a light misty freezing rain for 10 hours a day. By mid-day everything was too wet to insulate you anymore and by the end of the day my fingers were white and my toes were numb. I remember feeling as if I would lose fingers and toes.

I also remember that experience teaching me a few things…

Even though the hard, cold, wet part of the job was over in 3 – 4 weeks, working so hard outside in the wet and cold, 6 - 7 days a week, 10 – 12 hours a day, was challenging. I gained a great sense of appreciation and sympathy for my dad who had worked outside 6 - 7 days a week, 10 – 12 hours a day, for my whole life, and never complained or called in sick.

In addition to a new adult respect for my father, I also realized at that point that I would NEVER want to be in a position that I would have to work outside for a living. I took my time about getting back to school in a serious way, intermittently following the Grateful Dead (another potential post to write another day!), working at a greasy chicken-wing restaurant, managing a Pizza Hut and taking classes sporadically for the next 2 years – first back at Ohio State and then at Community college after moving back to Cleveland with my family.

Although through my first stinging outdoor lesson in manual labor at Cedar Point, and the equally challenging lessons I learned in food-service, I acquired a strong work ethic and a healthy respect both for people who labor and people who serve for a living, my youthful delusions of “too cool for school” quickly faded. I went to Michigan to visit a friend whom I had known from Cedar Point and from Dead tour, and after a week with her and the “college life,” I went home to Cleveland, packed my things, and moved to Michigan to work for the summer, apply for school again and sign-up for Fall classes.

Though I worked full time for most of my undergrad education, once I was back in the haven of college, there was no looking back. I mean seriously… I was not only the first in my family to graduate from college, I actually just sort of went back when I was 20 years old, and then never left. After my undergrad degree I stayed in school for 7 more years for grad school, moving to Georgia for the last 5 of those years to finish my graduate work. If I know just two things about myself it is 1) I HATE cold and 2) I love to learn.

Well, anyhow, to get back to the point of this post, suffice to say, that it was the Great Lakes region’s snot-freezing cold, the mountainous snow, the unending winter (that seemed to go from Halloween through Memorial Day) that made me swear, once I moved to Georgia, that I’d never return to a cold climate.

And yet somehow, in the US, once again I live in a cold part of the country – Phillie - and in the larger world, my favorite place to live – Holland - is actually one of the windiest, rainiest places I’ve ever been…though the temps are not that terrible (a week or so of unbearable, and then hovering near freezing for the rest of the winter) and with a leather jacket to block the wind, I was still able to ride my bike everywhere nearly every day (my MOST favorite part of living in Holland – bike culture for everyone regardless of age and massive bike lanes throughout the whole country – urban and rural alike).

[Summer in Holland is a bit strange. I LOVE it that it stays light until 11pm (though that makes for a DARK winter) but the temps never really get warm…the hottest of the hot is like 70 F degrees, and yet Dutch people (who I think are part Polar Bear) still swim in the North Sea!)

One really great lesson I learned living in Holland - I had moved there in the week between xmas and NYE, and it was some kind of ridiculous cold snap. It doesn't usually get that cold in Holland, but like I had mentioned, the place is famous for generally crap weather most of the time - it is WINDY (hence the windmills) and it rains nearly every day for at least a little while. So after I'd lived there a few weeks and had met a Dutch friend to go out with in the evenings, she phoned one evening and asked if I wanted to go to a party with her at a club.

"Oh..." I said "I don't know...I mean the weather is so awful! Maybe we should wait for another time."

"Another time!" She said almost in disbelief. "But c'mon, this is Holland! If you wait for nice weather you will never go out!" [I phrase I heard repeated by many Dutch people after that day]

"C'mon." she said "Grab an umbrella, put on your coat."

After that day I realized that is exactly how Dutch people seem to look at it. Yes, of course it is nice when the weather is nice, but that cannot be counted on, not on any given day, so just expect it. While this is probably not true of every single Dutch person, and it is kind of an exagerated stereotype, it's not entirely untrue that - by-and-large - regardless of weather, many Dutch people of all ages are on their bikes, an umbrella in one hand, the mobile phone in the other, pedalling down the street to wherever their destination! Women will wear their fashionable clothes and cute skirts rain-or-shine.

And hence in Holland, I learned 1) Except in most extreme cases, that weather is not an excuse to NOT do something, and ; 2) Biking is quite possibly the most enjoyable form of daily transport I can even imagine! And if I could live somewhere in the US with that kind of bike culture I would give up my car and move there in a minute!

OK, so pardon the digression...I was talking about Holland vs. Phillie in relation to weather...

So...while these places are cold, and do certainly have a winter season (as opposed to a winter month in Georgia), nothing is like the mid-West, Great Lakes winter!!

In Phillie (and the surrounding area) they close down for the same minute amount of snow and/or ice that made me giggle in amazement at the stand-still everything would come to when there was even the threat of snow in Georgia! (We mid-West Great Lakes folk are of hearty stock! – As example, recall: Obama mocking the DC school closing with an inch of snow).

The same strange phenomenon of people rushing to the store to buy out every bit of stock of milk and bread that had me in confused stitches in Georgia is only marginally less intense in Phillie – as if the roads will somehow be impassible for weeks and no milk or bread will be available for an indefinite period! [And yet I don’t remember my university in Michigan being closed even a single time (and once it was windchill of -40 degrees Fahrenheit!).] And while Phillie will have the occasional brutally cold snap – I would say totaling 3 weeks of the year with temps below 20 F and maybe 7 – 10 of those in the single digits or below. So all-in-all, while I would prefer to live either back in the south, or in California, if I MUST live in the cold, Phillie is not so bad.

OK…so all of that to say…Belgrade is sort of like a blend of all of these places…

Like Georgia, you can easily have weeks at a time in the dead of winter when you barely need a jacket! A few weeks ago we had a whole week of light jacket super sunshine!

Like the Great Lakes mid-West, stuff here does not close for weather! But, even though there is a lot of snow, it has not been brutally cold. Dress warm, wear boots, hat, scarf, gloves and warm coat and you will be fine.

During my first winter In Georgia, there was – as is usual one or two days during the winter - an ice-storm. I called my landlord and asked him to come “salt the walk,” and he seemed totally confused. He showed up about an hour later with a shaker of table salt and asked me to explain again what he should do with it. During that same storm, upon realizing I was caught out without a snowbrush/ice-scraper, I asked in the drug-store if they knew where I could buy a “snowbrush.” They asked me 3 times to repeat what I was asking for, calling over other employees, and still they didn’t know what I was talking about. (Incidentally, these days not only led to school closings, but to EVERYTHING in town closing – banks, stores, everything but gas stations!)

So while in Serbia there seems to be no concept of closing for inclement weather, they also seem to be equally blissfully unaware of advancements in snow removal beyond the shovel, as I have yet to see a single plow, nor have I seen road or sidewalk salt. I have no idea how the snow gets off the road here. It seems that people just drive on it, it gets packed down, and then as it warms up to those few degrees above freezing during the day, it largely goes away on the road.

But the sidewalks are a different story… On the sidewalk the snow gets impacted to that it is a relatively smooth-ish walking surface, and during the day it is soft enough that you have traction in snow boots (though still many women are wearing ridiculous heels…). But in the evening it all turns treacherous as the top layer that was soft in the daytime becomes shiny and slick with ice.

This problem is doubly compacted on the “walking street,” where all the fancy shops are located in the center of town, b/c the surface of that road is a sort of smooth marble-looking stone that, even with rain, is super slick, but which becomes a little like an ice-rink in the snow. However, the shopping street was only a problem on the days it was actually snowing, as there are city workers shoveling there, in addition to small snow sweeping machines (length of a snowmobile, height of a zamboni [ice-smoothing machine you see at hockey games in the US], with 2 round sweeping mechanisms underneath) that sweep it all off to the side.

The other small problem I have had with the snow here is somewhat more bizarre, and probably has something to do with my own spacey-personality, spotty sense of direction, and visual learning style…

So after being here for 6 weeks now, I know how to get to both of my jobs, and I know how to get to most places I need to go. If I am uncertain, I study the map before I go, and I now know enough of the major landmarks that I can easily orient from them. If a place is brand new, and in a totally unfamiliar part of town, and I have to be there at a specific time, I will take a taxi to get there the first time…so I am not late and I know where I need to go. But as I am leaving I will walk or take the tram/bus, and then I will be able to find it again the next time.

However, I guess the fact that I am a visual learner has been reinforced because once the snow came so heavy and thick, everything looked different, and it presented a few problems with my orientation.

So, last Wednesday when I was on my way to the Women in Black office for work, the snow was coming down as thick and heavy as a raining downpour. It had been doing this the whole day Tuesday, through the night, and all day and night on Wednesday. So when, around 11am on Wednesday I left to walk the 20 minutes to work, it had been snowing like this for about 24 hours and even the sweeping machines could not keep the shopping street clear (which is how I learned how slippery it is…but thank goodness it was not me who fell this time, but some 6 ft. bleach blond glamazon in high heels!).

I left myself 10 extra minutes because of the weather, and started off. Up my street, across the big intersection, up the big hill, past the student square, unto the shopping street, down a few blocks, through a narrow street, then….wait…what now…

I look up to see if I’m in the right spot, but everything looks so different covered in snow…I suddenly feel totally lost! I walk a while in what I think is the right direction…wait…no…nothing looks familiar…DAMN!

Now I am late…and my feet are starting to get cold…God it is really coming down out here…oh now here is the little park I usually come to…but wait….it looks different…am I coming at it from a different direction? Damn! I better turn around, I think I am going the wrong way…

Hey…I think that’s like the 2nd time I’ve passed that grocery store…God my hair is getting so wet! The Serbs at work are going to think I will die for sure…they are so weird about the wet hair thing…ok…I think I am going the right way now…yeah…this looks familiar…good things starting to look familiar…

…HEY…wait a second…How did I get back on the shopping street again!!! Shit! No wonder it looked familiar! I was just here like 10 minutes ago! I am sooo late now!!! And soooo wet!!! The snow is sticking to my eyelashes….I am getting tired of slipping…I know I am going to fall on my ass and….OK…just be calm…step under the awning and look at your map…

…CRAP! How could I have forgotten to put the map in my bag!!! Now I will never find it! I will die out here in the snow and no one will find me until April when the wild dogs have eaten ½ of my face…and speaking of the wild dogs…how do they survive in this weather…FOCUS!...

OK…c’mon…you have this under control…WHYY DOES EVERYTHING LOOK SO UNFAMILIAR! I feel like old people you see on TV who wander away from home and forget where they came from

…OK…here’s what you’re going to do, commit to a direction, walk in that direction, and you WILL come to recognize stuff. It is not all new for goodness sake, it’s just snow!

All right, so this way…OK I got a good feeling about this…hey wait….is that the same grocery store again?!? Either I am totally crazy or I have somehow passed the same store 3 times! It’s like I am on one of those gag TV shows!...crap…trust myself or doubt myself…well either way keep walking or you’ll freeze to death….

…Oh…hey…what’s this? OH MY GAWD! This is the big street I cross right before the bus station that leads me to the stairs that take me to the street with the three porno-huts across the street from where I work!!! …. Got to remember to ask the women at work what they think about running a feminist organization next to the porno huts…

OK, don’t get too excited, you still have to make it down all those stairs and an icy hill without falling before you are home free…carefully…carefully…focus…

Oh my god, I am so close now…oh wait which door is it again? This one…no that one…oh right its this other one…OK!!! I made it!!! Phew!

So with a little getting lost I eventually made it to work. The leader was not even there, which was fine with me since I was late anyway, and my work for this place is largely independent, so while I wished a little that I was home and dry, as I spent the rest of the day in the freezing office with wet hair, feet and pants, I was at the same time so proud to have made it there finally, and glad to be there working on the project I was doing for them (helping to transcribe some really amazing women’s issues documentaries from around the world so that they can be subtitled in Serbian and shown to women all over the region).

OK, well I guess I will close this entry by sharing what I have liked best about the snowy weather here. It is threefold…

1st – I have made a decision to get as much focused writing done as possible while it is the poor weather. This has meant that any day I do not have to go to one of my jobs, I work on my writing and research from the time I get up until the time I go to bed. The fact that I don’t know many people here makes this easier and I feel super productive.

2nd – It is snowy, but not that cold! So you can generally go about your business with just a little extra care.

3rd – The snow makes everything look really pretty!!! It is light and fluffy and covering all the trees and muddy patches where grass should be, and even the ugly buildings in my neighborhood. It makes it all feel so cozy!!

OK, so thanks for reading! Hope it was entertaining for you. I will try to make one more post about the actual adventures I had in the last week, and will write again next week when I get back from next weekend in Budapest!

graffiti - Political Ruminations

2009-02-22T00:16:00.006-05:00

So I have decided that I need to dedicate an entry to graffiti. Now graffiti is pretty much a regular feature of most urban landscapes. I don’t remember seeing much in Toronto nor in Vancouver, and I have heard that Tokyo is incredibly clean, so there may not be any there either…but as a general rule of thumb, graffiti is a part of a city’s backdrop, though in varying forms.

In general – and I am not an expert -the most common forms of graffiti across the board seems to be “tagging” and the more general passionate statement – like “Bowie ROCKS!” Or “I LOVE LINDA!” Or even slander like “Keri is a Slut!” You also have as a common variety the names of sports teams – either on their own or with accompanying praise or loathing. [A comedian named Dmitri Martin talks about graffiti in one of his acts – he jokes about how graffiti is always the outpouring of an intense feeling, like “U2 RULZ!” or “I LOVE Kelly!” He ponders why there is no luke warm graffiti – like “I like Marcy as a friend” or “White Stripes are OK, but not really the best band out there.”]

In some places you have more political graffiti, and there have been historical moments, in our country and in others, when political graffiti was read as a sort of “voice of the people” – coming in unsanctioned ways, and often countering the “powers that be” in some way. From my experience, socially conscious or politically active graffiti seems to take the form of either impactful statements or images…and here is where the artistry of graffiti begins!

Now it seems to me that there is a lot you can tell about a place by the form and content of its graffiti. In Phillie, there is a fine line between graffiti and public/vernacular art, with tags and scrawling but also with many murals, etc., many of which speak to the racial struggles of the city’s past and the cultural diversity of its present.

A step up from this is the graffiti I have seen in Berlin (to which I have not been for quite a while, but from what I remember…). In Berlin there is, of course, regular graffiti, but I remember really enjoying seeing the remaining pieces and photos of the Berlin wall with so much really moving graffiti and vernacular art. Graffiti is so much a part of the landscape in Berlin that a WWII/anti-Fascist memorial that was built there about 10 years ago was intentionally constructed in such a way and placed in such a space so that the public’s range of feelings and debate over the monument’s meaning would take place through the graffiti that the artists anticipated people would layer upon the monument.

In Amsterdam the graffiti is rampant, and seems to take the more common “tagging” form…but I don’t remember much in the way of inflammatory or political statement. Paris seems to have a combination of activist and more personally general graffiti. In Spain I remember seeing a significant amount of Basque separatist graffiti. In Central and South America, Communist/Socialist graffiti and murals were an important part of the vernacular nature of those emerging movements. And on-and-on… in cities all over the world.

So…here in Belgrade, you also have your share of graffiti. There is some amount of proliferation of creepy nationalist symbols (like the cross with the “4 S’s” which means “only unity saves the Serbs” – a nationalist rallying cry that I will explain further in another entry) as well as names of bands (“Pearl Jam” – 90s bands seem to still be quite popular), sports teams (“Red Star” – one of 2 local professional soccer teams, the other being “Partisans”) and what appears to be either some kind of gang, or perhaps a favorite night club (“Alcatraz”)…not certain.

You then have a few more interesting layers or graffiti…

On the one hand, there is strong political feeling expressed through some graffiti - a lot of stuff about Kosovo, an occasional anti-Bush, or anti-US, or anti-NATO slogan, and various things, positive and negative, about local political parties and politicians.

Now given that most everything is in Cyrillic script, I have gotten used to just sort of spacing out and not paying much attention to the signs and writing. But I have decided to commit to learning Cyrillic so that I can improve my language skills faster, so this week I have been paying better attention (and have been speaking a lot more Serbian…but that is a story for another entry).

So…as I was making my way to the grocery store this week one afternoon, I was trying to read everything I saw…signs and graffiti…whether in Latin or Cyrillic. My favorite piece of graffiti that I saw this week said “Boris Tadic je lep covek, jebo bih ga…” which, if I am translating both the words and the sentiment properly, means “Boris Tadic [the Serbian president] is a good looking guy, I’d fuck him…” When I saw this piece of graffiti, in Latin script, I walked by it for a minute, when it dawned on me what it said. It struck me as so funny, both because of what it said, and because I understood it, that I turned around and went back up the block to be sure what I saw. I then had to photograph it.

Graffiti reading "Boris Tadic is a good looking guy - I'd fuck him..."

But, while that one was the original impetus for my writing an entry on graffiti, it is far from the most moving graffiti I have seen here…

There is a place in the center of Belgrade called “Studenski Trg” or “Students’ Square.” In this several block radius, I have lately become aware of all the sort of organized chaos of messages which appear - I can only guess - to have developed from student actions for social change. [Students here seem to generally take as a part of their college years a commitment to collective organizing for social awareness and change.]

So… The first strand of this graffiti looks as if it was done with stencils (b/c it is largely uniform in shape and size), and has black lettering. I gather it was done to show support for and encourage collective student organization. The main message of these is “Students for students” and “together we are stronger.” A nice, solidarity message, neatly written, and more cooperative than agitational. [will get a photo next time I walk by]

There is a second strand of Studenki Trg graffiti that appears more confrontational – more geared toward raising consciousness. The messages in this thread are done in either red or black, and they are apparently a response to what the authors regard as an outdated, hierarchical higher-education system. Here you have “Knowledge is for everyone,” “Knowledge is not a material commodity,” and my personal favorite “I know he wears no clothes,” – which I assume is a clever use of the Emperor Wears no Clothes in reference to the importance of critical thought, and more importantly, to make a statement about the authoritarian system of leaning here, wherein the professor is the unquestioned authority. I like these ones very much, and given their cleverness, they are likely effective with students. [will get photos next time I am near there]

When I started to attend to these messages, I was excited by the fact that there are these kinds of student groups here, and that they are seizing public space in this way! Still…while I do like these very much, they are still not my favorite…

There is yet another thread of graffiti that I have seen pretty much all over the city, radiating out from the Studenski Trg. When I realized what these messages were saying, and the fact that there is obviously many individuals who participated in this graffiti, based on how wide-spread it is and the uniqueness of each one, I got a little choked up…I actually get a little teary when I see it…especially when I discover new ones with messages I have not seen before.

So this one is also a stencil, but with different font than the others, and it is also in black. Each one is different, though some repeat. They all begin with the black stenciled words “U 2009 Zelim…” or “In 2009 I wish for…” (Or “I would most like…”). Then there are statements written after this – some in the same stencil, some in scrawl, some in other fonts, etc. And they say things like “In 2009 I wish for…world peace.” Or “In 2009 I wish for…more money in this country!” Or “In 2009 I wish for…no one in my country to be a refugee.” Or “In 2009 I wish for…no hunger.” [will get photos of these as well...]

And the one that brings me to tears…every time…“In 2009 I wish … to live in a country that I don’t want to leave.” This is not suggesting that the writer wishes to leave Serbia for somewhere “better,” but instead is suggesting that the writer wishes for this country to be a place where the young people want to stay. There is a “brain drain” here, like in so many other economically less-developed countries, which means that those young people who are, bright, talented, ambitious and who have big dreams seek opportunities go abroad for school and/or for work as soon as they are able.

People’s parents also want this for them, especially now, because many of the parents of these young Serbian high school and college students are of a generation who remembers growing up in Yugoslavia, when times were richer and more hopeful and whose own lives and dreams were disrupted in the 1990s when dreams of a future career, stable life and economic prosperity were frozen in time for more than a decade.

As the social, cultural, governing and economic systems they grew up with collapsed, their dreams and plans for the future were subsumed in the ruins - immediately usurped by the direct cost of war (military service was by mandatory conscription in Yugoslavia so some guys were mandated to go to war, while people were victims of violence), by an suddenly unstable political and economic climate (some lost their life savings almost overnight as Yugoslavia collapsed and inflation raged, and what was left in the banks was robbed by corrupt politicians), by family obligations (as there was no longer a social state to care for people), and most significantly, by the sudden need to worry daily, constantly, about survival – safety, heat, clean water, hunger.

As my landlord, who left the university in Belgrade during this time, told me, “There was no more thought about the future, no more living, suddenly we were just surviving and this is what consumed all your thoughts...”

It reminds me of “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs,” which uses the visual metaphor of a pyramid to note the ways in which we rank and fill our basic human needs. At the bottom of the pyramid, you have things like food, shelter, etc. Then you have safety. Then you have belonging – being a part of a family or close “kinship” group. Then higher socializing type needs, and finally at the top, but the smallest bit, you have wants, desires, aspirations – general fulfillment. You cannot work for the next level up if the lower level is not stably fulfilled. So it you don’t have food and shelter, you cannot concern yourself with bigger safety needs. If you do not have safety, you can’t worry about socializing with friends, and especially not about working for some kind of larger future goals of personal fulfillment.

So by the time things stabilized, more than a decade had passed, and this generation was no longer of the age or innocence for dreams. Besides, there was no longer money or investment in the country, and largely even if one had held on to those dreams one had prior to this point, they were no longer viable. And so these many of these parents have a dream now for their children. Most often this involves getting them 1st – out of the village and into the city, and then out of the country and working abroad where this younger generation can taste some of the possibility, and cosmopolitanism and hope and zest for life that their parents had seen vanish in front of them.

So that’s what makes my heart ache a little about that graffiti, “In 2009 I wish … to live in a country that I don’t want to leave.” It reminds me that the people here went from living, like us in the US, in such a way that the lower pyramid needs were taken for granted, and many people’s lives were consumed by higher social status needs and personal fulfillment needs. Then – in an instant –these “top of the pyramid” needs were no longer a relevant pursuit as suddenly safety, hunger, shelter, water…the basic human needs were thrust to the forefront of most people’s existence. There is a lot about being here – in Serbia specifically - that reminds me of stories of the “Great Depression,” but many people who live in this country remember a time, not that long ago, when there was wealth, promise, peace and a greater freedom of travel than was enjoyed by any other nation’s people in the world at the time [as a result of Yugoslavia’s conscious and strategic “non-alignment” with neither the West nor the Soviet bloc – more about this in another post].

I think a lot about the way different generations experienced the region’s 1990s conflicts– whether I am here in Serbia or in Bosnia or in Croatia – because I often hear similar stories from people in their 30s and 40s. And this can happen to any of us, at any time…the rug can be pulled out from under us! (I mean something very similar happened to many regular people living in Bahgdad a few years ago…)

On another level, the “In 2009 I wish … to live in a country that I don’t want to leave” message makes me sad because the message suggests both that the writer loves her country, and yet that she knows she will have to leave if she is to achieve her potential. The content of the message, in the context of the last 15 – 20 years in this region, suggests to me that the writer is cognizant of the things that need to change, and yet her words suggest a sense of frustration and powerlessness.

So what this all leads me to think is that, while it is nowhere near the same political situation or level of intensity, I realized as I was thinking all of this through in the past few days, that nearly a decade ago, when Clinton was in his last term and the possibility of a W. Bush presidency was first on the wind, a friend in Budapest joked with me that “W.” would be the next president. I believe I said both “No Way! That’ll NEVER happen!” and maybe something like “anyway, how bad could he be? Even if he wins, he’s out in 4 years like his father.”

Then came the Bush/Gore-Florida-Supreme Court election drama, then came 9/11, then came the vicious silencing of dissent, then there emerged a sort of black-and-white, with-us-or-against-us cultural attitude - nationalism disguised as patriotic duty and moral superiority - reinforced by the triumvirate of FOXNews, the rapid politicization of Christianity, and terrifyingly nationalist country music.

Along with this came a new ferocious racism, then the wars, and the normalization of dehumanization and violence reached its zenith with Guantanamo Bay and Abu Gharib.

Then came the contempt and wrath of most other world nations. And even after all of this, “W” was elected again!

And then there was the mess that was the aftermath of Katrina, and the state and federal governments’ complete mishandling of the situation, and finally the crumbling of the financial markets and what could potentially be economic ruin the likes of which could change the social, cultural and economic landscape of our nation for ever.

Now don’t mistake me here, I am not trying to imply it is all “W”’s fault. He is only one man, and seems largely to have been chosen by his party’s leaders b/c he is easily a “company man” – I see him as like the tip of the iceberg – the part you see, which may look frightening, but much larger and more dangerous part is there below the surface.

Further, any person in the White House at that time would have had a lot on their plate - the terrorist attacks, hurricane Katrina, those things would have happened on anyone’s watch to be sure. AND... while there is no doubt that his handling of these traumatic events exacerbated the nation’s problems, and there is no doubt in my mind that there were much more insidious minds behind the choices – rhetorical and material – that “W” made, the American public needs to take a share of the blame here as well. This guy was elected! At least once, and for all intents and purposes, TWICE!

“W” in-and-of himself is less like some evil genius that tricked the public and more accurately the pinnacle of the ethnocentric, uncritical, willfully globally unaware, non-politically participatory, indolent, consumerist culture that we as a people had allowed to build up around us (since at least the late 1970s or early 1980s as far as I can tell). Democracy only functions when people participate in an active an informed way!

Still, in the decade since I glibly disregarded my friend’s teasing, my political innocence has totally disintegrated. There have been many times, given what I study, when the parallels between the political discourses, in conjunction with the sensational and inflammatory ethnocentric media, and the supporting pop-culture threads in the US in the last decade have reminded me so much of the crisis regions that I study.

While I realize this is an oversimplification… Like the US, Yugoslavia was a prosperous nation. Like Bush, Milosevic, initially, was a popular leader who claimed to be acting on the will and in the best interest of protecting the Serbian people, and with his rise to power came the corresponding flattery from state sympathetic media (which then curbed the critical journalism of other media outlets). Popular culture (specifically in the forms of patriotic themed films about history and Serbia’s counterpart to American “New Country,” a type of music called “Turbo-Folk”) as well as a clear, though unofficial, renaissance of religion and its inference in political life followed suit.

When the wars of secession began, they were not fought on Serbian soil (in fact not until the 1999 NATO bombing did the Serbian nation see actual attacks on Serbian soil). And so, it was through media depictions and political discourses that the people learned what was happening in the course of these wars, and the events were framed in such a way as to convince the people that the wars were being fought for their protection, and that the enemy they were fighting was vicious, inhumane and subhuman. Popular culture reinforced these messages, reinvigorating patriotic/nationalist identity and reinterpreting important historical moments to fit the needs of the present.

Meanwhile, Serbia became synonymous with war and nationalism within the wider world, and when all was said and done, they were left with a horrific legacy, a traumatized populace, and abject poverty – partially b/c of the war, partially b/c of NATO sanctions, partially b/c of the corrupt government who grew fat on both the war and the people’s money. When the Serbian people finally stood up and ousted Milosevic, and elected reformer Zoran Dzindzic as their new leader, there was a huge swell of hope. (Sadly, it was short-lived as Dzindzic was assassinated.)

So while we are nowhere near to the steep “fall from Grace” that the Serbian people & nation have experienced, I do see parallels in our national situations, and I understand the feelings of frustration and hopelessness/helplessness expressed by the wish “ … to live in a country that I don’t want to leave.”

The hope that Obama represents in my mind – a hope for a new era for our nation, for changes in the way we do things - has made me realize that I had become completely disillusioned and disenchanted with the United States over the last decade, and that I too, for a long time, felt hopeless and helpless and wished that I lived in a country I didn’t want to leave.

I hope for the person who wrote that statement that Serbia will become that place that young people no longer want to leave– some days I really can see it happening and others … well… not so much!

For our own country, I hope that the new government is a sign that our own country is emerging from the decade of what seems to me to have been, in retrospect, the apex of all the potential pitfalls of wealth, power and capitalism – excess, conspicuous consumption, willful (blissful?) ignorance, and increasing emptiness and meaninglessness of the proclaimed pillar of our nation – participatory, representative Democracy.

I hope that the extraordinary passion the American people showed for this last election, with its many historical “firsts,” and its unprecedented voter turn-out, signals the fact that the American people are ready to take back their nation, and to take an active role to create and maintain the type of nation that the people want.

I am optimistic about the possibilities for our nation’s future, and I hope that through the work and will of the American people that our country will be “a country that I don’t want to leave.”

Just in time for Valentine's Day!

2009-02-13T11:02:00.004-05:00

Just in time for Valentine’s Day… yes that’s right… a marriage proposal!

A young taxi driver named Bojan who drove me to get my residency visa today (for those keeping score, that’s my 4th trip to the Ministry for “Strangers” … ahhh…Serbian Bureaucracy!) has pledged his undying love for me and asked for my hand in marriage. He says that before he met me (in his taxi about an hour ago) he thought he would be a “free man” for life, but now he says he is my man. He says that this arrangement will work out especially well for me because he can help me with my language skills.

He wishes to come back to Philadelphia with me (and have many babies) precisely so that he can visit neighboring San Francisco. He is also convinced that I have met Clint Eastwood and Julia Roberts, who he claims live in Philadelphia! (and apparently commute to work in San Francisco?) And told me that it is his lifelong dream to be with “American girl name Christina” and to see New York. I am the luckiest girl in Serbia!

(I am not so good with Geography, is San Francisco between Phillie and NYC? And where is Clint Eastwood’s house? Can he see Ben Franklin from his window?)

In other news…Belgrade has become a winter wonderland! After stretch of 5 warm and sunny days without a jacket, I had considered sending my boots and winter coat home. But when I woke yesterday, there was about an inch of snow on my window ledge and it has been snowing steadily since then…and looks as if it will continue for several days and even possibly a week! I actually think it looks beautiful!! And even though it is really snowy, it is not that cold…maybe in the high 20s…so it is not too bad to go outside when I need to…BUT I am not doing too much outside these snowy days as I am trying to take advantage of the weather to get as much work done as possible…and I am making some excellent progress!

Belgrade as winter wonderland! (as seen from my apartment)

The last few days I have renewed my love affair with Edward Said and have read and written like a maniac! I have also been downloading from itunes the weekly episodes of LOST and Heroes (as well as The Office) to watch at night as I am winding down. Now…The Office is as funny and well scripted as ever. I like it very much. It did not lose its touch with the union of Jim & Pam and has really taken on a life of its own after mimicking very closely its British counterpart for the 1st few seasons.

LOST is still so suspenseful and awesome and I love every minute of it…though I am hoping the time switching thing ends soon and I was a little disappointed with the cursory treatment of Russeau’s story – she got shortchanged!! Still, I was on the edge of my seat the whole episode and was breathlessly cursing the moment it ended. I have also been rewatching old seasons and I have realized how clever the writers are. The 1st time through I was so focused on the story that I missed the fact that you have a host of philosophers embedded in the characters (obviously Locke & Hume, but also Bentham, Russeau, and Said as well as Edmund Burke – there may be others I am missing). I also now think that the main characters are supposed to represent the 7 deadly sins, though I haven’t worked that all out yet. (This is what I have thought of so far…Hurley is Gluttony, Sawyer is Greed, Jack is either pride or envy, Boone & Shannon were Lust (but Shannon could be Vanity as well), Ana Lucia & Said are Vengeance, Kate - ? not sure…, Jin is Pride, Charlie may have been Sloth, Nicki & Paolo were greed, there may be others, but Locke, Libby, Bernard & Rose and Claire seem to be the antitheses and it is unclear where Sun falls in this theory).

Oh, and by the way, in honor of Valentine’s Day I will disclose a little love secret…I have several super secret boyfriends on Lost, 2 of whom are now dead…Said is my main boyfriend – I love him the most and have from the beginning. I love his personality and his body and his accent. The funny thing is I heard the actor Naveen Andrews (who plays Said) talking in an interview and I like the actor way less than I like the character. Jin is my other boyfriend – though I only like him for his looks. I also liked Boone & Mr. Echo – both dead, and both distant 3rds to the others.

Heroes on the other hand…I am a little disappointed with. I LOVED the 1st season. The 2nd season was good, but the strike threw a wrench in the works. Season 3 start out OK, but now I am not so sure about it. The writing is not as good as LOST, but also there are so many unclear choices, deserted plotlines, and recycled stale themes.

I have so many questions!

…where is Micah? What is with Tracey – formerly Nicky!?!? (Nicky annoyed me, but Tracey is even worse!) They seem to have run out of interesting things to do with Claire and Hiro (the best characters of season 1). Where is the little girl that Parkman & Suresh protected? What happened to Parkman’s kid and pregnant wife? Still so many mysteries from season 1 that are not solved. And the only character that seems to be allowed interesting story lines is Sylar, and still his story is inconsistent and confusing.

The only thing I can think of is that they are running each group of episodes like individual comic books so that there is minimal character development and disjointed story telling, with each collection of episodes acting as an individual story about the characters. I am not giving up on it yet, but I am really hoping it gets better again.

Finally, I had the strangest dream last night…I dreamt I was in the WaWa for like 5 hours and there was all these random wierdos that worked there and each had a nickname. There was “mama” who was the older woman, chubby, bad teeth, loud and not very bright, but sweet and everyone loved her. There was “Princess” who was a hot, slutty, “but-a-face” 19 year old, and her cohort “Queen Bee” who was an equally skanky but sweet single mother in her 30s. Now “Mama” was having a secret affair with “grease” who was the skinny, oily late 20s guy who smelled of cars and cigarettes. And there was one guy (the only one who is actually a person who works at the WaWa in my neighborhood in NJ) who is a good looking Pakistani guy who looks to be in his late 20s. I can’t remember his name in real life, and he did not have a nickname in the dream.

For some reason in the dream I was trapped inside WaWa for hours and I kept buying snack food, cigarettes and lotto tickets with the hope I would be allowed out. I was then forced to sit through a WaWa educational training seminar with them, and I sat next to the Pakistani guy and talked to him (probably b/c in real life he is my super secret WaWa crush).

In all…a very strange dream!

And a very strange day today!

But I am back to work! Thanks for reading and will write again next week or when something else interesting happens…

Happy Valentine’s Day and have a great weekend.

Something silly I saw on FB (just so my number of posts d/n sit at "13" for too long...)

2009-02-11T10:16:00.003-05:00

OK, so this post has no real relevance except that I did not want my number of posts to sit at "13" for too long. Yes I know it is a stupid superstition, but I need all the luck I can get...

So here is a silly thing I saw on FB. You can do it too.

1. REAL NAME (no real relevance )
Xina Peacock [NOTE: not my real real name, but my real cyber identity]

2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
Carol Anthony [NOTE: This one is already taken by a former colleague!]

3. NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
George Michael [NOTE: I think that this one is already taken as well!]

4. STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Peaxi

5. DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Dolphin [NOTE: should be Blue Polar Bear, but that sounds less intriguing]

6. SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Marie Willoughby

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
THE Purple Maker [Hmmm...sounds lame! What's my super power? Bruising others?]

8. FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Xick [Which I guess you could pronounce "Chick"]

9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Vanilla White Chocolate

10. SKANK NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Princess Erica

11. GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus 'izzle')
Peaizzle

13. YOUR IRAQI NAME:(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)
Iamana Ock

14. YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Monkey [Now that is a way better Superhero name!]

15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Juicy Score [Not bad, but XXXina is already built in!]

My living space...for E.B.

2009-02-11T08:37:00.009-05:00

Having made several posts yesterday I had not intended to post again until next week, but I have had a request from E.B. to write a post about my apartment with photos, so here goes…

When you first enter my building through the red iron doors, you take a very small, old elevator to the top floor from where you walk up 2 more flights. There you find my cozy little flat at the very top of the building. It is unclear if these last 2 floors were an afterthought to the building itself, but I do like being at the top as I can see out over the expanse of mud and blocks that surround me, and have a great view of the neighborhoods gangs of stray dogs that occupy the space below.

Doors to get into the place

Inside the scarey elevator

A view of the scarey elevator

One very good thing is that the walls and floors seem fairly thick, so with the exception of being able to hear the elevator creeking and clanking all night long, the only neighbors I hear are either coming and going on the stairs, or the small baby who sleeps in the apartment next to me, who I do hear crying at night, but not too loudly. The floors in my flat are tile, some of it very nice, and a few tiny throw rugs. This is fine for me, but unfortunate for the people below who I can only imagine must hear me walking and dropping things more than they would like.

The flat itself is nicely renovated, but sparsely furnished, with blank walls, and window coverings that resemble the thickness and coverage of cheap toilet paper. I have managed to create more coverage in the main bedroom by adding extra “toilet paper” panels, so I can get that room fairly dark. The upshot is that there is a lot of light and many windows, which I like very much. Also lacking seems to be electrical outlets. There are like 4 outlets for the whole apartment. But I have solved this problem by getting a few power strips.

Once inside, I have a large living area with a TV (but no cable, so only a few channels in the local language, which is useful for practicing listening, but not as useful for mindless entertainment). Also in this living area there is a couch and chair, both of which are pieced together from various other pieces of furniture and held together with what appears to be large staples. The couch pulls out into a rickety double bed, outfitted with a “mattress” that is about ½ inch thick (but the guests that came last weekend did sleep on it, and did not seem to have sustained any injury, which is promising).

My living room area

My piecemeal couch - note the different colors from different pieces of furniture

View of neighborhood from the living room window (on a rainy day)

Behind the living room furniture is the part of the flat I hate…the “table”/workspace. This consists of a small, round, wicker patio table with 2 wicker patio chairs. My computer takes up the entire space with no room for books or anything else. I have looked into getting a desk, but it is not cheap. I have however asked my landlord if he could bring something a little larger when he comes to collect the rent next week…so here’s hoping! One person did suggest that I wrangle local Roma to come and build me a table, but that somehow does not seem like the best idea for me at this point.

Also in this part is the main heater (electric) and the apartment’s only mirror. So this part is also my “vanity” space. I may try to get another mirror as there is, oddly enough, a mirror shop at the bottom of the stairs. There is also a longer wicker bench which is currently serving as a sort of bookshelf/work stuff storage space. Cluttered and unattractive though it is, I only have myself to impress at this point, so I am fine with it.

Behind this part is the kitchen space. Here you have a really nice tile floor that looks like stone, while ceramic tile walls and black faux-marble counter tops – all and all pretty nice looking. There is a huge counter space, nice cabinet space, a very tiny stove and oven and a small fridge about twice the size of a dorm fridge. Luckily this fridge also has a small freezer space (with one ice tray!) so I can buy some frozen veggies and avoid the mean ladies in the grocery store’s fresh veggie section! (When the weather gets nicer I will buy my veggies from the open-air market.)

The kitchen also contains my washing machine (for which I am very grateful!). [For those not familiar with the Euro-typical laundry situation, there is no clothes dryer. You hang-dry your clothes. For houses with a bathtub there is often a rack that you hoist above the tub once you’ve hung your wet clothes. For houses without a tub you use a large free standing drying rack and hang your clothes. I have lived in only one Euro-flat with a dryer, so I think the hang drying system is most common.]

View of my "workspace" and living room from kitchen

My kitchen appliances

View of my kitchen and "workspace"

view from my kitchen window - this pink building is is bad shape!

The pink building looks a lot nicer on a sunny day!

Off the living area is the larger bedroom, which is the one I sleep in, is outfitted with a large closet space, an electric heater and an actual bed which seems to be queen sized! NOTE: this is NOT the typical Euro-bed with 2 smaller beds pushed together that I have grown accustomed to here, but is an actual large sized bed! Lumpy and misshapen though it is, I am happy with it, and have many blankets and pillows to aid in a good night’s sleep. This is probably my favorite room in the house, even though the blank walls and emptiness of the space made me feel a little depressed in the beginning. I now like this room a lot because of the way the red curtains make the room glow. I also found a bright green comforter for this room which brightens it up considerably.

My room :-)

My bathroom is rather small, but quite clean and cute. There is a nice tile floor in here as well, with a clean, new stand-up shower, and lovely green ceramic tiled walls. The mirror in the bathroom is placed for someone much taller than I, and I can see from about my nose up. There is also a shaving mirror, but I cannot even see the top of my head in that mirror! My favorite feature of the bathroom is the purple hippos on the shower floor that are the slip guards – so cute! My least favorite part is the big step-up into the shower, the metal lip of which has given me more than one bloody toe already!

My shower/bathroom

My tub hippos

Finally, next to the bathroom you have the smaller bedroom – the one I like to call the Kermit the Frog room. I use this room for hanging my laundry and ironing and changing my clothes when I get out of the shower (as it is right next to the bathroom). This room is very tiny, but is a fine space for overnight guests as it is private and not right next to the living room or the larger bedroom. So why do I call it the Kermit room? I am pretty sure that the bed in this room was made for Kermit the Frog! It may be the smallest adult bed I have ever seen! In terms of length it is probably long enough for most adults, but the width is much smaller than a standard single bed in the US – reminding me of the width of a bus seat.

Kermit the frog bed

For the time I am here and for myself (and even one other muppet sized person) the flat is an excellent size, with a nice layout and a good shape. I love it that it is on the top floor, and while the neighborhood is one of the least attractive I have seen here in Belgrade, it is an excellent location and while locals think it is too expensive, by our standards the price is good. Though I wish there was a balcony, and a better workspace, everything else about the place is just fine with me. When I think about the fact that this sized flat would be for an entire family, I feel claustrophobic just imagining it! But that is the American way! We like our space!

So that’s it! My little home! Enjoy the pics and if you come visit, the Kermit room is yours!

Thanks for reading...and I promise no more posts until next week!

A few things I wanted to share that made me laugh...

2009-02-11T02:51:00.015-05:00

An amusing map...

And one that made me a little homesick...(a tribute to Trader Joes filmed by Rainn Wilson)

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=63317227568&h=Wqkcu&u=W66dZ

And finally, an article about a very amusing and controversial art hoax, which deeply offended Bulgaria and forced Czech Republic to apologize...lighten up Europe! Laugh at yourself!!!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jan/18/eu-politics-bulgaria-italy

And the link to see the artwork...Check them out, and be sure the read the captions, they explain the images. The Holland one kills me! I also like the France.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/gallery/2009/jan/14/entropa-eu-art-hoax

And a video where you can see the parts moving...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXzEMAEKT8k

P.S. - Kako se kaze "jungle rot" u Srpski?

2009-02-10T14:57:00.001-05:00

P.S. – I just got home from work and wanted to add a note to today’s post…

Today was a good day! I found my job without problem, and started transcribing a series of short films for the Women in Black (so that the films can be subtitled in Serbian). The films themselves are called Women on the Frontline and each is a short documentary detailing the struggles of various women from communities across the globe. Today I transcribed one about the trafficking of women & girls in Nepal for prostitution in India – really fascinating – and one about honor killings in Turkey. I can’t wait to copy these films to bring back for use in the classroom!

Also in the course of my day I learned how to use my phone to text friends in the US, had a successful and pleasant grocery store experience, and saw three massively pregnant dogs (which may not be exciting for most people, but reminds me things could be worse! I have no idea why the massively pregnant, clearly uncomfortable stray dogs here arouse my pity, but they do. I feel doubly bad for them in the summer!)

But there is one less fortunate thing to report…how do you say “I have jungle rot between my toes and need anti-fungal cream” in Serbian? YUCK! I have no idea how this happened. I clean my feet, wear clean socks, and even let my feet sleep naked. But somehow I have something totally gross growing between my toes, Not very sexy, I know, but a fact of life here I guess, especially for us foreigners, as from all reports, I am not the only one here who is struggling with grotesque fungal issues. It makes me realize that people here are immensely attractive in spite of common struggles and that makes them even more attractive!!

One other thing to note…it has become clear to me that Serbian women (when 10 or more years older than you) act a lot like Italian mothers – nurturing, but sometimes too honest! My American colleague at WiB is struggling with this. The women at the organization are all very close and nurturing, which brings with it a comfort level that allows them to tell you what is wrong with you…so that you might fix it I assume. They are not shy to tell a young woman that she is chubby, or that she needs to wear more make-up, or even to offer to take her to the store to buy better cosmetics! Presumably they do not do this to be rude, but for the person who is being picked at, it is not a pleasant experience. Now, they are not yet close enough to me to start picking me apart, but I am sure it is only a matter of time before they do, and I am hoping for either the strength to endure it gracefully or the language ignorance to not understand them!

Finally, I will be most fortunate if I make it out of here without getting hit by a taxi or bus! The green “walk” sign is meaningless for the most part, and sometimes people even seem to speed-up at cross walks and even at stop signs. I used to think that the people I see on the streets here who are missing limbs were war victims. I now think it is entirely possible that they tried to cross the street!

I once met a guy in NYC who was visiting from Japan. I asked him what he found most surprising or difficult to adjust to in US culture. He told me that he found it overwhelming that American people all seem to act as if the rules were not created for them…and cited the way that people cross the street wherever and whenever they like (as opposed to waiting for the light in an orderly fashion) as evidence for this. As chaotic and unbound by rules as this place is, I often think of that Japanese guy, and wonder how he would manage here. I imagine that his brain might implode!